back to article Google cedes Belgium to Germany

We've got some rather shocking news this afternoon for those of you who've spent years believing you're Austrian, Belgian, Danish or Dutch - you're not. In fact, you're German, as this map from Google's comic book guide to Chrome proves: Map from Google Chrome guide showing Austria, Belgium, Denmark and Holland as part of …


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  1. JASR
    Thumb Up

    Swiss angry as well?

    Plus, there appears to be an entirely new country above Italy.

  2. dervheid


    too much time on his hands!

    Way to much.

    Frikkin anorak.

  3. Stephane Mabille

    greater Denmark

    As this is the exact point where we (finally) learn that the V8 (inspired by motor or vegetable juice??) team is Danish... so I suspect the map represent the Great Denmark, Germany never existed and always been occupied by the vikings!

  4. Andy Walton

    Some more reasons this is shit...

    Iceland has developed the power of speech.

    The guy on the left is clearly stuck in the 80's, doing the robot.

    The straights of gibraltar have silted up, which will cause the med to evaporate, presumably why italy has grown a knee.

    Greenland has a 'zip-up sea', a new feature by Slarti Bartvarst (sp?) up for a planet design award this year.

    It's obvious google are going to sell off our planet once they've done photographing the main sights for intergalactic oil-magnates and leave us with a cheap knock-off planet.

    You couldn't make it up.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That is, in fact Denmark

    As far as I can tell, there is no border between Denmark and Germany on that map. Since Google's almighty programmers clearly point towards Denmark's vicinity, Denmark has either been reduced to those two islands between Sweden and Germany or, in fact, Google's V8 was so great it conquered all of Germany for Denmark.

  6. Andy Kay
    Paris Hilton

    They obviously been...

    ...tracking Mr Hitler Jr's web surfing habits.

    Paris - because she's probably in on it too, being of German origin an' all

  7. Justin

    World according to Google

    It looks like Denmark belongs to Germany too. Some of the Countries That Used To Be The USSR seem to be correct, but where are the borders within the UK? And why is the Yorkshire Bordern not marked.

    Daggers at Dawn, Google. Hope you've got good defences.

  8. Max Lange

    And poor Greece!

    The southern part is completely drowned!

    That can only mean one thing: It is a map received from the future, after the eruption of someplace like Santorin or so, taking with it a sizeable chunk of Hellas.

    Obviously, if Google knows as much about the future development of Europe, they also know what people will be looking for in a browser 10 years from now.

    I.f.o.w.o.n. Google-eyed, devining overlords.

  9. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    Not only that...

    Great Britain seems to have grown a secondary Wales just a bit north of the first one. One was bad enough...

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More like Denmark taking back northern Germany - and getting carried away

    Ha, says I.

    More like Denmark finally taking back what was taken from us in 1864 by that scoundrel Bismarck. And then taking back some more.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    ...not to mention that Italy has been gratified with an impressive couple of Bulgarian airbags

  12. Mark Cathcart

    Rewriting history

    my favorite is the one on page-4 where it says "We're applying the same kind of process isolation you find in modern operating systems" - Like err, address spaces in the 1970's mainframe systems. Just because Windows was borked doesn't mean everything else is... but then if Google says its true, it must be. So how radical is the concept of running tabs as processes and freeing up all the memory when you close a tab... not very, just another old concept applied obviously, patents anyone?

    Oh yeah, and I remember around 1985 when the VM/SP pubs team first used cartoons to explain topics in some of the VM/SP manuals, so even thats not new google. Still nice to see the youngsters re-invent the old, maybe next up will be google coke, if you put a dirty penny in it, it cleans it... Wow.

    Having said that, I'll be trying out Google Chrome, muppet I know. Mines half way up the stairs

  13. Gianni Straniero
    Black Helicopters

    Something rotten in the state of...

    ... Poland. Because that's where Mike Belshe seems to think Denmark can be found.

  14. P. Lee

    Don't worry

    There's no oil.

    We won't be going to war over it this time.

  15. Yves Kurisaki

    The new Europe

    Scotland seems to have finally cracked as well.

    Does that mean a bigger premier league soon?

