back to article Man buys $1,000 worth of iPhone pixels by accident

An American man has accidentally spent $999.99 on an iPhone app that does nothing but display a glowing red ruby. Dubbed "I Am Rich," the app is meant as a status symbol for the wealthy. But in reality, it's a scarlet letter for the gullible. As reported by our friends at Valleywag, a Jesus Phone user known only as Lee5279xx …


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  1. Kev K
    Paris Hilton


    thats just iDumb

    Paris - well cos Ms Prez can afford it cant she

  2. thomas newton
    Paris Hilton

    ... what a twat.

    even Paris isnt that thick.

  3. Jerome
    Dead Vulture

    Yeah right

    This absolutely reeks of publicity stunt. That's two stories this dickwad has duped you into publishing, simply by drawing a little red sparkly thing. For shame people, for shame.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    pity on the slow

    of course he doesn't, he makes them by iphone/ipod/macs/other cheap made in china rubbish....

  5. Nordrick Framelhammer

    What a surprise

    IamaposerPhone - Check

    Overpriced rubbish from Apple - Check

    Reminder that clicking buttons have consequences disabled - Check

    Whining wank when his own actions trap his finacial dangly bits in a vice - Priceless

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    If someone really does get a grand's worth of value from the app then why should they not be allowed to buy it?

    Enough ego-polishers buy vanity plates (just a bunch of letters) and dick-extender cars which still get stuck in traffic just as badly as any rice rocket.

    So what's wrong with spending just a grand on some pixels?

    If some dumb fool buys vanity plates on a lark then decides he wants a refund should the whole vanity plate industry be stifled?

    Perhaps a wise solution would be for the iTunes 1-click to have a threshold and only work for purchases below, say, $20.

  7. Stan

    Darwin award

    How the hell do you comment on this? I mean there are things running around under my fridge with more brains than this guy, and then he goes on to blame the guy who wrote the app, apple, world+dog because it couldn't possibly be his fault, definitely worthy of a darwin nomination but not funny enough to deserve one. Still, it answers one nagging question, this is the guy they put "do not attempt to eat this item" notices on cars, TV's etc. for in the US

  8. Stefan



    There's nothing in this world more pitiable than a fool with money.

  9. ReUnpack

    that sucks

    Now pay up sucka!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    First accident

    Sounds like the first and biggest acciodent in this guys life was when the condom burst inside his mother!

    This application was removed when Apple needed the space on their app server for their latest offering, "I'm a dim itard!"

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Press play AND record, goddammit!

    Yeh, but he's not just stupid: he's also a victim of the worst most rubbishy piece of user-interface misdesign ever.

    Remember when there used to be cassette tapes? And you used to have to press PLAY and RECORD simultaneously before the mechanism would engage and start recording?

    And then some utter IDIOT went and thought to themselves "Oooh, press two buttons, that's a bit difficult, wouldn't it be so much easier if you only had to press one", and they went and invented one-touch record.

    And all of a sudden it became possible to record by accident. And any time you fumbled and hit the wrong button you ended up blasting a big silent gap over your music and it was really annoying.

    For god's sake! It's not an "annoying inconvenience", it's a "vital safety interlock that will save your ass time and again"! And some idiot thought we were better off without it, and as millions of ruined recordings down the years prove, we weren't. Not at all.

    Well, one-click anything is the same stupid dumb idea. "Oh, let's make it really easy to do something", when you don't WANT it to be that damn easy! It was a stupid idea when one-touch record was invented, it was a stupid idea when Win95 brought in Active Desktop with it's one-click-just-like-clicking-on-a-web-link[*] option and made it easy to accidentally launch an application when you didn't want to, and it's still a damn stupid idea now to make it possible to spend a grand with a single click.

    Err.. ok. Rant over. But it's still a lousy piece of UI.

    [*] - of course, then Internet Explorer went and made it so that clicking any random link on the web was pretty likely to result in you ending up executing a bunch of malicious applications anyway ....!

  12. David
    Gates Horns

    Did he get his money back?

    Come on Steve give the guy his money back. After all he did buy an iphone and was duped by sort of trusting in the Apple brand.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Good news for the developer though!

  14. Tammer Salem
    Thumb Up

    Only in the USA

    Kinda reminds of the guy who microwaved his wet dog to dry it off, and ended up suing the company after his pooch got nuked!

    This story does't quite rate that high on the stupid-o-meter ... But keep them coming! Certainly gives me a right old chuckle.

  15. vincent himpe
    Jobs Horns



    A classic case of an iDiot (pronunciation: eye-deeot)

  16. Michael Wolf

    Typical American...

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  17. Tim Spence
    Jobs Horns

    I see dead peop... no, err, both sides...

    ...while I agree this guy is stupid as hell, I also think it's a ridiculous application and devalues the AppStore's value as a serious application.

  18. adnim

    Doesn't work

    The "BUY APP" button on the image within the news item doesn't work when I click on it... Do I have to go to the Apple iPhone web site?

  19. Fozzy

    Natures laws at work again

    One can only hope that this guy does humanity a favour and either removes himself from the gene pool or least does not pass on his defective genes by breeding

  20. Erik Aamot

    arm in hein rich ! .. ummm ..

    doubt that's a real name, however, I'd suppose the fellow or gal makes a damn good living selling simple, useless, low cost bobbles to people with money to burn ..

    truly inspiring !

    i'm sure some saud prince, while on a nice $250,000 trout fishing trip would just love a set of ruby, emerald, saphire and diamond encrusted gold spinning lures to catch rich fat fish with ! :)

  21. Adrian Esdaile
    Jobs Horns

    Is there a virtual Darwin Award?


