back to article Satnav turtle locates cannabis stash

A turtle with a GPS tracker attached to its shell has accidentally stumbled across a teenager’s secret horde of cannabis plants. GPS_turtle_SMALL The turtle's satnav signal led police to a secret pot stash According to a report by local US news service WUSA, “Jimmy the Turtle” was being tracked by GPS for “research …

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  1. Avi
    Happy

    Pothead turtle?

    Or is this some undocumented ability of all turtles - that of detecting pot from afar?

    And aren't turtles normally water-dwelling?

  2. Paul Stephenson

    Turtle?

    Don't they swim in the sea?

    Looks like a Tortoise to me.

  3. Mike Fortey
    Alert

    Definition of 'field'

    "the middle of a covert marijuana field."

    "suspicion of growing ten cannabis plants."

    Since when did ten plants equate to a field?

    I clearly must have fields full of roquet plants in my window box!

  4. Marvin the Martian
    Black Helicopters

    Efficient?

    Friggin' turtles always messing up my fees-paying plantation...!

    Well, given that this is the first turtle who once in its life passed through some plants, and there seems to be no correlation between cannabis plants and turtle walking patterns --- nothing to be dug up online --- isn't it more effective to let the rangers randomly walk through the habitat? But apparently there are enormous numbers of cannabis plantations on national parks and BLM grounds, with very little to link it to any specific criminal; given good climate, just sow and go harvest before someone else finds it.

    OK, sometimes you get shootouts (with freeloading harvesters) and dead rangers because of this, so bullet-proof turtles might be the way to go.

  5. Wize
    Coat

    Got the munchies now?

    Maybe the reporter helped with the stash before identifying the shelled animal.

    Mines the hard one.

  6. Eddie Edwards
    Heart

    Teenage Mutant Ganja Turtles

    I can see it catching on.

  7. Anon Koward
    Black Helicopters

    Kill all turtles!

    The various governments are obviously now utilising other members from the animal kingdom and turning them for their own nefarious uses.

    Nothing else for it, all turtles must die*

    *Ok that may be a bit extreme but hey what’s the alternative no more pot???? no arrrrggghhh no!

  8. David Cornes

    Really??

    "he probably never counted on a turtle with a tracking device leading us to that location and finding the field".

    Statement of the bleeding obvious methinks! Unless they have some pretty damn comprehensive scenario training at the secret-dope-growers boot camp...

  9. The Other Steve
    Coat

    Probably not in first with...

    "...but he probably never counted on a turtle with a tracking device leading us to that location and finding the field,”

    _NOBODY_ expects the turtle with a tracking device! Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pot.

  10. grom
    Joke

    Chevy Chase?

    Never mind the turtle, how come Chevy chase wasn't arrested if he was so close nearby?

  11. Lewis Wernham

    Tortoise vs Turtle

    From Wikipedia:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tortoise

    Although the word "turtle" is widely used to describe all members of the order Testudines, it is also common to see certain members described as terrapins, tortoises or sea turtles as well. Precisely how these alternative names are used, if at all, depends on the type of English being used.

    * British English normally describes these reptiles as turtles if they live in the sea; terrapins if they live in fresh or brackish water; or tortoises if they live on land. However, there are exceptions to this where American or Australian common names are in wide use, as with the Fly River turtle.

    * American English tends to use the word turtle for all species regardless of habitat, although tortoise may be used as a more precise term for any land-dwelling species. Oceanic species may be more specifically referred to as sea turtles. The name "terrapin" is strictly reserved for the brackish water diamondback terrapin, Malaclemys terrapin; the word terrapin in this case being derived from the Algonquian word for this animal.[1]

    * Australian English uses turtle for both the marine and freshwater species but tortoise for the terrestrial species.

  12. stu

    turtles

    americans dont know the difference between turtles and tortoises.

    Admittedly this is not helped by one of their most common tortioses actually being called a turtle.

    Blade Runner quote 'picture a tortoise lying on its back in the backing sun.'

    leon: "what is a tortoise?".. etc, etc

  13. gadgerama
    Coat

    He'd have made it ...

    ... if it hadn't been for that pesky turtle!

    Mine's the one filled with Scooby Snacks

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tortoise vs Turtle

    So terrapin is a merkin word and they are to friggin lazy to use it... says a lot.

    anyway my questions is how long did they stake out 10 pot plants to catch the Kid? and how did they prove that he was responsible? was he carrying a watering can?

  15. David Perry
    Happy

    Wonder if

    The cops said COWABUNGAAAAAA when they found it. Use to love the tv series when I was a young un

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    If the Turtle is networked....

