back to article Torvalds brands Digg users 'W*nking Walruses'

Linus Torvalds used his latest missive to the Linux Kernel mailing list to have a go at innocent Digg users - all in the name of getting the email more widely read, of course. At the end of the message detailing merge requests, Torvalds wrote: "PS. And to get wider distribution for this message: Digg users - you're all a bunch …


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  1. Naich
    Thumb Up

    How long until...

    Rod rubbing register readers?

    With an apt icon.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Righteous Register

    Nuff said

  3. Calum Morrison

    Isn't that...

    a future release of Ubuntu?

  4. Eponymous Cowherd
    Paris Hilton

    Still waiting for....

    Bishop bashing bastards.

    Pudding pulling plonkers.

    Paris, 'cos its better to call a professional than do it yourself....

  5. Juillen

    And I thought

    He was just working on the chav branding of future Ubuntu releases.

  6. Matthew Wilkes
    Paris Hilton


    They are wanking walruses.

    Paris, because I'm sure she has.

  7. Matthew Joyce
    Thumb Down

    Who will it be?

    The Spam King and associates, perhaps? They already have the ability to get Linus' message, whatever it is, to the mailbox of millions... so:

    Spammers are all Onanistic Onagers?

    With the inverted icon to that suggested by Naich, because they're a bunch of backward onanists at best.

  8. Anonymous Coward

    Errr, hang on...

    Many Digg users aren't actually old enough, to, you know...

  9. Nigel Whitfield

    Onanistic orang-utans

    or perhaps auto-erotic aardvarks.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    What the fuck is a wanking walrus

    when it's at home?

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Are we...

    Onanistic Ostriches?

    Peter-pulling penguins?

  12. Anonymous Coward

    ubuntu naming policy...

    That's given me a great idea for continuing the ubuntu naming policy:

    Gutsy Gibbon

    Hardy Heron

    Impure Iguana

    Jerking Jaguar

    Knock-One-Out Koala

  13. Uwe Dippel
    Paris Hilton

    Thanks for heads-up

    I'm off to the OpenBSD mailing list to find out what Theo calls Linus in return. Don't mess with Theo, he knows how to use the 4-letter-words like nobody else.

    Paris, because she knows how to do it.

  14. Adrian Jackson

    Hardly a surprise to see this from Torvalds...

    After all, everyone knows Linux kernel developers are just a bunch of self-abusing sea anemones.

  15. A. Lewis

    Surely Reg readers are...

    Venerous Vultures, or something like that? (Couldn't think of a better V word)

    Anyway, when did Linus take charge of naming Ubuntu releases?

  16. andy rock

    who indeed...

    "Who will Linus insult next in the name of popularising free open source software?"

    everybody, hopefully. go Linus!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lactating Linuses?

    Titillated Torvalds?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what about

    Monkey spanking MicroSofties

    Tossing Torvalds

    Jisming Javaists

    Cock-sucking C-Sharp (programmers) ?

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Linus and Theo, separated at birth?

    Or Linus is just channeling Theo?

    How long 'til he starts channeling Hans though?

    Enquiring minds want to know!

  20. Keith Oborn

    I've seen the real Wanking Walrus

    - at San Diego Seaworld. Used its back flippers quite inventively, and caused a lot of kids to ask "Mummy, what's he doing?"---.

  21. Chronos

    How about...

    Tossing Torvalds? I'm surprised nobody has suggested it yet.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I hope Wanking Walruses only do it at home, we don't want to see that on our lunch breaks thankyou very much.

  23. Seanie Ryan

    and one wonders...

    why linux isnt taken seriously enough to be a threat to Windows/OS X

    When the rest of the business world they run the opposite direction with thoughts like ::

    "If i trust the operation of my business to linux, and this little upstart has another hissy fit at some stage and does something because he 'wants to' (foot stamping) then will i be left f$%ked"

    Real professional Linus.. real good. You showed them. Sink below everyone first. Winner!!!!

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Bishop Bashing Baboons,

    or, rembering our feminine side

    Fanny Fiddling Flaminigoes

    all aliteration ain't art y'know

  25. Craig McCormick
    Thumb Up


    I'll buy tickets to watch Linus and Theo bicker at each other for a while. It could end up as a marathon.

    My money would have to be on Theo though. He rocks!

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Well done

    Good on you Linus. Good to give these tossers a kick now and then.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ Seanie Ryan

    I have to agree. And the Linux old-schoolers ask rhetorically "Why is it Shuttleworth that gets to talk to Dell and Intel and is getting all the business mag column inches?"

