Gives a whole new meaning to 'Jolly Rodger'
So that's how the flag got it's name!
Portsmouth punts naval boy-on-boy to innocent kiddies
Avast there and unfurl the Twat-O-Tron ye scurvy landlubbers of Middle England, lest Portsmouth Historic Dockyard make barrel boys of ye all, damn their eyes: Poster for Portsmouth Historic Dockyard Yes indeed, me buckaroos, that's how Portsmouth punts Blighty's nautical heritage, as a suitably shaken Igor Z can attest. Mr Z …
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Wednesday 27th August 2008 11:56 GMT Frank
Spelling mistakes (and worse)
"plank-walking.."
I'm sorry but even a humorous article should have correct spelling, please correct this.
"..a touch o' the cat.."
This is getting dangerously close to extreme porn so I have to stop reading here and clear my cache.
More in sorrow than in anger.....etc, etc
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Wednesday 27th August 2008 11:56 GMT Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
The reason the guys f**k each other...
Is because the standard of the young female population is so low.
Having spent a few years gracing the south coast sh*thole with my presence I can attest to the truly shocking quality of the female population.
Generally ugly, a loud gibbon-like eloquence and social structure with a propensity for bad language and the drinking of cheap alcohol. Too many small tight tops to proudly show off the flabby results of too much shallow end of the gene pool breeding and eating of junk food to the uneducated chav like male population. It goes without saying that this model for a life is handed down from the elders who generally believe that shouting "Pom-peeeeeeeey" and having those very letters self tatooed onto ones body is the way to bag a quality partner.
There is also the interesting fashion style called the "Fareham facelift" - this involves the female tying the hair back so tightly it pulls all of the wrinkles out of the face to hide the fat. These pituary retards must think this makes them more attractive, but upon reflection... I beg to differ.
Paris obviously. She may be a bit wayward but she'd light up the back streets of Stamshaw or Fratton like an angel... until the girls of Portsmouth, with their unevolved frontal lobes beat her up of out of jealousy of course.
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Wednesday 27th August 2008 12:54 GMT martin burns
With a Yo-ho-ho and perhaps, I might venture, a bottle of rum into the bargain?
I think you mean:
Aaaaaaahrrrrr Aaaaaaahrrrrr Aaaaaaaaaaahrrrrr. Me laddy. The last one up the old sea dog gets a lick of the cat'!
...
He may have been only a third-rate sailor, but he made a first-rate second course.
The one with a stick that comes back, a beard and bottles of Fine Wine in the pocket.
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Wednesday 27th August 2008 13:03 GMT Anonymous Coward
Royal Navy
Dear Sir,
I am glad to hear that your readership disapproves of the poster as strongly as I.
As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for buggery. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls shagged in Aden. Arabs?
Yours etc.
Captain B.J. Smethwick, up the old sea dog, with a lick o' the cat.
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Wednesday 27th August 2008 16:20 GMT Anonymous Coward
Nothing but two Republicans getting together in Saint Paul next week
Come on boys, this is what the GOP has turned into over the past decade, and the Repugs don't seem to have a problem with it, so why should should Her Majesty's Navy?) . There's a couple of recreated 19th century riverboats at the docks in St. Paul where Larry Craig can recreate these scenes with his butt buddies, with Dick (no snickering!) Cheney watches for the coast to be clear
Paris because she'd be safe with this crowd while the cabin boy's in danger
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Wednesday 27th August 2008 17:37 GMT Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
@ Luther Blisset...
Apologies. But it's a way of purging the mental scars.
Off topic again though... when the real Luther Blisset used to play for Bournemouth he used to live in Corfe Mullen. His house was called "Far Corfe".
Work that one out for yourselves.
Neigh!!!!
Oh what the hell... Paris again as she likes dimwits hung like horses.
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Thursday 28th August 2008 09:56 GMT Echowitch
Aah Pompey
The picture.......having long ago dated an RN Admiral's daughter I can attest to the fact that anyone in relation to the Royal Navy ALWAYS does it "Navy style on the Poop Deck". And there's always plenty of "seamen" ;)
To Aristoles.....clearly you have been there and now the place well. I grew up in Havant, (monumental shit hole that it is which makes me so glad I live in Surrey now.) and yes the "females" of the area are generally either stick thin anorexic chav twigs with the "Fareham facelift", or fat gobby fakkiiiiin caaaawwsss with the same hair do, and half a dozen kids by different fathers. There are a few, and I stress few exceptions. Mostly the minority of the population that aren't chav's.