    Can you give it instructions with LOGO ?

  17. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Anonymous Coward

    oddly appropriate

    The athletic teams of the University of Maryland (located within 10 miles Rock Creek Park) are known as the Terrapins. In the Washington area one frequently sees UMd "Fear the Turtle" tee shirts depicting a muscled-up terrapin.

  18. Elmer Phud
    Unhappy

    Sensi-Nav

    It's unlikely that much (if any) of the park weed would produce a quality product. Removing 'cooking' weed from the local stash will just ensure the need to go to dealers thus draining the resources of students and at the same time encouraging the criminal side of supply.

  19. MrM
    Thumb Up

    @ Eddie Edwards

    If you dont pen a script for that then im going to!

  20. Phillistine
    Black Helicopters

    WMD Angle

    So, how about letting some of these loose in Iraq so that we can finally find some WMD ?

    OTOH, considering the excessive Ganja Patrol in the US, would it probably be accused of being WMD ?

  21. Albert Waltien
    Alien

    Tortoise vs Turtle

    Ogden Nash wrote some words to accompany Sainte-Saens "Carnival of the Animals" which included this:

    Come, crown my brow with leaves of myrtle;

    I know the tortoise is a turtle!

  22. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Coat

    Wouldn't most Australians call any turtle/tortoise...

    bush tucker?

  23. Paul

    "Chevy Chase"

    Are you taking the pi$$?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    we need pictures

    Preferably the playschool takedown of the weed grower. thanks

  25. Solomon Grundy
    Linux

    @Sensi-Nav and Turtles

    Park grown weed can be very good. If you're in the U.S. I'll be good money that quite a bit of stuff you've smoked was grown in park/BLM land. I was involved in a GIS project with NPS once and one of the layers was for "illegally cultivated pharmaceuticals" - it's a big, big issue since it's almost impossible to find except by accident - or turtle.

    I'm not sure why people would think that the turtle "found" the pot... He's a flippin' turtle. He just walked into it and the ranger got lucky.

    That'd be the the thing to do though. Sell GPS equipped turtles to the NPS, NFS, & BLM. I bet we could get $8k each out of them to search for "illegally cultivated pharmaceuticals".

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    " [ ... ] walked – albeit slowly - into the middle of a covert marijuana field [ ... ]"

    And probably was getting slower and slower the further it went!

  27. Kanhef
    Dead Vulture

    Slow

    This happened three weeks ago. The Reg seems to be slacking off this week.

  28. J-Wick

    Must have been Testudo...Go Terps :)

    TMGT ftw, btw...!

    :)

  29. Stan P

    University of California, Los Angeles!

    it is not University college of LA!!!! It is University of California LA.

    Get it right! Stop smoking that much, dude!

  30. RW
    Boffin

    @ Stan P

    Oh, cut the limeys some slack. They're always hopeless about getting the names of things Murrican right, and it's mean, cruel, and heartless to expect them to clean their act up now.

    But just in case, here's a crib sheet for those limeys who wish to try to improve their diction:

    Most of the American states have a university called "University of <state name>". Many have another institution called "<state name> State University." Examples: University of Oregon and Oregon State University. Exception: State University of New York.

    In addition, there are endless independent universities with a variety of names: University of Rochester, Rockefeller University, etc.

    Generally "university" in the US means an institution offering graduate degrees typically leading to a PhD, whereas a "college" means a four-year institution offering only undergraduate (bachelor) degrees. Some colleges offer master's degrees as well.

    Among the state institutions, many have multiple campuses and the location is used as part of the name. Thus you have UCLA meaning "University of California at Los Angeles", SUNY Potsdam for "State University of New York at Potsdam", and so on.

    In some cases, the undergraduate division of a university is called "college". Yale University includes Yale College, Harvard University includes Harvard College.

    Any general rule is guaranteed to have exceptions. Reference to an institution's web site is the easiest way to find out what they call themselves.

  31. Neoc
    Coat

    Isn't this a case...

    ...of the pot calling the turtle back?

    I'll get me coat.

  32. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    So that's why...

    ...they walk so slowly.

  33. rick buck
    Flame

    tort

    ...and of course Americans know the difference between a turtle and a tortoise...the tortoise is the one with the tortoise shell...

    Long Live "The Teenage Ganga Turtles"...

    ...and who brought the Fritos?...I've got the munchies!

    Flaming...'cause "where there's smoke, you had to have fire!

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    tort-2

    maybe "The Teenage Ganga Turtles"...

    should read ""The Teenage Ganja Turtles"...

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