  16. Jolyon Ralph
    Thumb Up

    You have it wrong

    According to the description, they are pointing out the Greater Danish Empire of the new expanded Denmark, a dramatic change in European geopolitics only brought on by the power of their incredible Javascript engine.

  17. Mike Moyle

    It's worse than you think...

    It looks to me that they've got ALL of Switzerland, and Hungary, with just a sliver of Austria holding out against the Anschluss.

    OTOH, if I'm reading the text correctly, the narrators seem to be saying that they're all Danes now, so it might be okay.

  18. Daniel Sobral

    Legal problems?

    Maybe they are still upset about the legal problems they had in Belgium. :-)

  19. Sam


    Stoodpid Sceptics...

    BTW, has England put on weight?

  20. Anonymous Coward

    Thats nothing...

    I thought I was English, but it looks like I've been chucked in with them Scots and Welsh peoples.


  21. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    you'd think someone might have checked on er... google maps?

  22. Andrew Bolton
    Thumb Up

    Germany? Pah!

    You've misinterpreted. Plainly, given the caption, the Danes have turned Viking and got their belated revenge on the Germans for the WWII occupation by invading southwards. Lego for all!


  23. John Savard

    Greater Denmark, actually

    There is also no border between Denmark and Germany shown in the map in the background. Thus, it would seem as if Denmark, as well as the Low Countries and part of Switzerland became part of Germany. But, wait! The figures in the foreground are speaking of Denmark. Hence, it cannot be that Denmark no longer exists; hence, Germany has become part of Denmark, rather than Denmark becoming part of Germany.

  24. AntipodeanAdventure

    Proves what we already know....

    Americans have no idea whatsoever regarding any geography outside America. In fact most of them don't even know about American geography!

  25. bigolslabomeat

    Are the holidays nearly over?

    and the "slow news days" with it?

  26. Vulch

    Timeline slider bar?

    Maybe if you play with the gadget to the left it will update the map in time? Take it up one notch and Poland gets invaded, another one and you'll see Vichy France.

    Though from what they're saying it's the Danish Vikings making a push south, they've already taken Slovenia for a bit of Adriatic sea-coast which is surely a better place for a quick dip that the Baltic or North Sea at this (or any other?) time of year.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    old Map

    Well they were using an old 1939 map.

  28. Daniel
    Dead Vulture

    its a cartoon ...

    ... a bit like El Reg some days.

    Jeez, I actually live in Belgium, and I'm not offended.

  29. Pieter

    Isn't that what the V1 and V2 teams tried to acchieve?

    Need I say more...

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not quite!

    Interestingly enough the picture shows this (redrawn) map of Europe -- to the discerning reader -- with a big big Denmark in its centre, not a Germany.


    Herr B.

  31. JP Sistenich

    It's not just Germany

    I think you'll find that the entire Benelux region has been annexed by the New Danish People's Republic too!

    As well as Austria. The map also appears to have suffered the same problem as the original Euro reference book and Wales has been lost to the sea. Not to mention Scicilly appears to have developed a land-bridge to the continent too...

    The one with a spinning globe in the pocket please...

  32. Jolyon Ralph
    Thumb Down

    More worring than all of this....

    Despite the speech bubble, look at the looming enormous mass of Greenland expanding eastwards towards Europe.

    Oh wait. Greenland. Greater Danish Empire. That's it. This Google thing is obviously hiding a MUCH greater agenda.


  33. Nicholas EGF Berry

    Wot happened to Morecambe Bay?

    That buggers Morecambe's tourist industry - seems it's now miles inland.

  34. RW
    IT Angle

    @ Stephane Mabille

    Weren't the Vikings Norse forced to leave home because Norway has so little arable land?

    What with the plains of northern Europe close at hand, the Danes didn't experience the same land pressures.

  35. Anonymous Coward

    Malta appears to have grown a bit too

    It might effectively have a land bridge to Gozo.

    Thats nice, I hope they get some better beaches from it and a bit more room to relax in as its very densely populated there. Its nice of Google to fund the land reclamation project, perhaps using techniques pioneered by the Dutch?

    I generally like the Maltese, they're polite, and don't deserve the hard time they get at US Passport Control, with their Arabic sounding language, dusky mediterranean looks and facial hair.