    Can we get a Darwin icon?

    mv ~fool/.money /dev/null

  22. Zmodem

    i dont

    have a electronic filofax nor a hair style out of a duran duran pop video

  23. john doe


    enough said

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    wanna buy an iBiosphere?

    for $100,000, I will personally hand deliver ones own iBiosphere for their iPhone. All sales final & NO refunds. It comes with all kinds of real and exotic flora, fauna, bugs, alligators, water, mud and more. Hurry as I only have a total of 10. Each one is completely unique

    Once payment has been received, I will personally deliver product to you and install it on your iPhone.

    Amaze your friends, amuse your family, own your own piece of nature that no one can take away from you, for as long as you own your phone.

    For an additional $50.00, I'll include one authentic 16 oz bottle of water, taken directly from the actual iBiosphere. (note: bottles are collected directly from the the site, so shape, colour and condition may vary slightly.

    (c) (r) (tm) and Patent Pending.

  25. NoCo37
    Black Helicopters


    So. if the app was removed by Apple for this, does the App Creator / Developer have any recourse against Apple? By getting the app posted on the iTunes Store, I'd think that the Developer would have had to follow all the rules and TOS.

    If the Developer has recourse against them, then I see it as a nice 3 part scam.

    1) Create overly priced app and get media attention.

    2) Wait for someone to buy it then go crying to Apple about it.

    3) When Apple removes the app, the Developer goes to their lawyers and get some cash from Apple for failing to hold up their side of the deal.

  26. Geoff Mackenzie

    70 in a 20, officer?

    I thought the police had a sense of humour.

    What an eejit.

  27. Ron Eve
    Paris Hilton

    Oh Perleeease!!

    @iTwat - Love it...

    Lets see...

    "Contents may be hot"

    "Objects may be closer than they appear"

    "Do not step on the live rail"

    Who are these aimed at? For the rest of us 'caveat emptor' and common sense seem to work.

    As for it being a scam that Apple is somehow responsible for - where's the scam? The ad didn't promise anything that it didn't deliver, so no 'phony' (geddit!) advertising. Shiny Shiny Bling Bling - "I want I want..."

    And Armin Heinrich is an anagram of "A Rich Inner Him"

    /Mines the one with 'Vote for Paris' on the back

  28. Andy


    It's long been my suspicion that Apple users are easily distracted.

    Their overarching obsession with glowing bouncing crystals in their UI is a good example.

    Seems to me to be a sound business principle to sell trinkets to magpies and I'm surprised that Apple took the App down. I mean isn't "ridiculously expensive" part of their marketing strategy?

  29. Duncan
    Jobs Halo

    horses for courses

    if your willing to shell out like a drugged lemming for all the normal over priced icrap that apple curns out who to say you wont go the extra yard and shell out for this and really enjoy it. one mans plastic tat is another mans innovation.

    Personally I commend this app if only all the proceeds we given to poor children in Africa it would be perfect!

  30. pctechxp


    Don't have one click enabled and don't EVER store your card details on file.

    Tip for this guy's card issuer: this guy hasn't got a clue what he's doing and may cause a credit crunch aftershock, take away his card or initiate more stringent fraud prevention checks, phone him after EVERY transaction and ask whether he meant to make the transaction or whether he clicked buy/swiped his card as a result of his lack of intelligence.

  31. Stef



    Eh? Where is the fake app and where is the scam?

  32. Frank
    Thumb Up

    @bws re. iBiosphere

    I'd be very interested in operating a franchise for this product. Can you make a larger number of cheaper and less 'unique' iBiospheres in order to access a larger market? I'd be willing to operate on commission only for a while if you aren't willing to sell me a franchise license.

  33. Matt Bradley
    Paris Hilton

    @thomas newton, @Nordrick Framelhammer, @Stefan, @various AC's, @nearly everybody

    It's unsympathetic attitidues like this when an ordinary user makes a simple mistake, which will guarantee that WWW continues to be a bold and free new frontier for theft.

    Until we start dealing properly with stuff like this (by shutting it down and pressing charges where possible), and stop blaming the user for being foolish enough to be defrauded, this kind of thing will proliferate.

    Well done Apple for removing this scammer from iTunes so quickly. Just like the iPhone's app blacklist, this demonstartes Apple's desire to protect their users (stupid or not!) from malware and scams. Perhaps if MS had had a similar attitude 10 years ago, we might not be dealing with so many spams and scams right now?

    PH, 'cos she's probably more sympathetic that you lot.

  34. Anonymous Coward

    Re: Press play AND record, goddammit!

    Man... you've been holding that in *way* too long!

  35. aL


    that appdeveloper is a genius.. :P thats exactly the kind of stuff people buy.. "look my Jphone glows, i can be 47% snootier than you"

    the real wtf is that ITunes doesnt verify that you want to buy something (or that such a warning can be turned off) now thats just praying on the clumsyness of your users to trick them to buy stuff.. what is your kid or cat or whatever mashes the keyboard? suddenly youve bought a bunch of stuff by mistake..

    user unfriendlyness to improve sales? i think so..

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    @john doe

    iTwat - brilliant

    My vote goes that should be entered into the El Reg dictionary and forever used to describe those idiots that think they are so cool because they buy overpriced Apple crap and feel that ownership of such an item conveys a small portion of the Jobs God complex entitling them to be really smug and try and point out how inferior us non-apple users are.

  37. Ascylto
    Jobs Halo

    St Stevie

    "Steve Jobs doesn't have a sense of humor. But he does take pity on the slow."

    See ... somebody loves Cade Metz!

  38. Sooty

    to be slightly fairer to the guy

    It would be very easy to buy something by clicking accidentally, ok he's a bit stupid for clicking on buy just to see what happened, and was then surprised when he bought it...

    But I was absolutely amazed the first time i bought an iphone app and got no confirmation whatsoever, especially since it asks for my password if i get even a free app through my phone app store.

    Up to that point i had only got free apps, so hadn't really thought about it. (although the reciept a few days later with "thank you for buying" and a massive list of apps on it caused a moment of panic) The 1click is ether enabled by default or has a tick to never see this message again box on a popup confirmation message that enables it.

