German medical team arms man, twice

Medical science has given a 54-year-old German farmer new hope to again indicate how large a fish he's caught by successfully fitting him with a new pair of arms. Munich University Clinic said doctors spent 15 hours grafting fresh limbs onto his body, in what they believe is the world's first complete double arm transplant. …

[Stuart Elliott]

The problem...

The problem however, is the donor was a woman, and now his hands won't let go of his c*ck.

[Dave]

Amendments

You can tell it wasn't done in the US because his new arms aren't hairy enough. All that stuff about the right to bear arms, etc...

[Herby]

Gives new meaning to...

...arms dealers

Sorry, I had to!

[Steve Evans]

And bang...

...goes biometrics relying on finger prints!

[Martin]

From the bleedin obvious dept.

"donor who died shortly before the surgery"

Got that the right way round then!

[Colonel Panic]

So....

He was disarmed and then rearmed. How very German.

[Mat Child]

re: Problem

So normal service then?

[Pete]

is the the start....

of a new Arms race? (sorry couldn't resist)

[Timbo]

Fingerprints...?

So, hopefully the "donor" wasn't an arch crim or pedo or serial rapist.....coz otherwise, it's gonna be tough telling people that you AREN'T the person they accuse you of being, if your fingerprints match what's on file somewhere.....and god help you if the recipient needs to go to the USA....!

Wonder how they chose the "donor"????

[Paul Buxton]

Wife must be pleased with his new arms!!

She's probably been scratching his arse and balls the last few years!!!

[Lukin Brewer]

Arms dealers...

The term was used in this context in a Judge Dredd story back in 1982 (I think). It was also used in this context as a running gag in the second series of "A Very Peculiar Practice" in the late 80s.

Sorry, Herby.

[b]

incredible, really

have to say good luck to the man.

this area is also served by the incredible promise of stem cells, which wlil prove to be even more magical, if the promise is realised.

btw, felt slightly put off by the sarcy reporting, i felt the story didn't really need that :\

cheers,

bill

stuff and nonsense: http://www.eupeople.net/forum

[Anonymous Coward]

"Arma virumque cano" would have been a good title

But I don't suppose any El Reg journalist is olde enough to have done Latin at school... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeneid

[Khaptain]

Bionic Man

This is pushing it a little too far just in order to become a member of the Steve Austin fan club.

Mine's the body warmer, with the additional arms.....

[Anonymous Coward]

USCBP

When was the last time you entered the US sir?

Never.

Please hold you fingers on the sensor.

*beep*

*raises an eyebrow* come with me sir.

[Chris G]

I 'ope

'E keeps 'is new limbs out of 'arm's way.

[Anonymous Coward]

before he wa 'armless

now he has 2 whole armies (in his sleevies)

thats handy!

[Anonymous Coward]

Will they never learn?

My extensive research on the science behind transplants, based on several years of watching low budget horror movies at 2 in the morning, leads me to conclude that these arms WILL most likely have belonged to a demented serial killer, and the new owner WILL be compelled to replicate that killers murders.

I give it thirty days before he manages to tear off one of the arms, before being strangled to death by the other.

It's like these unrelentingly irresponsible doctors live in a vacuum.

[Bastiaan van Zwieten]

We should all give them ...

... a great, big hand!

The doctors I mean, off-course. Because this is really getting somewhere.

And it's a big improvement for anybody considering Cryo.

Just freeze my head please and give me a new body.

Paris: Because she should have a transplant the other way round: Keep the body ditch the brain!

[Anonymous Coward]

@Stuart Elliott

I have that problem! ...don't remember any surgery though.

[Dodgy Geezer]

Well, I hope

..they got them the right way round.

I recall that Harry Harrison's eponymous character 'Bill the Galactic Hero' had an arm shot off and replaced with a friend's. Due to typical 23rd century competence, he ended up with two right arms, one black and one white.....

[Ian Ferguson]

I'm a little disappointed

I was hoping this was one of those hospital mix-up stories, and he'd gone in for the same operation twice, resulting in two right arms or something.

When will doctors and surgeons wake up to the fact that WE WANT MORE FREAKS, DAMMIT

[Pierre]

@ b about stem cells

Stem cells cannot be used to regenerate a whole limb. You can grow tissue but not a complex mix of tissues (especially when the tissues are from different germ layers).

[smashIt]

not the first time

the first time that both arms have been transplantes was january 2000 in france

the second time was march 2000 in austria

[Chris]

I just hope it works out for the guy.

Ok, I might be a cynical piss taker a lot of the time. But...

[Anonymous Coward]

@Colonel Panic

I salute you, Colonel. I think it's time for a promotion to General.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @Colonel Panic

"I salute you, Colonel. I think it's time for a promotion to General."

Won't he have to change his name to "Protection Fault" then? [/rimshot]

Eythangew ...

And surely I can't be the only one thinking of the episode of Futurama where Fry ends up with the Robot Devil's hands :-)

[TeeCee]

@Colonel Panic

I think we're safe unless he retrains as a plumber.

[wulff heiss]

SCNR

good hand job, apparently

[Nemo Metis]

Aha!

So this is how it starts! anyone want to take bets on when Liquid Snake will begin to manifest?

Mines the one with unpatched sleeves....

[Chain Saw]

And to celebrate

He's planning on getting legless

[Anonymous Coward]

Muhahahahahaha!

I am surprised that nobody has mentioned Dr Frankenstein yet. Where will it all end?

Fire, 'cos I think the docs are playing with it far too much.

[Killboy]

and from Basil Brush

"... doctors, nurses and assistants spread across five teams working arm-in-arm."

Boom-Boom

[Bounty]

limb regeneration

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=regrowing-human-limbs