back to article Booze and breasts combined, finally

Ladies, if you’re not happy with the size of your bust, but your boyfriend won’t let you see surgical redress, then retailer Firebox has a solution that’ll make you both grin with glee. Tits_wine_rack_02 The WineRack: pour the wine in and suck away The company's unveiled the WineRack bra. As the name suggests, and the …


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  1. Eddie Edwards
    Thumb Up

    Amy WineRack

    Pure genius. Please double the price of your subscription.

  2. AndyC

    <title goes here>

    Almost as good as the beer belly that they do...

    Although the advantage with that is as yuo drink it you lose weight and hence look even more fantastic as the night progresses...

    I think asking for a sip for the chest may go down, well, like the Hindenburg but hey ho, be amusing :)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    IT Angle?

    Oh, right. Boobs and beer. Nevermind.

  4. Mike Flugennock

    Damn! Every decent titty joke I can think of...

    ...has been done already by Benny Hill.

    Too bad he and Graham Chapman aren't around to see this.

    ", you see those two trophies there? Yes, zoom in on the two trophies!"

  5. Anonymous Coward

    They don't sell it in my wifes size

    My lovely wife Melanie, would like one of these for her birthday

    Unfortunatly it only goes up to size 38B

    Where is the Extra large model for 44F and above?

    Anon because my wife might be watching El Reg

    Coat please, it has the hip flask in the pocket

  6. Coen
    Thumb Up

    Great stuff

    I'll be buying my wife some of these. As for the warm booze I heartily recommend austro-swiss gluhwein or british ales. This'll keep me happy around the house regardless of if the missus is wearing clothes.

  7. LaeMi Qian
    Thumb Up

    Shrinking boobs as you drink

    Not so much a problem as he will be too drunk to notice by then!

  8. Captain DaFt

    Bra Bar?

    Nah, "Winerack" is sheer genius! (Though I agree, body temperature is a bit too warm for wine)

    Of course, if you did market a competing model called the "Bra Bar", It leads naturally to a booze filled merkin called the "Bra Bar Bush"!

    -whap- Damn! Why does someone always bring tomatoes?

  9. kain preacher

    You tube

    I would love to see a guy give this to his wife/GF and film the results.

  10. Dave The Cardboard Box

    Only three months after it was reported everywhere alse

    but hey, it's "the reg" so we'll pretend it's cutting edge.

  11. Anonymous Coward

    @ Melanie's husband

    The missus here is ... um, larger than a B cup and she says you can slip a half-bottle under a boob, held to the ribs with the elastic and no-one pats you down that close to the mammage.

  12. Anonymous Coward

    Mulled Wine

    Combined with the Winter, would be a good match (for warm tipples/nipples).

  13. This post has been deleted by its author

  14. CTG


    How about a pic of the lovely moderatrix modelling said WineRack????


  15. Anonymous Coward

    @Melanie's husband

    Presumably your wife knows you read The Reg if she reads it. Therefore, if she's reading THIS, do you think she'll think that poster is referring to some OTHER huge-busted Melanie with a birthday coming up? Hmm...

  16. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Thank god

    Must be Friday again ..... :-)

  17. James Anderson
    Paris Hilton


    Liebfraulmilch at blood temprature!

    Even a devout dipsomaniac like myself has limits -- pass the meths.

    Paris -- cos she could do with a boost in that area

  18. david

    Dunno about 'er indoors

    I might get one for me man boobs...

  19. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton


    Hmmm , just the thing to match those across the North Sea sippee undees from the land of the dikes too!

    But then again , could be a very good accessory for those cross dressers out there too !

  20. Eponymous Cowherd
    Thumb Down

    Yeuch! Ugh!

    The last time I saw anything like that bottom picture it was under granddad's hospital bed.

    And the end of the tube didn't go to his mouth.

    But the liquid *was* a similar colour.

  21. Daniel Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Amy Winerack


    You so owe me a new keyboard.

  22. stu

    preggers one

    can't help thinking they are missing a trick by not making a preggers one:

    1) far far more space for wine storage

    2) you will have it all to yourself.. if the wife tries to have a drink she is gonna get dagger looks from everyone around.. pregnant and drinking!

  23. Simon

    So the choice is?

    You can either have it dispensing warm beer served at body temperature, or chilled beer and chapel hat pegs.

    Uh, huh, I think i have made my choice...

  24. Marvin the Martian
    Thumb Up


    Now finally you *can* go out crossdressing while still drinking warm ale like a real man. Bless this scept'red isle.

  25. Phil Standen

    Cocktail Cod Peice?

    ... I have nothing more to add.