    Why indeed.

    Linus doesn't seem to understand the responsibilities that come with his position. Either that or he doesn't care. Fortunately for Linux, its developer community and user base are large enough that Linus' "idiosyncrasies" matter little.

  28. Jack Garnham

    Continuing the animal theme...

    My proposal would be:

    "Todger-tugging Toucans"

  29. andy rock

    RE: and one wonders...

    the thing is; this guy writes stuff. and it works.

    same reason Theo De Raadt (and OpenBSD) is/are still taken seriously. the guy also knows exactly what he's on about and he mouths off even more than Torvalds.

  30. Anonymous Coward

    So obvious.

    Masturbating Mactards.

    Nuff said.

  31. Daniel

    hurrah for the ...

    ... Priapic Penguins!

  32. Anonymous Coward

    linux in the corporate world

    Linux - Enterpriser ready - just unprofessional in other ways

  33. This post has been deleted by its author

  34. Sam

    For the female contingent

    ..invisible Banjo playing Bitches.

  35. Graham
    Gates Horns

    @ Seanie Ryan

    Seanie (- which is the sort of name I would call a child)

    If talking software seriously gets us the Microsoft mess of today bring on the alternative.

    Vendor lock-in.

    Yeah we all want that!

    "Silly Seanie" (awww, bless :-)

  36. Adrian Jackson
    Jobs Horns

    @Seanie Ryan

    Absolutely. Linus needs to develop some of the basic social skills required for a successful professional in the IT world if anyone is to take Linux seriously.

    Perhaps he should start by practicing chair-hurling and screaming death threats at Google. That's the way market *winners* behave. No alliteration. No attempt at humour. Just obscenities and unchained agression.

  37. fishman
    Jobs Horns


    If some of you don't think this is "professional" acting, just go watch a video of Steve Ballmer.

  38. David

    @A. Lewis

    Did you mean Venereal Vultures?

  39. Anonymous Coward

    You know how many MBA/Manager types read the "unprofessional" linux mailing lists?

    About the same number who read all the whitepapers and technical reviews of software before buying it.

    Y'know, Frank, in Omaha. I think he might have a buddy, too. Not sure.

  40. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Chairs chucking chimpanzee?

    Walruses are tame compared to BillG and other microsoft employee emails. MS is now careful to destroy internal email promptly to avoid embarrassment.

    AFAIK, Linus and Theo have never thrown furniture at people. With that in mind, which operating system has the most professional looking leader?

  41. The Other Steve

    RE : Getting-in-touch-with-yourself GNU developers

    No no, for GNU you'd have to pick some tossy recursive acronym, like say :

    XIAAS Is An Ass Spelunker

    That breaks backward compatibility with alliteration (which is deprecated), but it might be fixed in a later version, if anyone can be bothered.

  42. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton

    @Flocke Kroes

    "With that in mind, which operating system has the most professional looking leader?"

    Solaris. Nothing beats Scott on in-line skates.

    Paris, because she would.

  43. A. Lewis
    Paris Hilton


    I was thinking venerous, meaning 'lustful'. But I think your term is probably more appropriate!

    Paris because... I really don't have to explain do I?

  44. Frank

    @Everyone and Anyone

    Could some kind person do a compilation, organised alphabetically ?

  45. steogede

    Masturbating Monkeys

    >> There is a definite theme developing here - Torvalds yesterday described OpenBSD

    >> developers as "masturbating monkeys".

    Dirty Devils, surely or Bishop Bashing Beasties

  46. Alan Esworthy

    auto-terminating perversion recursion

    Chicken chicken-chokers

  47. This post has been deleted by its author

  48. Trevor
    Dead Vulture

    Where is the

    Friday playmobile on this one eh?

  49. Steve Sherlock


    Grepped a 2.5.25 gentoo-r4 kernel source and got this:

    grep 'walrus' * -r

    Documentation/rbtree.txt: struct mytype *data = mysearch(mytree, "walrus");

    Seems Linus has a thing for the Walrus. Let's hope he doesn't take piccies and travel to the UK...

  50. HarshmanRob

    Digg users are Wanking Walruses!

    They just are.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: When will Thorvalds kill his wife ?

    Nah - she'd beat the tar out of him.

    Wasn't she the several-times Finnish karate (or judo?) champion?

  52. Chronos


    Bishop bashing blowfish, Shirley?