    Nor do their menfolk.

    AC as I work for some Maltesers

  36. AListair


    why is iceland talking

  37. Anthony Hulse

    Hell, even Monaco's gone!!

    That's enough to make you want to drive off a cliff.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    It seems that the Scots have finally got their way too given how large Scotland seems to be!!!

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    conquered all of Germany for Denmark

    ... correction - "Annexed"

  40. Anonymous Coward

    Why are we surprised???

    Frankly I'm not sure why anyone is surprised the map is inaccurate, they're Yanks.

    I'm suprised they know that Denmark is in Europe, and where Europe is!!!

  41. Eurydice Sophie Exintaris
    IT Angle

    Turkish Empire is back!

    Greece was returned to Turkey...

    Talk about scratching a sore spot, Google!!

    I guess it's a good thing they didn't use colour, or that'd be the whole Cyprus can of worms knocking at their door.

    Of course, mind you, how many greek techies are there??

    (says the Greek techie, feeling all alone...)

  42. MattCasters


    Any government, be it Google HQ or Germany, should do better than the sorry lot that's "running" Belgium right now. I say we had it coming!

    My coat is the one with the "Belgium is dead" sticker on the back.

  43. Claire Rand


    gave up on the comic, so the humour that no doubt resides within is lost on me.

    after all google may well be impressive, this browser even more so but whichever nit did the pages for that comic apparently forgot how the anchor tag is meant to work and thinks everyone has javascript enabled.

    perhaps a swipe by google at all the bods out there that have noscript blocking there analytical scripts?

    mines the one made from tin foil...

  44. This post has been deleted by its author

  45. Anonymous Coward

    Don't mention the war...

    Danish tourist: "Please stop going on about the war"

    Basil: "You started it"

    Danish tourist: “We did not start it”

    Basil: “Yes you did, you invaded Germany, Austria, Belgium and the Netherlands”

  46. Robert St-John
    Paris Hilton

    perhaps its

    what the world will look like after they switch on CERN

  47. TheOldFellow

    Germany surrenders to Netherlands

    Who cares if we have to redraw the map of Europe. As long as Microsoft doesn't get any of it.

  48. John Savard

    Austria, not Switzerland

    Apparently, the area above Italy is Western Austria, not southern Switzerland. And Hungary appears to be integrated with the new large borderless area as well.

    However, since only national boundaries are shown, the omission of the internal borders of the United Kingdom (its border with the Republic of Ireland is shown) should not be taken to imply anything about the status of England, Wales, and Scotland.

  49. eurobloke

    Looks like Stordanmark has more then that

    It seem to also have Slovenia as well as Deutschschweiz, together with making Vorarlburg and Tyrol an independent state.

    Plus, where is Kosovo (if your country recognised it) & Palestinian Territories?

    It will get me coat, one with a proper map of Europe.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BIG red roses

    Lancashire seems to have put on weight.

  51. Robert

    slow news day

    I mean, it's a fricking cartoon, kids.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where's the friggin' Isle of Wight?

  53. vincent himpe

    don't mess with the belgians...

    They control the worlds Beer flow !!! (look up inBev and see all the brands that are owned by that belgian brewing corporations. even Bud , Corona and Tsingtao are under their flag ... )

    Besides that they also have the finest chcoclate, waffles and fries in the world ( forget french fries !. fries were invented by the blegians. you can buy fries on almost every stret corner in belgium )

  54. Anonymous Coward

    @JASR re "new country above Italy"

    You never heard of a place called "Austria" before?

    Ironic really: the one and only country that actually WANTED to be conquered by Germany during WW2 is the one and only country that Google haven't inadvertently annexed to it. Whoops!

  55. Anonymous Coward

    No, no, you're totally misunderstanding....

    Not Germany, not Denmark.

    That's the 51st state, we'll have you know. Gonna call it Googlevania, and drop ship most of the RNC there as they sleep tonight. Enjoy!

  56. Steve Evans

    Oh dear...

    If I was a Pole I'd be slightly concerned about Germany's expansion under Czech and Slovak republics, I think they might be going to sneak in from the South this time...

    Although I would actually quite enjoy watching a Panzer trying to negotiate the Tatras!