  26. Adrian Jackson

    @ Mike Flugennock

    So start on the *indecent* ones, then.

    Mine's the one with the [censored] [censored] [censored, illegal, and probably physically impossible]

  27. Steven Raith

    @Kain Preacher - youtube

    "I would love to see a guy give this to his wife/GF and film the results"

    Watch out for the Extreme Porn laws - it would probably end up as a snuff film.

    Steven R

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    alternative content

    obviously, go for red wine... absolutely perfect at room/body temperature and considerably more difficult to mistake for urine.

  29. Alice Andretti

    Deflecting suspicion

    David Wiernicki wrote: "Presumably your wife knows you read The Reg if she reads it. Therefore, if she's reading THIS, do you think she'll think that poster is referring to some OTHER huge-busted Melanie with a birthday coming up? Hmm..."

    Surely, such detailed info is intentionally inaccurate and is provided merely to divert suspicion :)

  30. Anonymous Coward

    Titty bars!!!

    (ahem) now as I was going to say...

    kain preacher wrote: "I would love to see a guy give this to his wife/GF and film the results"

    To which Steven Raith replied: "Watch out for the Extreme Porn laws - it would probably end up as a snuff film."

    Hee! Yeah, possibly right up there with vacuum cleaners as anniversary presents (as wife looks daggers at husband and kills him with her glare). Although personally, as a lady, I value practical useful things far more than things that sit on a shelf and have to be dusted, but that's just me... actually I'd prefer hard-to-find tools (no, not *that* kind) or some useful new software rather than a vacuum cleaner, though :)

    Anyway it sounds like something that ought to be popular with the college kids, to sneak booze into places.

    I would feel quite averse to sampling from some *other* lady's rack, er I mean booze bra, though... it would just be... weird! 'Cause, you know, I don't swing that way (being hypothetical here, as I don't drink booze anymore either, but I'm just thinking it through). It would be like that date I was on once, well not really, but this involved weird bras too, when the guy, a good-looking man with all the normal manly equipment, comes out of his kitchen wearing a lovely little summer dress (WTF?!) and asks me if I want to squeeze his "realistic-feeling" (so he said) fake boobs. I considered it, thinking maybe I was missing out on something cool, but frankly (ooh, no pun intended) it would have been a little weird. So, for booze bras, I'd have to bring my own :)

    Now, back to our regularly scheduled bras, I mean bars, I mean programming ;)

    Linux angle? Oh hell I dunno. Why not!

  31. Chris Sutton

    is this really what it was originally intended for....?

    I mean I bet the distributors took this product - that is probably an actual womens aid from Canada or somewhere - and said:

    "lets just rebrand it for alcohol and sell it in the UK...they're bound to buy it!"

  32. adrian

    red wine???

    i hear red wine is best served warm this product seems ideal

    for keeping T-it warm

  33. Rick Berry

    Warm Beer?

    I thought you Brits liked your beer warm.. Oh wait, that's because Lucas makes your refrigerators ;)

  34. Herby

    Somebody lost an important fact

    These are the "new improved" Bulgarian Airbags. I'm surprised nobody has thought of this. Of course, they aren't filled with air in this case, but it is close.

    The biggest problem: Body temperature Booze. Bummer!!

  35. Simpson



  36. Alex Barwell


    Beer jugs!!! Not so good for lager drinkers as it would end up flatter and warmer than the love-interest in question. Terrible scenario though if the link to the other half got blocked/crimped then you've got a serious imbalance that might need re-adjusting manually. BTW Rick, most of our fridges probably come from china or korea now. The student trick of keeping milk cool in digs by hanging it out the window best not translated to this creation...

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Upgrade to the Deluxe model

    For only £10 ($20/€13.50) more, kinky customers can upgrade to the Deluxe model which contains a special Guaranteed Leakproof Valve (TM) where the booze can be sampled from an anatomically-correct nipple area instead of having to fuss with tubes and such.

  38. b166er

    Does my bomb look big in this

    Somehow that reminded me of Withnail & I (Instructions are enclo-zed)

  39. rick buck
    Paris Hilton

    MMMMM...Warm Brandy!!!!




    Paris...could use this enhancement, and pass the bouncer...

    well maybe not at the airport...but it would be interesting

    to see it (and I know eventually it will) happen!!!!

  40. archie lukas

    Spritzer surprise

    My wife likes a wine spritizer

    Quite fun to open the tap after a bit of boobie shaking on the dance floor.

    (Co2 build up for the uninitiated)

  41. Diego A Puertas
    Jobs Horns

    Frank Zappa's dream

    has come true...

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