Mr Kafka, meet Mr Orwell. I think you both know Mr Dodgson.
'This makes it a criminal offence for an individual to take two or more unrelated (and unclassified) pieces of information and put them together to create a conclusion that is “secret”.'
OK, let me check that I am understanding this quite clearly. I learn two unclassified pieces of information - which, presumably, are freely available and may even be published. On learning the second piece of information, I quickly see that, between them, these two facts imply a third.
By seeing that implication, it seems, I am committing a serious criminal offence. I always knew intelligence was considered suspect by the English (sic) establishment, but I didn't know it had actually been outlawed. Or is it just logic that is illegal?
It's also interesting to reflect that seeing the logical conclusion of two public facts is illegal, if and only if that conclusion is "secret". How are we supposed to know that it is secret? If we knew that it was secret, we would presumably also know what it was - which is illegal. But if we don't know that it is secret, and we stumble upon it innocently - that is illegal too.
As far as I can see, if we are not to fall foul of this astonishing law, it is prudent to combine several courses of action.
1. As far as possible, avoid thinking.
2. If you must think, for Heaven's sake think illogically. That should be fairly safe.
3. Do everything in your power to avoid learning anything that is in any way related to the UK government. Otherwise you may unwittingly learn two public facts which, taken together, magically transform you into a criminal (and possibly a terrorist, or even an enemy combatant - and we all know what happens to them).
Mind you, in adopting these three habits you will be following in the footsteps of the PM and the Cabinet. In days of yore, upstaging a ruler in any way (such as wearing purple, or hunting more successfully) could easily get you killed. Today, showing more intelligence or knowledge than our rulers may fall into the same category of offence.
But I can't help reflecting that a nation of people who don't think and are scared to learn any facts might be exactly what our rulers would like, right now.