back to article Reg server and chip hack molested by Gray Lady

Lady and gentlemen, My time at the blessed Register has come to an end. As of this Friday, I'm off to The New York Times to bring the wonders of AIX, the vi editor, transactional memory, RAID 6 and FPGAs to the washed masses. Go figure. I've hung around with Brits long enough to know that compliments are largely verboten. So …


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  1. Paddy Newman


    laters..have fun...if poss!

  2. Ferry Boat

    Oh dear...

    First Otto now Ashlee.

    Rats, sinking ships, anyone?

    Cheers anyway.

  3. Ashlee Vance (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Oh dear...

    In fairness, Otto and I had agreed to leave together a long time ago. Can't get into our relationship here, but we're closer than sisters.

  4. Alan Donaly

    Later Ashlee

    Thanks for the good work you did on El Reg it won't be the same without you.

  5. Solomon Grundy


    I guess fewer of my comments will get censored now :)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Have a good one

    Be sure to drink heavily and pass out in a gutter as a last day at the office stunt.


  7. Steven Raith
    Thumb Up

    Otto Vs Ashlee

    Has anyone ever seen them in the same room at the same time?

    Good luck Mr Vance, enjoy working for a 'respectable' publication for a change!

    Steven R

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Semi Coherent Computing

    I thoroughly enjoyed your semi coherent computing podcasts (what turns an interview in mp3 format into a podcast is beyond me, but I enjoyed them none the less). I especially appreciated your interview on Zelenograd.

    Good luck with the washed unhuddled rich masses ;o)

  9. Edwin
    Dead Vulture

    Gosh... mean the Times was willing to take you on despite your irreverence and cheeky reporting for a cheeky rag like El Reg?

    Or were you somewhat less than forthcoming in your CV?

    Either way, I imagine you'll liven up the Times considerably.

    Please let us know when you post something suitable for flame wars (vi vs. emacs, iPhones, Windows, {free/pay/i}tards - we'll come and pollute the site.



  10. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    Ashlee ... nooo!!!

    You know where you are going!! If the new (Ed) comes in and says he has this super-duper-scoop about weapons-grade enriched uranium with an Al Qaeda return address found under a Mullah's apartment in downtown Tehran and wouldn't you want to give the IT angle on that...

    Just refuse!

    Otherwise, good neo-conning!

    And stay away from that Markoff dude. I hear he's unsavory and will burn hackers just to get front page.

    Obviously - coat.

  11. Ashlee Vance (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Comments

    Oh, Solomon. How I will miss you.

    Sadly, my leaving won't make you any less angry.

  12. Nick Palmer
    Dead Vulture


    ...don't leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeave us *riffles through old Reg stories* AHA! A cunning plan! - let's see how the Gray Lady likes that story about you, the goat and the Peruvian midget, eh...? Dead avian, cause it will be before long at this rate...

  13. Gareth


    Cor blimey.. Best of british luck in the Windy Big Smokey Apple, Ash.

  14. Duncan Hothersall

    Wait a minute

    Did we ever establish whether you are a man or a woman? I MUSS NO!

    Best of luck in your new career.

  15. Stephen Thair

    Laddee Boy... and your sister is hot!

    Shame you are leaving Ash... the "Is Ashlee Vance a Lady boy" poll was one of my favourite... and your sister in that family group photo looked very cute, too :-)

  16. Dave Murray
    Dead Vulture

    So long...

    .. and thanks for all the fish!

    You'll be missed Ashlee. I might have to start reading the NYT online now.

  17. Dunstan Vavasour


    That means we'll have to break in a new one.

  18. Jeroen Braamhaar

    Good fortune wherever your desk may be!

    As the title says - and never stop being critical & cutting though the hot air blown around!!

    Coat icon, because, what's a reporter without a coat ?

  19. NoCo37

    There are some problems with your comment. A title is required.


    Best of luck to you. I've had some fun times reading your work here at elReg.