    At the very least, i would expect you to have to key in your password to buy something, you know, basic security! Anyone with kids needs to keep them well away. The description of 1click in the options just says it doesn't use a shopping basket style ordering system, not that it removes all sanity checking before charging you! I'd expect click buy, enter password, hit enter, for 1click ordering at the very least.

  39. James Bassett
    Thumb Up

    Which is worse....

    Which is worse? The fact that he was so stupid he actually bought it or the fact that he isn't even embarassed enough to shut the fuck up and deny everything?

    Although all the other one-click purchase thingies I've seen do have a 60 minute (or so) delay on them so you can undo it if you realise you've been a total retard. Though that explains why it isn't a feature on iTunes. No need to stop and figure out if the user might be a total retard.

  40. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    So what if the app got pulled?

    Even with just that one sale the return on investment for the author must have broken all records!

  41. Léon

    @Adrian Esdaile

    If you're going to make an attempt at being geekish, please do it right and add a slash between ~ and the filename, else it won't work.

  42. Edward Rose


    Corporations spen millions on this sort of bling to put against their company slogan.

    I think it's damned good value for money.

  43. druck Silver badge
    Dead Vulture

    @Michael Duke

    Talking of retards, this is the umpteenth topic I've seen that comment on SATA discs posted to. Where is the moderatrix?

  44. Jared Earle
    Dead Vulture

    A copy sold?

    I'm not so sure this isn't a hoax reported as news.

    "Kinda reminds of the guy who microwaved his wet dog to dry it off, and ended up suing the company after his pooch got nuked!"

    Yes, but only in so far as it probably didn't happen.

    You have to actively turn off the stupid guard to make this happen as reported. The safeguards are all there to prevent accidental purchases but a determined fool can get past them.

  45. Dennis
    Paris Hilton

    Is this a subscription service?

    I wonder will the developer send him another crazy fun app next month and charge him another $1000.

    And then another

    And then another

    And then another

    Everyone is laughing at this guy. Not too many people were laughing when Crazy frog starting making inroads into their bank account??

    But then I guess we are all to smart to fall for that one.

    Paris because she would spend $1000 on a loser boyfriend to make her look good. Much the same as what has happened here

  46. Graham Davis

    Oh cr@p!

    I didn't mean to send this comment!

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Darwin award suggestions.

    Folks who are suggesting a Darwin Award.

    Please can you tell the rest of us un-enlightened folks exactly HOW buying an iPhone app for $999.99 has improved the gene pool by removing himself from it?

    Or do you mean there should be a new award created for an inability to take responsibility for one's own actions?

  48. Thomas Swann

    "A scarlet letter for the gullible"

    haha :)


  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Darwin awards

    I think that to get anything other than an honorary mention in the Darwin awards, you have to remove your potential to reproduce, so your genes are removed from the evolutionary pool.

    Now a Jesus Phone app designed to do that would be awesome, perhaps in the firmware so everyone that buys one instantly qualifies for said award, and hence helps to corroborate the great theory.

  50. twunt

    What a cretin....

    I have no sympathy for this cretin - he deserves to starve for this

    However it does highlight the lack of ANY quality control in the appstore.

    After just a couple of weeks we now have nearly 400 games - with probably about 20 that are worth playing. Please apple, lets get rid of the crap.

  51. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @Michael Duke

    I'm here. I just don't work 24 hours a day. A thousand apologies.

    Anyway, where's the beef?

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a joke?

    why would you buy a 1000 dollar joke? If i go into a store and see a high price item, i don't take it just cause i think its a joke?

    sjeez, it was bound to happen, some idiot buying this thing. But because its a whinging american, the world must pay attention to him. Maybe they could bomb the developer for this joke.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I set babies on fire.

    Apparently 8 people actually brought the damn thing. On purpose.

    Not bad for 5 minutes work.

    Also, is it me, or is everyone who submits a review on app store pretty much retarded?

  54. Mark

    What's the problem

    If you want to sell a crapp app for $999, then it's upto you. If you are stupid enough to buy the same app, then it's clearly YOUR problem.

    Get this app back up, as clearly iPhone owners clearly have more money than sense...

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns


    BTW, when is lent? can el Reg give up reporting ANYTHING to do with bloody Apple for a month? (or a year?) absolutely nothing Apple, not even blanking out the word in a news report. Steve Jobs isn't the new technological Jesus Christ, even though a lot of sheeple follow his every every action including his bowel movements with great interest...

  56. Mark
    Gates Horns

    @Matt Bradley

    Who are you (or anyone) to judge if that was worth it or not. It's not a scam at all, clearly the app is priced at $999, and it's bling. If you want it, buy it, if not walk on by...

    I say get the app back up ASAP.

  57. Markie Dussard
    Thumb Up

    Reminds me of ...

    ... a newspaper advert that was put in the Classifieds of various tabloids back in the late '80's.

    It advertised a booklet that would allow the purchaser to "Reduce Your Telephone Bill to £00.00!!!" (or some such stuff). For a fee (I think it was about £7.50) the recipient got a leaflet that explained in painful detail how to contact BT Customer Services and cease their line.

    Despite the protestations of consumer whinge-buckets like Rantzen and Faulds-Wood, the argument was cogently made that no law was broken, and each customer got exactly what was advertised. There was no scam. The illegal intent was actually in the mind of the customer who was operating on the assumption that they could defraud BT and get something for nothing. As they say - you can't con an honest man.

    As far as I see it, this is a similar situation (if it's not a hoax story in itself). The idiot who pressed the button got exactly what was advertised and paid the price that had been displayed. A dickhead and his money are soon parted.

  58. Paul C. Hartley

    You could see this one coming...

