Sign in / up

back to article Robotic hand relief

With the weekend approaching, many of you will be dreaming up ways to relax. Well, a robotic personal relaxation device is available that’ll help while away Saturday afternoon. For our male readers anyway. flip_03 Tenga's Flip Hole: gives new meaning to handsfree The Tenga Flip Hole is an automated masturbator for men, …

COMMENTS

House rules Send corrections
This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jesus, it's ideal for you lot...

    Could there possibly be a better device available for sweaty, geek-tastic IT journalists and their wonderful readers..

    Working in the world of, ahem, IT journalism, and knowing what you lot look like (my good self excepted, of course), I'm only too aware of how this will be the next big thing, perhaps even more popular than the spectacularly cheap Eeee PC.

    But c'mon geeks, wouldn't you rather just.. well.. get a girlfriend or sumfink?

    0 0
  2. Iain
    Stop

    Toight

    "can only safely accommodate a todger of up to 6.5in. "

    I don't wish to boast, but quite frankly it wouldn't fit.

    I thought the national average was 5.8in, so not much room for... expansion.

    Hell, how can you even use inuendo here?

    0 0
  3. Scott
    Paris Hilton

    @Ac

    Me thinks you protest to much, bet you just ordered yours....

    And i got a girlfirend its keeping her secret from the wife thats the problem, wonder what they would think though if they found one of these under the bed?

    PH for obvious reasons

    0 0
  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    heh

    could save my arm from alot of uneccesary effort.

    0 0
  5. katie

    Men getting off with a machine...I love it!

    Fantastic! Now perhaps they'll finally understand what all the hype around the "Rabbit" is about, I'm surprised Anne Summers didn't think of this one herself...but then again, as if men really need any more encouragement ;-) Thanks for the story James, always brilliant.

    0 0
  6. Steve

    Units

    Well, even if you don't get one to play with, at least you have a new vulture unit, 1 Tenga = 6.5"

    What next, the iTenga ?

    0 0

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    It needs a better name

    iWank?

    Jesus Hand?

    Any other suggestions?

    0 0
  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The average length is slightly over 6.5" in some countries

    In Western Europe and North America the average is about 6.3". A significant proportion will be over 6.5" wherever you are. So it looks as though there was a cock-up with the specs.

    I can understand them not wanting to accommodate the world record of over 12", but it's daft not to accept at least 8".

    Let me know when they've fixed this problem!

    0 0
  10. piper

    @Scott

    ..oh yes, I've ordered fifty. Just so I don't have to clean them afterwards..

    Now get back to writing El Reg and stop leaving silly comments!!

    0 0
  11. Eric
    Go

    THX 1138

    So someone else appreciated that scene from THX 1138 also! Does it have a hologram upgrade?

    Mines the one making sucking noises...

    0 0
  12. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Ultimate test scenario:

    See if the device is able to facilitate a 'happy ending' while the tester* looks at a picture of Ann Widdecombe.

    * - Note: In the interests of accuracy, Daily Mail readers need not apply.

    0 0
  13. Dangermouse

    Is it dish-washer proof?

    That is all.

    0 0
  14. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Re: Is it dish-washer proof?

    I ain't coming for dinner at your house. (Not unless you're serving Pot Noodles with disposable plastic forks...)

    0 0
  15. Danny van der Weide
    Boffin

    The iTenga...

    ... is about 6.5 iInches.

    And an iInch is about 256 milimeters, as one would expect!

    0 0
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Damn!

    Is there a larger version coming?

    0 0
  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Excellent - I want one!!!!

    I have a tool called a Penis Pump. a soft dimpled inner silicone sheath with a clear hard outer casing and a hand operated vacuum pump.

    The plastic pump was total bullshit - flimsy valves and all....

    But it's like getting a head job and a fuck at the same time...

    Brilliant.

    A small internal warmer would be a welcome addition tho.

    :)

    0 0
  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Excellent - I want one!!!!

    Could you possibly be any more of a loser?

    0 0
  19. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    OK......

    I'm going to be the first one to admit that I may need a smaller version......

    0 0
  20. Richard Hodgson
    Thumb Up

    Better names?

    How about 'The Stranger'?

    0 0
  21. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    And most important for Mac users ...

    Does it come (no pun intended) in a glossy white?

    0 0
  22. Tom
    Alert

    safely?......

    Um, what the hell does it do to you if you abuse these rules, does it slap you and get mardy if you knock the the thing at the end that looks like krang?

    0 0
  23. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Awww...

    How come my girlfriend is allowed to have a whole knapsack full of this stuff and that makes her awesome, but if I even had one little flip-thingy behind the socks in my bottom drawer, that would make me creepy?

    0 0
  24. Tom

    @ /\ AC

    Because the mental images of you and the pocket wizard thing are not half as alluring.

    0 0
This topic is closed for new posts.