    One of my favorite memories has to be the good ol' Ashlee Vance readers poll.


    "First up, gender: is Ashlee Vance male or female or ladyboy?

    The answer is, of course, ladyboy, the option which captured 43 per cent of votes cast...."

    You'll be missed around here.

  20. Mike Moyle
    Thumb Up

    So long and hello

    Will your stuff be showing up in the NYT's "Circuits" newsletter? If so, I won't be going into Vance-withdrawal.

    Best of luck to you.

    Re: Have a good one

    "Be sure to drink heavily and pass out in a gutter as a last day at the office stunt."

    And send pictures, or it didn't happen!

  21. Alan Watson

    Out of the frying pan

    Have fun. I have full confidence that your new readers will continue our tradition of snippy comments!

  22. Marvin the Martian
    Thumb Up

    And good riddance!

    ... that is, if this means I get to read mr. Vance's articles instead of bleeding David "Oooh -- it's all so lovely and fine and dandy" Pogues' so-called tech pieces in the International Herald Tribune.

    I'm too excited now to look up now if said poguething is from NYT. Let's have a liedown.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    And Otto, and You as well?!?! that sucks. this magazine is going to the dogs, and it is all NuLab's fault. I'm emigrating! to some other place! will the last one to leave turn off the lights!

  24. pctechxp

    All the best

    Looks like I'll have to frequent the NY times website now too.

    Thanks for some great articles man, all the best.

    @Dave Murray, for that Hitchhiker's Guide reference I salute you.

  25. pctechxp


    Could Otto be Ashlee's alter ego?

    Maybe Ashlee is a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde character.

  26. Jose Ramirez

    Oakland Raiders

    They were in L.A. for a few years...then they came back to Oakland...their homecoming bumper stickers: We're Back...L.A. Sucked

    Mr. will be back. Oh will be back.

  27. jens moewes

    customer care

    thanks for sending the mungers world wisdom pdf - inspiring read!!!! good luck!

  28. Daniel Silver badge

    Oh well ...

    Some things in life are bad,

    They can really make you mad,

    Other things just make you swear and curse,

    When you're chewing life's gristle,

    Don't grumble,

    Give a whistle

    And this'll help things turn out for the best.


    Always look on the bright side of life.


    Always look on the light side of life.


    If life seems jolly rotten,

    There's something you've forgotten,

    And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

    When you're feeling in the dumps,

    Don't be silly chumps.

    Just purse your lips and whistle.

    That's the thing.


    Always look on the bright side of life.


    Always look on the right side of life,


    For life is quite absurd

    And death's the final word.

    You must always face the curtain with a bow.

    Forget about your sin.

    Give the audience a grin.

    Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.


    Always look on the bright side of death,


    Just before you draw your terminal breath.


    Life's a piece of shit,

    When you look at it.

    Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.

    You'll see it's all a show.

    Keep 'em laughing as you go.

    Just remember that the last laugh is on you.


    Always look on the bright side of life.

    Always look on the right side of life.


    Always look on the bright side of life!


    Repeat to fade...

    So long Ashlee, it's been grand.

  29. tom


    *wave* We'll miss you, and good luck.

  30. Anonymous Coward

    Cheers Ashlee

    I trust I'm not alone in wishing you every success in your new endeavour. Thanks for the words.

  31. Law
    Dead Vulture

    dark times indeed

    Good look over there.... since you will be my only inside man, can you tell their webmasters to stop that annoying script that pops open the dictionary whenever you double click a word.... its highly stressful!! :)

    Dead vulture... another one bites the dust... sniff

  32. SysKoll

    You'll be back, I tell you.

    Oh, so you're leaving, eh? Think you can get rid of us, eh? Well, think again! At the rate the NYT is going down, you'll be back begging for the old El Reg job in a few years!

    Gray Lady my *ss. Gray brontosaurus is more like it.

  33. trackSuit

    Grey Day / First Class Journalism in Transit? Handle with Care.

    Farewell Ashlee, make your own good luck and share the fun.