    "I saw this app with a few friends and we jokingly clicked 'buy,' thinking it was a joke, to see what would happen,"

    Dosn't the line "I wonder what happens when you press this button?" come just behind "you can not stop me now I am invincible!" and just before "after the war me and my sweetheart are going to buy a small cottage in the country with a white picket fence" and "dont worry, I think its harmless, look its smiling" in the all time top 10 list of things to say just before something really bad happens to you?

    Put the app back up there I say. It does exactly what it says on the tin. All kudos to the author.

    I work in IT and make a good living out of people who say "I wonder what this button does?" just before something really bad happens.

    Mines the red one with "Away Team - Security" written on the back.

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    He is an iTwat

    Here's what Urban Dictionary got to say:



    2 up, 1 downlove ithate it

    A person that is totally in love with their iPhone/iPod.

    Generally an iTwat is unaware of the gimmicky kitschiness of their beloved device.

    You will see the iTwat lovingly caress their overhyped consumer appendage with their spirit fingers with a look of unwarranted pretention on their face that can only be obtained by the delusion that they now have an elevated social standing that can only manifest itself by lovingly caressing their overhyped consumer appendage with their spirit fingers and having a look of unwarranted pretention on their face.

    Put your phone down Jay, stop being an iTwat.


  60. Huw Davies

    @Sarah Bee

    "where's the beef?"

    In this baguette, with lettuce and horseradish of course :D

  61. jai

    7 more

    i do feel a bit of pity for this guy though - you're all having a go at him, but he wasn't the only one

    apparently the developer said that 5 other people in the States bought it, as did one in germany and one in france

    the guys now up 5,600 dollars!

    i think what annoys everyone most about this, even if they won't admit it, is that they didn't think of it first

  62. Thomas Hayes

    Well, it's not *quite* that easy...

    The one click purchase isn't just one click on the iPhone though.

    First you open said application's page

    Second you click the purchase/price button in the top right (in this case $999)

    Third the button then changes to a second confirmation a green 'install?' button

    This guy was clearly wasted and deserves to be milked for every last cent.

  63. Nameless Faceless Computer User

    I see nothing wrong with the application

    Seems tame, compared to the diamond studded iPhone case selling for £7900

  64. Ernest

    Vote for darwin icon

    Darwin Icon go!

  65. Chris Matchett

    How is it a scam?

    The app does what it says it will.

    I would have given him his money back (as a customer relations thing) but I see no reason to take down the app.

  66. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Hmmmmm, Wnaks...I mean Yanks are stoopid.

    I bought a shirt when over in the US last month and the label says "Warning: Remove clothing to iron"

    But in all seriousness, what a complete plank!

  67. Matthew Joyce

    @Léon, re: Adrian Esdaile @Léon re: Adrian Esdaile

    From iTwat posters to uTwat posters. ~fool refers to the user fool, whose file .money is being parted from him. It is a valid construction, unlike your own knowledge. You owe the Oracle $999.99 and some red pixels.

  68. b

    Yes he'd dumb...

    but most of the rather nasty arguments on here could also be used to justify mugging little old ladies....

  69. OlPeculier
    Thumb Up

    As Douglas Adams would have said...

    "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools"

  70. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And thats...

    Why I never EVER turn on one click purchasing.

    Heck, even with it off I was stupid enough to buy 80 headsets with 2.5mm jacks not 3.5mm.....

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    mv ~fool/.money /dev/null ?

    What? Do you think /dev/null is some sort of a recycle bin?

    This happened at work the other day and very nearly resulted in some serious server breakage.

    If you're going to try and ridicule idiots in a way that implies your superiority then at least do it proper like.

  72. Peter da Silva

    That's how I bought an iPod Shuffle

    I wish Amazon would enforce their stupid "one click" patent*, because "one click" purchasing is a really bad idea. Now, in fairness, Apple does give you a grace period to back out and I decided that I really did want the shuffle after all... so I decided not to back out. But I turned off "one click" regardless.

    A friend of mine didn't notice and bought himself a printer that way.

    Where's the icon for Steve Jobs with horns, by the way? He needs equal time with Gates and Ballmer. :)

    *Well, not really, but I do suspect that patenting really bad ideas to keep people from implementing them might be the only way to make lemonade from the US patent orifice's lemons.

  73. Anonymous Coward

    @Matt Bradley

    I'm still trying to see where the fraud exists in this case I'm afraid. Man went onto a shopping system and pressed buy on something that he had been looking at.

    Also, before you applaud Apple, I thought they had to approve apps before they get anywhere near the store ... so well done to them for removing it?!

  74. Jon


    I wonder what will happen if I click the post comment button

  75. Anonymous Coward

    @Matt Bradley

    Its not a scam, the guy is just stupid!

    The button says buy, if he thought that it meant anything other than buy the item, he has problems with plain english.

    If it was a gun and the trigger said kill would we be sympathetic?

    Stupid people need to be less stupid, not the world more ridiculous to accommodate them.

  76. Richard Potts

    There might me more!

    At the bottom of the developers homepage ( for the app it says:

    Only 9 people know the secret mantra!

    Is this a hint that 9 stupid twats might have bought this? Scary...

  77. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Matthew Joyce

    ~fool refers to the user fools home directory. That is what ~ means, home directory.

    ~ is a synonym for /home/

    So it does not "refer to the user fool". Otherwise you could write ps -u ~fool to bring up the fools processes. Or passwd ~fool or any other command which specifies the user.

  78. iannufc

    Another definition for iTwat

    iTwat (eye-twat):

    A person who is called moron / idiot / fanboy / wanker for having the cheek to buy something they like.

    I have owned one piece of Apple kit in my life, and only since last month, and object to all of this abuse. If you are so sad that you have to abuse someone because you can't bear to see people using something that you don't happen to like, then you are the one with the problem.