  53. Anonymous Coward

    It would be the last thing

    Linus ever tried. Tove is a six time Karate champion for Finland which means among other things that she can kill you faster than you can see. If anybody is going to die in that household it will be Linus hopefully no such deaths will occur. As for Digg wanking walruses is pretty tame most of them deserve a good beating maybe he'll sic Tove on them.

  54. Doug Glass

    Frivilous Forthwith

    I suppose Master Torvalds would refer to me as a Regular Randy Retiree since I Found Fabulous Fiber and subsequently discovered the delights Monstrous Morning Movements.

  55. JT2008
    Dead Vulture

    Stroking Solaris users?

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  56. Homard
    Paris Hilton

    @the lot of you !

    Ahh - if only there was a place be a child again .....

    Oh, here it is : El Reg. Thank you for the environment to errrr 'express' ourselves !

    Now as to Linus : did he ever think that Linux would be so big ? IMHO Linux was better when people didn't try to make is like m$. Maybe he feels the same way ? Prehaps the guy is caught up in it all, and can't make time for himself ?

    Here's a few (childish) acronyms :-

    BROWN : bullshitting retard overrated when new ...

    BLAIR : basically lost any innovation recently ...

    MICROSOFT : many interchangeable components of regurgitated obfuscated shitware offered for twits

    MAC : micro$oftoffice available completely ?? (;-P !!!)

    LINUX : long-term integrating new users eXtensively

    SCO : skullduggery compulsory objective

    SUN : seeks unknown nervana ?

    PRESCOTT : paraiah, regularly egged so coverered over then trashed

    DARLING : delerious arrogant requires locking in neverending grief

    LABOUR : low accountability bringing obvious unpopularity ratings !

    ahh thanks for indulging me !

    paris cos only she could post airhead crap like this !

  57. Anonymous Coward

    "Masturbating Monkey" & "Wanking Walrus"

    Sounds like Microsoft has copied Ubuntu's theme for OS releases and leaked the code names for upcoming versions of Vista Home Premium...

  58. le jono
    Gates Horns

    I seems

    That he has put alot of thought into that insult. "Wanking Walrus" brilliant, he probably thought it sounded good as a song title

  59. Simon Parmenter

    Women in IT?

    After reading all this?

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Proper term

    Vadge Vultures

  61. Anonymous Coward

    and not forgetting

    ...other future insults like Rimming Ravens and Felching Foxes,

  62. Ken Hagan Gold badge
    Gates Halo

    Re: and one wonders

    "If i trust the operation of my business to linux, and this little upstart has another hissy fit at some stage and does something because he 'wants to' (foot stamping) then will i be left f$%ked"

    True enough, although you and several million others will be left holding a copy of the source code of the system that you trusted, and some of you might be willing and able to maintain it. Whereas, if MS decide that the next version of Windows will break all your apps, like the last one, you just have to pick up the phone to BillG and tell him not to.

    Yes, Linux will never break through to corporate acceptance, because smart folks with MBAs just can't understand the notion of "software that they have some control over". They're convinced that they have to just trust someone, and then they look around for someone in a suit who they can trust.

  63. Turbo Beholder

    seems to be efficient

    At last, this method is widely used in its pure form...

    >> And to get wider distribution for this message:

    ...and quite honestly. Why some people have to use lame mimicry to spread their chain letters ?.. :]

  64. Marco van de Voort

    OpenBSD crowd, not devels

    The post names the OpenBSD crowd "Masturbating Monkeys", doesn't single out the devels themselves.

    I do agree with the general tenure of Linus' message on glorification of security "research". Even though I'm not a Linux fanboy.

  65. Zack Mollusc

    Wanking Walruses?

    So that is what the bukkit is for! Ew!

  66. Pete "oranges" B.


    "Nah - she'd beat the tar out of him."

    Wouldn't it make more sense to say that Linus would be beat out of the tar?

    (or perhaps into one?)

  67. Dive Fox


    Foxes don't felch, thanks.

    Faggot Foxes, maybe? Or have I spent too much time in Sadville?

  68. Mark
    Jobs Horns

    re: linux in the corporate world

    Unlike "I'm going to fucking KILL Google".

    yeah, real professional, monkey-boy.

    (this actually looks a lot more like SB than SJ)

  69. Kevin Daly

    It's an interesting naming convention

    Basically the Ubuntu release name scheme modified to suggest self-abuse (a bit redundant, but whatever). He's onto a winner there.

    I don't know who the next target will be, but I'm betting on the label being "Onanising Orangutans"

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