Although saying that there are a number of the female chavs that if you scrapped off the cheap plastered on makeup, scrubbed off the cheap tarty perfume that they seem to bath in, unplastered their hair and got them out of the slapper clothes, they would actually pass as quite attractive young women. Sadly they won't. Perhaps someone would like to perform a massed "My Fair Lady" on Pompey ??
Won't someone think of the children - Aah the Paulsgrove Paedophile riots. A thoroughly entertaining event to everyone local when contacted by people from other area's of the country commenting in shock at the "cars on fire, people being dragged from their homes and beaten up by mistake" and being advised that Paulsgrove is always like that. (Ok so there were 2 cars on fire in comparison to the normal 1 car on fire.) The best part is when I learned that the women in charge of the protesters was arrested right after giving an interview to the BBC for child neglect. She's left her 2 year old at home alone and it had gotten out of the house and was found running in the middle of the street naked. (A thoroughly dangerous thing to do because of all the boy racers round there.) People I know at Portsmouth City Council advised me that this particular woman was not fit to lead such a protest as she had a rap sheet with Social Services for child neglect and child abuse as long as your arm, and had had her children taken away from her several times. Which of course by Paulsgrove standards makes her a model mother lol
I went back to Pompey over the weekend and ended up having to email a friend when I got home to check and see if Pompey really was as run down and crap looking as I saw it, or if I was comparing it to a rose tinted memory of Pompey after living in lovely clean Surrey for the last 8 years.
Paris as she's probably done it Navy style and loves Seamen ;)
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Thursday 28th August 2008 12:13 GMT Walking Turtle
Apocryphal Attribution (Admiralty?)
"It has been brought to the attention of the Admiralty that Sodomy is being practiced by enlisted sailors of Her Majesty's Navy while on duty. This practice shall cease immediately - or We shall /discontinue/ it."
Emphasis on the phrase, "while on duty", of course.
It's allegedly authentic Admiralty writ from HM Victoria's illustrious era, tho' picked up Stateside - the pic makes a fine reminder. Does much to reinforce Mr. Churchill's expressed impression as well at first glance, must say.
Jolly Roger's close but not a precise fit... Arghhh, lettit go...
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Thursday 28th August 2008 12:13 GMT Portsmouth Historic Dockyard
From Portsmouth Historic Dockyard
Portsmouth Historic Dockyard is delighted, if a little surprised, at all the interest our latest billboard campaign has received. The image used in this billboard was produced 2 years ago in all innocence, but with the hindsight provided by its recent online coverage I can now see that we might have chosen the camera angle a little better!
Whilst I can't see us using the same image on future billboards, it's great to see an attraction as important to Britain's heritage as Portsmouth Historic Dockyard reaching a wider audience. We hope that some of the readers of The Register are encouraged to learn more about us from our website at http://www.historicdockyard.co.uk or even come and visit us for themselves.
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Thursday 28th August 2008 13:40 GMT rachel
@ 'Pompeygray'
First and foremost Mr Zed does not live in Winchester - I do! How do I know this? Because I was with him when the photo was taken, and completely horrified and distraught might I add ;) Not a smidgen of a Southampton fan in sight I'm affraid, why would it have to be about football? Is that all you think about? But then I suppose you are a Pompey fan! Winchester is a great place to live - it has culture and is a bit more than a beer, curry and a fight, Oh and the girls are much hotter and we can spell!!
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Thursday 28th August 2008 23:00 GMT Paul Freeland
Fond memories
Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse wrote:
"Generally ugly, a loud gibbon-like eloquence and social structure with a propensity for bad language and the drinking of cheap alcohol. Too many small tight tops to proudly show off the flabby results of too much shallow end of the gene pool breeding and eating of junk food to the uneducated chav like male population. It goes without saying that this model for a life is handed down from the elders who generally believe that shouting "Pom-peeeeeeeey" and having those very letters self tatooed onto ones body is the way to bag a quality partner."
Ahhh, the joys of a "run ashore in Pompey" ....... A few beers in the "Still and West", Trap some local talent then off to Southsea for a vindaloo in the Golden West curry house, the simple pleasures of life in a blue suit.
Space Invaders cos the Pickled Onion flavour is the best!
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Friday 29th August 2008 02:53 GMT Mr Natural
passed on to a wider public
I did send this to writers@bbc.co.uk but it was returned for some less that suitably humourous reason after the suggestion that it might be used as some humour / parody / obsucre interest program
neer mind, i suspect the recepient was just having a bad hair day or lack of humour day.
needless to say it was never stated as to here that hair might be ...
:-|
roc
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