    I have worked in IT for nearly 15 years, and in the past I have visited this site for some intellectual discussions, many of which have helped me, and provided a useful insight into the latest developments. I can't bear this crap everytime an article is posted about an iPhone. The Apple-haters rubbish really annoys me. I can't work out why it bothers you so much - if anyone would like to contact me and explain to me why you get so worked up about it, then please feel free. I need to understand what it is that makes you feel the need. We are all intelligent people here, you'll have to help me out as I can't understand why people get so abusive. I need to know how your mind works, and make sure that my kids don't turn out like that.

    Here we are in the middle of a credit crunch, and yet some people here still feel the need to come out with plain abuse directed at people who bought a product that they don't like.

    You don't like iPhones? So what, who cares? If you think abusing someone, rather than contributing sensibly to the discussion is good, then why don't you go and do it elsewhere?

    I am disappointed with the Register, for continuing to allow this to go on. I can't explain how much it winds me up.

    You can say that I am biting if you like - you'd be dead right. I'm just sick of seeing the same shit over and over again. Come on, grow up people.

    I wear Adidas trainers and don't like Nike. By your obviously right logic, then everyone who wears Nike trainers is a wanker and a Nike fanboy, who fall for the expensive Wayne Rooney adverts for metatarsal-breaking football boots. Don't say it's not the same, cos it is. It's just about shoes and not a phone.

    Laugh at me all you want you tossers, I really don't care. Just crawl back into your little holes, check Google for 'iPhone' and then go and find somewhere else to offer your little pearls of wisdom. I'm sure your intelligent comments will wind someone else up.

    Criticise the iPhone for it's tie-in, locks, etc, by all means. These are all intellectual, and very valid things to discuss. I don't like it either, but it doesn't make me a wanker. Just don't abuse someone for having the cheek to own one, you're just making a prick out of yourself.

    I let things bother me too much, that's my problem, but it needed said.

  79. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Another definition for iTwat

    >>I am disappointed with the Register, for continuing to allow this to go on. I can't explain how much it winds me up.

    Yeah, ain't we a stinker?

  80. Mike

    Logic lost...

    "but most of the rather nasty arguments on here could also be used to justify mugging little old ladies...."

    I don't see how - the implication is the "victim" here is stupid enough to pay what the majority of us here see as a ridiculously over-inflated price for something.

    In mugging, the victim has no say or conscious choice in the event (OK, maybe a choice of occupying a particular part of the universe at a particular point in time, but even then they don't consciously choose to be in the presence of a mugger), whereas here there's some plank who sees a picture that is priced at $1,000 and opts to press a button marked "buy".

    This is the equivalent only of going up to said "little old lady" and saying, "I have a picture of a ruby here. I'll leave it here and stand over there If you want it, put $1000 in the box and you can take it?". No pressure to buy, just put in front of her and left to make her choice - if she agrees to buy it, what would your opinion be then?

    And remember, pictures by dead artists sell for a phenomenal amount of money these days... do we say that this is a scam as well?

  81. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo


    whats the difference between apple taking that much money in one go, or gradually over an 18 month contract. Apple are very much like the tax man, they'll find as many ways to screw you over and get your money.

  82. Anonymous Coward

    If Steve took pity on the slow

    He'd stop selling iPhones.

  83. Stevie

    4 iannufc

    Er, you go through all that rather than not just apply the rule of thumb "Register Hates iPhone, It's Users and Everything They Stand For On Principle" and simply not read the article?

  84. dervheid

    might as well join in the fun...

    what a wanker!

    No Sympathy.

  85. Anonymous Coward

    @ Frank & iBiosphere franchise

    Franchise will run you $150.00 US, plus 10% of any net profits. Wholesale price of the model you're interested in is about 15 bucks, which I think you can get $20 to $25k (or what ever the Apple iMarket will bare).

    I am also in the process of developing an iBridge, iOrphan, iTHree legged dog or cat, iWhale, iPolarbear cub (with optional treading water module) and my personal favorite, iCeleb. (tm), (c) (sm) and patent pending.

    Each will come with a certificate of authenticity.

    the iBridge comes with a rusted bolt.

    the iOrphan comes with a finger nail clipping

    the iDog and iCat comes with a clipping of hair

    the iCeleb comes with restraining order, but the good news is you will be able to put it in a variety of compromising situations, in all kinds of funny clothing and other gag accessories and forward it to your friends as a pic file, to be distributed on the web as potential blackmail.

    The ieTailor wins, the customer wins and I move product. So it's a win, win win for everybody.

    Have your people call my people and we can haggle.

  86. Tom
    Paris Hilton

    Bangkok Chick-boys

    Ben: Oh, what you will have done is, when it flashed up on your screen, "Do you want to watch Bangkok Chick-boys?" you must have pressed the button that said "yes".

    Alan: Yeah, well, as I say, it's very confusing.

  87. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Hang on a minute...

    Is it really that supid of him? Surely it's not that unreasonable to think that even Apple wouldn't be quite such thieving bastards as to charge $1000 for effectively nothing, so there was at least a possibility that there was something more to it? Clearly not, and it's a standard Apple product - looks pretty, but absurdly overpriced and only bought by cretins with more money than sense.

  88. Anonymous Coward

    "I AM RICH!!!"

    ... said the app's developer.

    Wonder how many suck...err... unwitting iPhone users fell for this gimmick.

    (My coat's the one with the thick wad of euro bills sticking out of the pocket, kplzthx.)

  89. Jodo Kast

    Make your own high-priced, vaguely useful app

    Because someone will eventually buy it.

    These are called TRINKET APPS. They have a purpose: they redistribute wealth from folks who want trinkets to the people who want money.

    Obviously if you want to spend $1000 for a trinket, you should be able to do that.

    I'm a tad confused why Apple would remove this. People want trinkets. Just look at all the materialistic folks out there...

