Alcoholic Malaysian shrews cast doubt on UK booze panic In a shock development offering hope for the cohesion of British society - not to mention the finances of the British government and the operating model of the Reg - boffins have discovered that it is possible to live almost entirely on booze and yet remain fully functional. At the moment, according to the latest research, the …
Shrews are among the smallest mammals of all (with the possible exception of the freakish bumblebee bat) and have incredibly rapid metabolisms. We would explode if we ate as much as they need to, to keep their little engines running and I'm afraid extrapolating upwards to humans will not help us avoid the state of inebriation.
I'd be more interested if they could genetically give us that molecule which acts as anti-freeze in blood that is carried by some animals in the antarctic. At least then you could stumble back from the pub in deepest darkest winter and not care where you fell asleep on the way home.
*The vulture because it might not be dead, it might just be very, very drunk.
I am not in any way worried by inebriated shrews getting behind the wheel of a car. I have never had to avoid drunken-shrew vomit on the underground. The majority or human drinkers are at least as considerate as shrews. If the scientists had come up with some way to deal with the others then I would be interested.
It just becomes a bit more obvious after relatively small amounts of alchohol that the average Brit is an incosiderate, impolite and aggressive.
Germans and Japanese are invariably polite and well mannered right up to the point where thay fall over. Its very difficult to tell whether a Spaniard has been sipping mineral water or just downed a bottle of brandy there is very little difference in behaviour. The French are rude, self centered arrogent bastards drunk or sober. Only the Brits use booze as an excuse for going Neadrathal.
Lets here it for european unity.
I dread to think what they'd be link on the Stella, then....! Maybe that's the next US military project? Increase shrew aggression with a few cans of "Old Partner Beater" and send them on their way to Iraq to take it out on "teh terrywrists*"?
*ie whoever they find. That's the description these days, right?
It's called Toddy mate. Funny white stuff sold in plastic bags or old 2l coke bottles. Evil stuff. I only ever drank it once, and that was years ago at an open air seafood restaurant near Klang. One guy took a bottle back to his hotel room and it exploded in the 'fridge as it was still fermenting.
Mine's the one with a parang stuffed inside a badminton raquet cover
Having spent a couple of years there, drunk scots are at least as bad as the drunk rest of Britain. Which is hardly a benchmark to aim at.
The city centre on a Sat. night is truly mind boggling, other countries
would call it a riot or a civil war...
It might be best not to push your theory too far.
".....odd stifled belch, hiccup or inadvertent furniture collision....."
What about the farting? It's the farting that really kills according to my missus. A decent beer can turn the most innocent of little squeakers into something capable of stunning sauropods at range.
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