back to article Michael Dell mulls 'Newcastle Utd investment'

Here's an odd one, from the sports pages of yesterday's Daily Telegraph (can't find a link online, sorry). Citing reports, the paper says Michael Dell is mulling an investment in Newcastle United, the Premier League football club. Indeed the Texan tycoon is "thought to be due to meet Newcastle's billionaire owner, Mike Ashley …


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  1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    All part of streamlining the business

    .... as a cheap source of product bar codes!

    All this money is ruining the game: FCUM!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Isn't Newcastle one of those nothern towns thats beyond redemption and should immediatly evacuated, all its residents beings sent to Oxford ?

    In this case wouldn't Mr Dell be better placed sponsoring Oxford United.

  3. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Tyneside.... where Men are DNA Forged in dDeep Pits and Pansies are Flowers

    "And if we are wrong? We shall then cheerfully concede that one should never underestimate a bazillionaire's vanity."

    And Wwwonderful in Sanity, DC. One may also be Tempted to say QuITe Perfect for El Reg Disciples.

    Bravo, Monsieur Dell, ....... and you can look forward to being Completely Baffled by the Geordie Lingo but that is Acquired Taste in AIDelicacy which ESPecial Newcastle Bottle can dDeliver to Order for Journeys into Space. ......... [:-) for Fond Memories that you may never Remember 424Get such is the Potent Legacy of the Trips]

    And the best move ever so far that an In Sane bazillionaire could vainly underestimate.

  4. Graham Robinson


    Does that mean that Newcastle fans will end up in Southampton by typing 'The Dell' into their sat navs?

  5. Martin

    Oh dear....

    Mike Ashley looks bad enough in a stripey football shirt - but Michael Dell....!!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This isn't going to work.

    I mean, one promises to deliver sublime performance in a box, and then misses the target, whilst the other... oh! Actually, sounds like a match made in heaven!

    ps. @Graham Robinson. Sadly The Dell is no longer there. And anyway, it's not that far to Southampton from Exeter...

  7. Cormie

    Mr. Dell and Newcastle

    Does that mean that they will try to move the team to Bangalore?

  8. Martin


    "Does that mean that they will try to move the team to Bangalore?"

    No, no - just the support.

  9. iannufc
    Thumb Up

    Beyond redemption??

    I think you'll find that was Sunderland, mate. It doesn't even compare to Newcastle as a city.

    Not sure about Michael Dell, money maybe, but probably a load of slaver like the weekly takeover exclusives in that NOTW scum every Sunday.

    Mind you, I'd rather have Dell as sponsors that Northern Rock. I could live with that.

    Up the toon, and up the iPhone.

  10. TomatoQueen
    Thumb Up

    Howayyyyyyy the Lads!

    If Michael Dell has succeeded in selling mid-table mediocrity to the masses (and he has, as well as on the enterprise level), then he's an appropriate investor for us, and Mr Ashley once again is as good as his word.

    I'm away support and I'm NOT moving to Bangalore, unless there's free transport for away fans...

    TOON TOON Black N White Army!

    Thumbs up, cos I LOVE IT!

  11. keith

    the toon

    ah yes newcastle united i live in newcastle and yes im a toon fan and im proud of it id say yes get mr dell in northern rock is going down hill and also it would be nice to see a different logo and change

  12. J-Wick

    Newcastle & Oxford...

    Please keep them away from Oxford. I'm sure they'd do much better in Cambridge...

  13. John

    what if it was Steve Jobs

    then if the fans fell out with the owner they could chant "who's the bastard in the black [turtleneck]"

  14. Anonymous Coward

    @Graham R

    There are actually about half a dozen flights daily between NCL and Soton. Unfortunately both operators run their flights at the same time.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle


    football [yawn!] how interezzzzzzting...!

  16. Martin Nicholls

    Tens of millions?

    "Newcastle needs many tens of million of pounds to take a real shot at Man Utd and Chelsea"

    They need that just to avoid relegation tbh, hundreds of millions to play catch up. Look how much Chelski spent in that first year and they still fail - and they started with a top-5 team.

    Mines the one that looks like a zebra.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Michael Dell is obviously a very astute

    investor. Today, the Magpies held MANUTD to a draw at Old Trafford.

    And that was without Viduka & Owen

    Howay the lads.

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