  90. J

    @Peter da Silva

    "Where's the icon for Steve Jobs with horns, by the way? He needs equal time with Gates and Ballmer. :)"

    Are you joking or have you really not noticed the two last icons (iCons?) ARE Steve Jobs??? I'd guess the latter, since a bunch of people make this comment... (genius-grade hint: hover your mouse over those two and see what shows; if it does not work with your browser, it is "iFan" and "iHate")

    Now, regarding the "bling" (what a stupid word) app... It should most definitely be put back up, since it is honest and legitimate, as far as I understand from the articles I've read (I don't do iTunes, so I'll probably never see it). Period.

    Of course, we could instead discuss the REAL issue of "returning" downloaded goods, which Amazon does not allow, for instance. I do buy MP3s from them, and you have to use one-click to download directly, and it does indeed behave exactly as the iTunes thing described (but I do know that and chose to have it so). It says "thank you and good buy". And they do tell you such things can't be returned and you won't get a refund, in some hidden place you have to look for:

    "2.4 All Sales Final; Downloading and Risk of Loss; Availability of Digital Content. All sales of Digital Content are final. We do not accept returns of Digital Content. Once you have purchased Digital Content, we encourage you to download it promptly and to make back-up copies of it. [...]"

  91. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    EU not FU

    If this had happened in the EU, the buyers would be entitled (under distance-selling rules) to get their money back up to 30 days later.

    The free market is an expensive place for buyers.

  92. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

    iTwat ... but a little bit of iSympathy please

    It doesn't seem that unreasonable to click "Buy" to discover exactly what the full cost is going to be, tax, postage and packing etc with a chance to back-out. That may not be applicable in this particular case but it's the usual modus-operandi for near everything else on-line.

    Who hasn't been in a shop, pointed at something, and said, "I'd like to buy that" ? Most often in a car showroom or jewellers is it not ?

  93. Joe

    @ Anonymous Coward

    "of course he doesn't, he makes them by iphone/ipod/macs/other cheap made in china rubbish...."

    Find me any piece of computer technology that isn't made in China!

  94. Anonymous Coward

    @Did he get his money back?

    He's too stupid to have money, why should he get it back.

  95. Marc

    Coud this be...

    ...The guys best investment?

    Since the app is now removed, and it's getting more and more publicity - any chance he could offload it to someone willing to pay a boat-load?

  96. Kimo


    I used to just pop out the little tabs on the cassettes to disable recording. Put tape over the wholes if you really want to record over again. No problem.

    "And all of a sudden it became possible to record by accident. And any time you fumbled and hit the wrong button you ended up blasting a big silent gap over your music and it was really annoying."

    Mine's the one with thousands of little plastic tabs in the pocket.

  97. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To Sarah Bee

    You will find the beef in the newest, most exciting iPhone application, called Beef. For just 499 US dollars, or the equivalent in the UK which is 499 GBP, you can have a photograph of some beef. On your iPhone. This reasonable price includes 90 days of application support, and early access to the beta of the Beef 2.0, which is anticipated in Q2 2009, as soon as Apple have completed the upgrade to their piss extraction and processing facility in Slough.

  98. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Magic Beans For Sale Here !

    I have some magic beans for sale here that when planted grow to give sold gold bean pods - yours for only £1999 + VAT.

    Please make checks out to

    The Magic Bean Co,

    PO BOX 156



    In the words of Bugs Bunny - What a maroon !

    Why Saint Steve ?

    Because he is a genius at separating an idiot from his money !

  99. Daniel B.

    9 people bought it?

    Ok, 7 now ... but man at $999 a piece, that seems quite enough to liquidate my debt!

    I should've milked the iDiots first...

  100. Anonymous Coward


    As I said, I did use this site as a point of reference until I lost my patience.

    ˙oƃǝnl ɐʇsɐɥ

  101. James Monnett
    Jobs Horns

    No sympathy

    But a good laugh.

    Seriously, if someone is retarded enough to spend a grad on it, and goes to a "store" to buy it, clicks buy, and then cant understand why their mortgage money is suddenly gone..... they got what they asked for (and deserved)

    /wanders off to start creating a bouceybling app for the iphone to sell for 2500 a pop.

  102. StopthePropaganda

    Apple can patent this, a first realization of TIAC

    TIAC-Turd In A Can. The next stage of Pimp-Style Marketing, where "selling the sizzle, not the steak" is surpassed by making people want to pay good money for something they know is bad,

    The next evolution, is getting people to pay good money for practically nothing, and finally the ultimate corporate ideology where there is no product and people scramble to pay you good money for nothing. KW Jeter would be proud.

    Prior art on this:

  103. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    OK, so I have been in the IT industry for 15 years and I am a technical bod.

    I picked up an iPhone3G recently, its the only Apple device I own, it is the best mobile phone I have owned since my first Nokia in 1992.


    I have not cracked it, and am never intending to, right now it does everything it says on the tin.

    Fun stuff

    - Visual Answer phone

    - Cloud + OpenZone WiFi Free

    - Unlimited Web access

    - Email, web access anytime

    - The browser is fantastic!

    - the only device I own that connects to WiFi without having to piss about (Win XP / Vista)

    - Dynolicious for my performance tuning

    - VNC

    - Cheaper than my previous Vodafone account

    - Don't need to spend 80+ on an ipod.

    Bad points

    - Battery life, because I can't put the dam thing down.

    - Camera is shit, but don't use it anyhow.

    - and to easy to buy more stuff off Apple as this poor sod found out! The application should never of made it onto iTunes.

    The device is one of the best I have ever had the pleasure to use.

  104. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    mv ~fool/.money /dev/null

    /dev/null is a file; you cannot *move*. Try rm

  105. Daniel Noakes


    What on earth was he thinking? it is the itunes store and more importantly, the buy button.

  106. Rolf Howarth

    only 7?

    Calling the guy who pressed Buy as a laugh a moron is a bit unfair, as he was of course expecting another confirmation step first (except his partner had changed the default setting).