    .... "the wonders of AIX, the vi editor, transactional memory, RAID 6 and FPGAs to the washed masses. Go figure."

    That should make the CAT5 purr, Ashlee -They'll love IT.

    PS. Don't forget to burn a copy of the Reg Server Log onto a 'password-encrypted' DVD before you go; might come in handy. -Oh, and burn a couple of xxxxtra disks -one to leave on the train on your way to the airport and one for the commercial espionage phishermen at the border. :-D

  34. Law
    Paris Hilton

    RE: dark times indeed

    and remember not to drink and post.... you might just do something stupid, like type look instead of luck!! *slaps head*...

  35. Jim Ed

    Jim Ed

    Your leaving?

    Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

    Say it ain't so.

    I could tell when it was your article without looking at the name. You got style, man.

    SCC and open season were so enjoyable. You always were up and with the people you were talking to. Superior performance.



    OK, OK. I'm going to be OK now. I'm sorry I said that.

    All the best, man. All the best of everything.

    Whoops, gotta go. Bronco says the spotted owl wings are ready.

  36. CTG
    Paris Hilton

    You'll be missed

    All the best Ashlee. I hope El Reg will employ more ladyboys in the future.

  37. Peter Lawler
    Paris Hilton


    Cya Ash, thanks for the lols even if you do suck. Give the Ochs-Sulzberger's some hell!

    Paris, 'coz she sucks too.

  38. Adam Williamson
    IT Angle

    @AC 15:19

    "Be sure to drink heavily and pass out in a gutter as a last day at the office stunt." would anyone be able to tell that from a normal day at El Reg?

  39. Steve

    Good luck Ashlee

    And thanks also for 'geek silicon valley', I've got some new places to visit on my next trip :)

  40. Alex Cooper

    Good luck!

    Have a great time Ashlee i'll check out the new place for your ramblings now and then!

    Coat? (big) Apple? IT Journo? Must be a Hackintosh........

  41. Dai Kiwi

    "[H]e's leaving home..."

    "Can't get into our relationship here, but we're closer than sisters."

    To borrow a phrase from the old days of usenet: GIF! GIF! GIF!

    Or maybe not. Anyway, good luck with the new gig.

  42. Nick Pettefar

    Good Luck!

    Hope the game plan works out.

    Look forward to reading your future output.


  43. Smallbrainfield
    Thumb Up

    Good luck in your new job

    Hope you sort the gender issues out.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    A nod of the head, tilt of the at, pat on the shoulder, and good 'ole southern-style slap on the butt in recognition of a fine job.

    I've enjoyed many installments of "semi-coherent...", and I've made a point of following your article threads.

    Go if you must, but go with my deepest respects.

  45. Terrance Brennan

    See you on the other side

    As a reader of both El Reg and the New York times I look forward to seeing your new work and compare it to what you did here. When can I expect to see your byline in The Times?

  46. Ashlee Vance (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: See you on the other side

    I start on Sept. 2, mate. So, guess it depends on fast I type.

  47. Paul
    Paris Hilton

    sad to see you go

    good luck!

    paris - because it looks like she's sad.

  48. Daniel
    Thumb Up

    tobe honest

    I never much read who wrote what. Were you one of the funny ones? Did you master in playmobile sculpture? If so, we'll miss you. If not, well, tough.

    No doubt you will make lots and lots of wonga in the apple, but don't forget that the dollar ranks slightly lower than the lira now, so you'll never be able to return to blighty. I hope they deck the times out with a whole page full of swanky icons for your arrival.

    And BTW if you are the 4th ladyboy from the left, U R hottt.

  49. Gordon Grant
    Thumb Up

    Who's gonna keep them in check now...

    Ash who's gonna keep all these reprobaits in line now?

    Oh and if the BOFH gave you a leaving gift, I'd have it checked over if I was you, mind you it might just be one of his patented "Cattle prods" for those boring days at NYT..

    Smoke me a kipper skipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

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