back to article BOFH: Smash + grab

The long-awaited weekend has almost arrived! The migration of the server room to the new site and the transfer of our 'crucial' services to the successful tendering party (ie our ghost facility) is about to commence. "But I still don't see why we need to pay a data transfer fee!" the Boss whinges. "Because they'll need to put …


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  1. Robert Biebricher
    Thumb Up

    Extort a bastard....

    surest way to a nasty accident and loooong time in hospital.

  2. Daniel


    This gives me an idea!

  3. Mark Cooper

    WOT - No <Kzert!>?

    Has the PFY's 'circuit tester' been confiscated again?

    Mines the one with spare batteries in the pocket.

  4. Dr. Mouse


    Says it all...

    (as does the coffee currently spreading across my desk. Mantal note: do not consume beverages or food while reading BOFH)

  5. Nic Brough
    Thumb Up

    A good Friday lunchtime laugh, as usual.

    Note to self: When "relocating" servers, I must make sure the marks in the plaster match "what happened"...

  6. Andrew Barr

    Life Insurance

    I hope that the Insurance guy was up to date with his life insurance payments :D

  7. Anonymous Coward


    If it were me (not that I would of course), I would have actually loaded up the trolley with all that crap and knocked a castor off it on the stairs - that way the marks would match "what happened"

    Of course, if there happened to be a passing middle-management type at the bottom of the stairs, all the better.

    And surely the CRTs would still be charged and the cases procariously cracked when the insurance bod came to inspect???

    Still enjoyed it though... it's a real friday now!

  8. Oli

    Lightening Friday Lunch Times since 195x

    Bless the BOFH lightening my stress level once again.

    Would be horrific is the boss's "inpenetrable" safe suffered a similar fate. Moving office is such a fun time!

  9. wim

    tragic accident ?

    I thought it was going to be

    there has been a terrible accident

    good show made my friday a lot better than it was.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Happiness... the demise of people that screw with the BOFH...happy days...

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Typical insurance guy

    Try to screw the customer over - glad the PFY showed him the error of his ways :D

    Mines the one with padding and crash helmet.

  12. James Monnett


    Outstanding...... I only hope to someday be half as twisted.


  13. Si Lo
    Thumb Up


    The ending was just the icing on the cake, now BOFH has been read - pub anyone?

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Can't beat it =)

    So, how illegal would it be to make a youtube series based on BOFH? =D Masochists and broken hardware required!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Someone gave it a go once... I believe it was called "Salmon Days".

    Incidentally, is it really extortion when the payee is the one to initially float the suggestion of an illicit payment? I guess one man's extortion is another's being a tough negotiator...

  16. Disco-Legend-Zeke

    Hmmm... no! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. no! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...NO!

    So i have these two brand new, in the box Enterprise routers.

    Top of the line stuff. Original price $48,000 each. (These were once the proud posession of AT&T for some never-built data center.)

    But, darn it, i am in a one story building, no opportunity for gravity to get ahold of it. Unless somehow the trolly rolled out into the stree...

    *Screech* *Bang* *krump* *tinkle* *tinkle*

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Classic BOFH! The only thing missing was a good ol' fashioned <kzzzrt>!

  18. Daniel B.

    @BOFH on YouTube

    Someone actually did it, it was called "Salmon Days", and predates YouTube. I think it didn't quite make it, though ... I only remember watching the first episode. In fact, this is the thing:

    They did a second episode, and then I lost track of it. I think it didn't survive.

  19. Dennis

    Re: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...NO!

    "Unless somehow the trolly rolled out into the stree..."

    And don't tell me .... the lorry swerved to avoid the trolly and that other pile of metal is the new Ferrari you took delivery of this morning.

  20. Andy Taylor
    Thumb Up

    Salmon Days

    Salmon Days was a Register production - if you search the archives you'll find the various articles from early 2002.

    I think I have all of the videos somewhere.

    This one made it to You Tube (NSFW warning, seriously)

    The Fax Wizard, and real live clippy are absolute gems.

    Any chance of a re-release at a higher resolution?

  21. Anonymous Coward

    i'm disappointed

    That the PFY wasn't promptly on the scene to relieve said unfortunate accident victim of that large wad of loot...before the body is removed!

  22. Darren Radley

    It's given me an idea...

    After spending a day troubleshooting WINS on a crappy old NT4 network (yes, one of our customers still has it). I feel a move of equipment coming along at the datacentre.

    Mine's the one with castor in the pocket....

  23. John F***ing Stepp

    Made me loolk.

    That is so, so sad.

    Hey guys, entropy in action!

  24. KGIII

    Always a Joy, Simon. Thanks.

    I enjoy 'em all and when I get drunk and forget I can go back and re-read the old ones.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lack of Kzert...

    Totally agree with above poster,

    there should have been a Kzert.

  26. Jon Tocker

    @i'm disappointed

    There are some things that can be taken for granted and, as such, can be safely left unsaid. In this case, all we need know about is the accident, the rest goes without saying...

    @Robert Biebricher: "surest way to a nasty accident and loooong time in hospital."

    How long does one usually spend in the morgue before being trundled off for a dirt nap?

    The Insurance assessor should have studied Machiavelli - I'm sure the BOFH and the PFY could teach it at University level: "... the injury done to a man ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared."

    The Insurance bloke made the mistake of leaving a "wounded" PFY alive...

  27. Eric de Vet

    Another one

    Found another BOFH inspired video.

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