    (Speaks the man who once tried to create a web order for 10000 XServes to see if he could crash the Apple online store. But no, I don't have one-click turned on.)

    It's a shame only 7 people bought the app, because as far as I know you *can* apply for a refund from anything you buy from the app store if it fails to meet your expectations, but the person selling the app still has to pay the 30% store fee, so he'd be down about $2000 for pratting about!

  107. Tom

    Looks like they are in luck...

    Only 7 people own the secet mantra !

    (Two bought it by accident - 'one click' - their money will be returned)

    But what is a "secet"?

  108. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Darwin and Overpriced

    I love the fact that most of the people calling for Darwin award nominations, seem to have no idea of what the Darwin awards are. (Maybe they should get an award for stupidity ... a copy of 'I am rich' perhaps).

    Also, calling the iPhone expensive isn't actually the case anymore. (at this point someone normally quotes the product of 45 and 18).

  109. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @OK, so I have been in the IT industry for 15 years and I am a technical bod.

    Take a good look at your list, most of it is from your service provider and can be provided for ANY phone. Easy WIFi ? my diamond connected to my local LAN with one click after I provided the SSID, how easy do you want ? Browser ? Opera Mobile is the mutts nuts, end of. E-mail? come on, too easy be mentioned.

    Now lets talk about lock-in.

    No lets not coz the J-phone PHAILS big time on this one. You dont own the phone, you are allowed to use it. Just given a Nokia I have no use for to one of my nephews, he is happy and I get to dispose of an older phone. Now if it were a J-Phone what do you suppose would happen ?

    Meh, would someone sprinkle fairy dust around so that people would see what they are (not) buying ?

  110. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    iRock (tm) patent pending

    new franchise opportunity... For the less descriminating iPhone goober with entirely too much money on their hands and now have their own pet iRock, for a mere $100.00 USD. Not only will you be able to enjoy the almost 3D appearence of your pet on your iPhone, but you'll be able to listen to its majestic mating call (sold seperately), as heard in nature.

    Impress your friends, amuse your enemies, get them while they last... Sizes & colors vary... Collect them all!

  111. Phil
    Gates Horns

    Can we better iTwat?

    /dev/null is more of a pseudo-device than a file.

    But regardless a fool and his money are easily...moved?

    Can we think of a better phrase than iTwat?

    I much prefer iWanker but have to watch my ground as I own said device (OK left myself wide open..)

  112. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No sympathy what ever

    The only way to get yer money back is to click "Buy" twice.

    Bleedin fool.

  113. Walking Turtle

    re: mv ~fool/.money /dev/null

    Um, I'm a tad rusty on this, but doesn't the construct

    ~fool/.money | /dev/null

    (iow, "Grab /home/fool/.money [and pipe it directly to] /dev/null" )

    still work? (Chown -H -R root /dev/null and then try again if not, I think...)

    I visited the site for a giggle; found four *high*-resolution pix. Higher res than this one can see any tiny phone screen needing; they display very well indeed @ 1600X1200 in 24 bits. Well-sequenced, they make a fine desktop slide-show progression on the KDE desktop. Very glitzy 'n' mondo bling-y in/out/in/out alla' daylong... Thank you,!

    I think I'll keep my $30.00 Nokia for now. Picked up a 2GB iPod (audio-only) for next-to-nuthin' the other day, streetside... Third-hand, still runnin'... The guy didn't want to own (let alone at his age learn to operate) a computer, was getting tired of the songs, and preferred the wisdom of American Beer instead of another round o' pretty li'l Jenny Lopez' bouncy vocalz.

    Oh well. Won't be long now; there's prolly a perfectly good 'n' useful iPhone in me future, I'll warrant... That nigh-free antique iPod works great w/GTKPod minding its' tags 'n' tunes database.

    Meantime that rich new hi-res wallpaper o'mine (as in possession, not as in origination) grades smooth as silk from grey granular to gray smooth to gray smoother to super-smooth blaring red, then back down the scale again on Desktop Two... Nice.

    Hey, lookit: I already know I am wealthy in many ways; my life is full and fulfilling today. Wealthy as I am, I think this-here hippity crikety one-click pricetagged push-button pixelworld's bubble-biz product line's going RICH.

    As in "joke" more than in "pastry" imho, let alone "Tangible Assets". So now oi'll git me coat 'n' be off...

    Mine's the avant-garde screen-printed one with the laser-red "NeoCon Pentagon" emblem moping slightly off-center and still creeping due north on the back. (Y'see that? It just lurched again!)

  114. Nordrick Framelhammer

    @Matt Bradley

    Firstly, where is exactly is the scam? Did he break the crApp Stores rules? Did he lie in order to seperate the buck from the schmucks? If not then there was no scam

    As for those that disable the prompts that are the last thing keeping them and their money together, as far as I am concerned by clicking on a button labelled in Buy they fully intended to purchase the item they clicked on that Buy button for, therefore they have no comeback.

    In this case it is very much carpe diem.

  115. Graeme Hayes

    There's One Word To Describe This Bloke

    But my Mum won't let me use it.......

  116. Anonymous Coward

    Nordrick Framelhammer

    I think you mean caveat emptor.

  117. Julian Garrett

    And when it doesn't sell, for the same reasons as last time

    They will drop their prices. Shit, I thought Apple put SOME value on what customers thought, obviously not.

    If this is the way operators are going to treat their customers, this iPhone will flop just like the last one did (outside of America). Purses are being tightened and people know what extortion is when they see it.

    I was going to buy one but I am off to get an N95 instead... better phone too.

  118. b166er


    How about iKunt?

    How do you like those Apples?

  119. Anonymous Coward

    Turd in a Can: Prior "art"?

    Been done....-ish:

  120. Anonymous Coward


    >"Man... you've been holding that in *way* too long!"

