Boozers rejoice - it's the USB wine tap!

If a glass of plonk is your limit after a long day at the office, then you’d better not read on, because a tipple at your desk is now much easier, thanks to the fabulous French invention that is the USB Wine Tap. Can't see the video? Download Flash Player from Adobe.com This ingenious device will pour you a perfect …

[Elrond Hubbard]

Hilarious - but...

I remember this one doing the rounds late last year... so you should be trying to find faux usb-cheese gadgets by now.

[Ash]

France is teh winnar!

This is Twelvety Billions times better than that 1/4 tonne bottle opener.

VIVA LA FRANCE!

[Robbin Nichol]

Wont work on Vista

No drivers!

Paris cos she does French, apparently.

[Danger Mouse]

No Thanks

I'll wait for the USB London Pride version

Hic Up

[Andy Worth]

The ONLY funny thing about it....

....is that anyone even bothered to give it news space.

[Rob]

DOH

There was me thinking you attached a bottle of wine to it, and it served as a somewhat pointless powered pump, but it's actually even more useless

serves about as much a purpose as paris

[Kevin]

saddly.

some idiot will believe its really can pour wine from the internet.

[c price]

Sacre Bleu!

What a great invention!

Now, where do I get the CAMRA version from?

[c price]

@kevin

You mean that you can't download wine from the internet?

You'll be telling me next that I don't need to put the network cable in a bucket to catch the bits when I unplug the printer. That must be true, a tech support guy told me to....

[Rob]

I agree with Rob

There's got to be some potential there, i mean think how much more pissed you could get if all you had to do to refill your glass was push a button on a usb device linked to, maybe a box rather than a bottle, but still, i'd get one.

[Mark Lynch]

Stop moaning...

it's genius!

[Anonymous Coward]

Is there a German model for beer?

Are these going to be allowed on airliners?

[kissingthecarpet]

@Danger Mouse

How about the USB ESB version? - its a bit stronger than London Pride

[Chris]

Stop moaning you miserable sods

I mean really. Lighten up a bit guys, you didn't surf to the reg to get any work done, did you?

[Hugo]

"The people of France have made a joke"

"France has been investing heavily in humour development since the 1970s and the government has today revealed the first fruits of the scheme - a joke about a USB Wine Dispenser.

"France will be having another go at doing a joke in 2012."

http://www.idiottoys.com/2007/12/people-of-france-have-made-joke.html

[Mick Gower]

Only on MAC and Windows

I can't believe they have only made it Windows and Mac compatable. Shame it's not Linux campatable then it could run Wine.

[Kevin]

@c price

My comment was from having dealt with people on a daily basis that would buy this thing than scream at me when it didn't work just because they saw a video of it working on the internet, and would not listen to any rational explanation.

[Warhelmet]

I don't know...

I've seen battery powered corkscrews. A USB powered corkscrew/pump thing would be a pointless gadget but would probably do as well as other pointless USB powered gadgets.

Hmm, how about the re-invention of the SodaStream as a USB controlled alcopop maker?

Mine's the one with the bottle of Bulgarian red in it.

[Herby]

But does it do Napa Valley wines as well?

Look, if you want it to be "universal" it should work world wide. None of that yucky French stuff, only good California stuff for me.

Of course, if they had one for sodas or coffee, I would have signed up already.

I can see it now: USB Starbucks. You heard it here first!

[Pyros]

Aw...

I was hoping for the one that delivered beer to your desk!

Imagine the "intellectual copyright" battles the brewmakers would get into, however. Richard Stallman would become a legendary figure in THAT arena, I tell you!

Mine's the one with the code for Landshark on a CD in its inner pocket, thanks.

[Anonymous Coward]

USBeer?

What I also find hilarious is that it's called USBWine, not USBVin - isn't there a law prohibiting the use of languages other than French in the names of products? (so it really should be BSU Vin - vin du bus seriel universel, although not very sure about the frenchiness of the term "bus").

[David Pollard]

@ Robbin Nichol

"No drivers!"

I should jolly well hope not. Look for a .cab.

[Dave]

Bad Example

Surely it's not a good idea to mix drivers with alcohol? You ought to be OK on Vista though, that probably doesn't have a driver.

[kain preacher]

le froggie

"You mean that you can't download wine from the internet?"

ask linux people they do it all the time

- isn't there a law prohibiting the use of languages other than French in the names of products?

They try to balance it so that not to many words from a foreign language will dilute the purist language. That's a losing battle since so mane new tech products have English names that the were just giving them a french pronunciation such as le computor , in stead of computer. Recently they have even given that up.

[Geoff Mackenzie]

@Mick Gower

There is a FOSS driver. It's a work in progress, but makes excellent vinegar if you have USB1.1, and a single core processor. Toxicity is down since v0.3.97 as well.

[Sam]

A while back

..when I was in IT, with a friend I discussed simple matter stream information over the interweb, specifically BOIP..

Beer Over Internet Protocol.

One day....

[Steen Hive]

@Kevin

"some idiot will believe its really can pour wine from the internet."

The Internet is a seemingly inexhaustible source of poor whines.

[skeptical i]

I suppose the whisk(e)y tap ...

... would plug into the Fire(water) drive?

Mine's got the happy flask in the pocket.

[Charles Manning]

Of course you'd say it is fake!

You bastards don't even accept global warming is true!

I think there is a conspiracy here. You guys all have shares in the beverage market and don't want to see them undercut by this cool invention. No! You'd rather just dis this product without researching the facts. You're just a bunch of crybabies wishing you had invented this. Well guess what buddy the Truth is out. You can't stop progress even if you try.

I think it should also come in a British version that serves piss warm beer. Just run the beer through the CPU cooling to warm it up.

[Andrew Stone]

Coffee plugin

It isn't a new idea. Hugeglobalnet created an internet-based beverage delivery system more than 8 years ago

[Anonymous Coward]

If only

I want to believe.

[Mike Fishcake]

Actually...

As I explained on another forum when this topic was brought up...

After researching this, I've found that it's not a hoax, although there's more to it than meets the eye:

As well as the USB adapter, your computer needs to meet the Bluetooth V3.01 specification (not the traditional bluetooth) because the bandwidth provided by bluetooth 3.01 has sufficient bandwidth to manipulate the molecules of the "base liquid" (a "programmable" juice if you will) supplied by the manufacturers. You also need to attach a pump for the aforementioned base liquid to your computer, which needs to be plugged into the mains.

Although this technology is revolutionary, there hasn't been a "fanfare" release, as the manufacturers are trying to come up with anti-copying technology, due to already being under threat from "drink piracy". There are many P2P networks out there where the users are illegally trading wines and other usb-based alchoholic drinks. These programmes go by such names as GrapeTorrent, WineWire and BeerShare.

[W]

Previously on El Reg...

Careful now. We all know what happens when geeks get involved with wine:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/13/welsh_darth_vader_sentence/

Or even worse:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/04/18/el_reg_birthday/page4.html

[The icon is me doing the recycling at the bottle bank]

[Lukin Brewer]

@Actually, How about...

ePlonkey, Wazaa (*the* site for pirated Budweiser), PirateBayRum, Nipster, Dropster, Beaujolais Gnuvoux, Sherryaza, WinPX, Morepeeus or Juiced.

Or just download direct from Boozenet.

You could even go to one of the legit aggregators: RealAle-dio and QuickTimeGentlemenPlease (lots of cider there).