    Then again, having sampled Slovakian mountain roads earlier this year, I think a tracked vehicle might actually be for the best!

  57. Neil Hoskins

    No, England hasn't put on weight...

    ...Only *northern* England. Too many pies.

    <ducks, runs>

  58. EmperorFromage

    Clearly is the target here

    By eliminating Germany, the .de domain can be vacated, and the now New Danes can all enjoy gmail as it was intended.

  59. Steven Raith


    The east and north coasts of caithness appear to have been trimmed back a bit. That is a good thing, all those areas are fucking horrific.

    Unfortunately, they have dragged Orkney closer to it - so my old schoolmates [if they weren't killed in the coastal scraping] are now closer to those inbred, sheep shagging fuck nuggets from the islands.

    Orkney dickwads, however, are nothing compared to the Shetlanders [who make the Orkney crowd look like the pinnacle of modern society] so we should all be grateful that they seem to have been pushed out to sea.

    I, for one, welcome our world-reshaping Belgian overlords. Especially if they get rid of more of the far north of Scotland.

    And supply us all with good chocolate.

    Steven R

    [Grew up in Wick, Thurmster and Thurso - 'em...]

  60. GC

    Don't forget Luxembourg!

    What about poor old Luxembourg .. and Malta

  61. Anonymous Coward

    You're all wrong

    It's not Denmark, or Germany, or Belgium any more...'s Greater Googleland!

    You didn't think it was just the web they wanted to conquer did you?

  62. Meuca

    Welcome to the club

    I'm Catalan. Some international companies ignore our language and they use Spanish or French, instead of Catalan. Welcome to the club. You can feel what we( millions of Catalan speakers) feel.

  63. Kenny Millar

    Worse than that

    Scotland has been made a part of Engerland too! The horror!

  64. David Hayes


    Do we start burning our Google embassies now? What....?

  65. Mike Smith

    @Malta appears to have grown a bit too

    "AC as I work for some Maltesers"

    We're recruiting. We'll better your current salary - two Mars Bars a day.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    There is no border around Yorkshire

    as the Entire Landmass that was formerly known as "Great Britain" is now "Greater Yorkshire".

    Most of Yorkshire is descended from the Vikings so in an act of solidarity with the mother country we annexed the rest of the nation.

    Denmark get Europe, we get the Yorkshire Isles.

    "And I for one welcome our Flat Cap (with horns) Wearing overlords and I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground Yorkshire Pudding mines".

  67. Chris Bradshaw

    I make it

    I make it Germany, Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Denmark, Austria, Slovenia, Hungary, and most of Switzerland. Lichtenstein is (as usual) to small on this scale to be sure about, but let's include it to be on the safe side...

    Please note also the Italians seem to have created a land bridge to Sicily, as have the Turks across the Bosphorus. And has Jordan grabbed a chunk of Israel??

    But (and I hope I am not being fastidious here) why the immediate assumption that Germany has taken over Belgium et al, rather than the other way around.

    I, for one, welcome our new Lichtensteinian* overlords with open arms.

    * or something like that...

  68. Anonymous Coward

    It's just an Bushmap....

    ...drawn up in Bushland .. with his widespread knowledge of foreign affairs, he just changed a few borders for the common good .. after all, he used GoogleMaps to find the WMD!

  69. René Seindal

    Tal dansk, I hunde!

    Så kan I lære det.

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I'll give you a Belgium and Holland for Andorra.

    As long as you throw in Luxembourg

    Paris, because she like to work the trade.

  71. Anonymous Coward

    Not Just Belgium

    Who nicked Malta?

  72. Miguel Farah
    Dead Vulture

    What happened to Cyprus?

    It would seem the cypriots opposed Greater Denmark and was destroyed in retaliation... only a fragment of the island survives.

  73. Don Lindsay

    the Zeppelin threat


    Yes, an actual genuine Zeppelin will soon be hangared at Moffat Field, just beside the Google air superiority fleet, and (of course) a mere stone's throw from the GooglePlex. Does anyone doubt they'll rent it?


  74. Simon

    If the Germans take over Holland

    Maybe they can pull their teutonic fingers out this time and sort out the crappy beer.

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