    :-) Actually, I get that one out every six months or so and have been doing ever since OTR was first invented... every time some eejit goes and reinvents the same damfool stupid idea in a new guise or on a new piece of technology.

    See, there's lots of devices with essential safety interlocks of one kind or another out there.

    And lots of eejits who think it's a clever idea to take 'em away!

  121. Giles Morgans

    ... If only there were some sort of Darwin award for this type of idiocy...

    What a complete and utter n00b.

    I doubt whether he'll receive any 'iPity' or 'iSympathy' in here !

  122. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns


    haahahahaha sums up my general perception of (cr)apple users

  123. dom



  124. theotherone
    Paris Hilton

    ok that's it

    ok that's it, the verdict is out, anyone who buys an iphone is a dick.......

    paris cause.....quite obvious from the last sentence really...

  125. Andus McCoatover

    @Darwin awards

    AHA!!! Rather than get i-diots to buy 'spensive virtual bling by clicking once, someone should make a pouch for the phone that, hanging from the neck, places said iPhone right next to the 'nads.

    Won't get a Darwin award, but that'll fix it.

  126. Monkey

    @Matt Bradley

    ... people cannot go on and on being allowed to make their own choices, like this person did clicking blindly on the 'buy' button, then turn around when it all goes wrong and blame other people for it. The Western world is turning more and more into a culture of blame and individuals complaining that 'something needs to be done', when they fuck up through their own ignorance and idiocy (let us be honest, this is exactly what this is here). Your comments typify this attitude and it make me sick. Along with most others in here by the looks of it.

    I suppose you see it as McDonalds fault that their customers who have super size meals EVERY day develop severe obesity, heart disease and send themselves blind through sugar poisoning and the onset of type 2 diabetes?

  127. D. M

    I wish I thought this idea earlier

    Can someone write a program that displays a diamond, and sells for $100,000?

    The fact this guy bought iPhone is enough to say he is iDiot. For those who bough this iPhone crap, I will sell for iNothing for 1 Million USD each. That's right, you will get nothing, but you can display your richness by spending million bucks for nothing.

  128. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Dumbell would have been smarter...

    Lee5279xx (the purchaser) is stupid in multiple fronts. He not only bought an iPhone but also purchased software that does nothing. What, he didn't read the features? Oh, wait, it matched his intelligence capabilities, but then he just looked at the mirror (the red glow) and freaked out. He fails to take responsibility for his action and inactions.

    At least Paris has an excuse... This guy doesn't have any comparatively speaking.

  129. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Safety Interlocks......And allied human/machine interface subjects

    Ejection checklist rivetted to canopy frame of late fifties USAF fighter. Step 1 - Jettison canopy...... Errrrr where's step 2 ?

    Back on topic - One click purchase ? Ye gods there's a reason for not removing such confirmation steps and a reason for not piddling about on such high value retail sites as this whilst under the influence. Seems to have escaped this chappie though. What iDolt.

  130. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Verified by Visa would have saved the day!

    If only iTunes had had that superior security software, this tragedy might have been averted! One-click purchase? More like 100 keystrokes to discover he'd forgotten his password, reset it, and try again...

  131. Big Dave

    I hope the writer of the app sues Apple for removing his item

    Why the heck shouldn't he try and sell crap to rich idiots? Why is his bit of useless, status-symbol tat any more 'wrong' than someone elses?

  132. Dan Howarth
    Thumb Down

    @Matt Bradley

    So can I whine at GM or Ford because they made the car able to exceed the speed limit, and didn't stop me from breaking it?

    If the idiot's only justification for buying this useless tripe is "I thought it was a joke", maybe he shouldn't be allowed to spend money without an adult to supervise him.

    HE clicked "buy". HE was using the computer. HE did this to himself. Regardless of whether the app is useless, a scam, or anything else... he still clicked the button that committed him to spending $999.99 on an animation for his iPhone.

    Most sensible, intelligent people would simply fob it off with a "how ridiculous" or "who'd be so stupid...?" and move on to net-pastures anew.

    He's an adult. Actions have consequences. At least if he learns his lesson, it's $999.99 very well spent, says I.

    PH, because she wouldn't whine about it, she'd show it to the media and turn it into the new Burberry.

  133. Léon

    @Matthew Joyce

    Check! Well, apologies and new thing learned then!

  134. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @AC "Press play AND record, goddammit! "

    >>"And all of a sudden it became possible to record by accident. And any time you fumbled and hit the wrong button you ended up blasting a big silent gap over your music and it was really annoying."

    Except if you were using a pre-recorded cassette.

    Or any *other* cassette where you'd disabled writing by punching out the write-enable tabs once you'd recorded what you wanted.

    Which cases for me, at least, seemed to cover the vast bulk of my tape usage, with the only exceptions being the times when I was actually recording stuff, when there was little danger of overwriting anything by accident.

  135. dreadful scathe

    @Stan and Darwin Quoters

    " definitely worthy of a darwin nomination but not funny enough to deserve one. "

    in what way is he worthy of a darwin nomination ? did the red dot attempt to kill him ? If so, perhaps it IS worth the $1000 :)

  136. James Monnett

    New (cr)app(les)

    Now available -----

    Bouncy Bling - a bouncing image of a random jewel - $2500.00

    BounceBounceBling - Bouncy not enough Bling? this one randomly shows several different jewels and bounces faster - $4000.00

    the iPink - you can guess, since you'll never get it any other way - $500.00

    the iPinklite - cheap version of iPink, commonly found on st.... nm - $20.00

    and for thos of you who think you're uber gamers----------------------

    the iSword - image of rusty short sword much like the one your character is still using at level 200

  137. John F***ing Stepp

    I am sorry Dave; I have been looking through your porn files.

    I can't do that.


    Really, Dave get some help, get help right now, I mean it!

    'Cause if you can disturb a f**cing computer program. . .

    I mean really.

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