Legless Swede attempts to row home

A 78-year-old Swede has earned himself a place in hard-drinking lore by attempting to row home after a robust session in the Danish town of Helsingor - an ill-advised venture since it involved a 5km (3 mile) paddle across the Oresund Strait to Helsingborg. The unnamed amateur oarsman, having apparently soaked up a skinful, was …

[Kenny Millar]

Voice synthesis?

Ah, yes, you'll need an Apple Mac for that.

[Neil]

Something similar

A mate of mine once tried to row out to Hayling Island (the one near Portsmouth? I think it's called that) whilst rather inebriated, using a boat he found abandoned on a beach.

Turns out the boat was abandoned because of the large holes, causing him to sink and be rescued by a convenient coastguard.

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds like his autopilot kicked in

Good to see his autopilot is still functioning at such a ripe old age and he was more or less heading in the right direction while oblivious to everything around him. Can't say I can remember trying mine over water but I suppose that's the whole point of having it.

[Edward Rose]

Well,

You can't expect him to walk in that state can you.

IT Angle? For once they aren't blaming the SatNav for the 'mis-direction'?

[David Rollinson]

Respect

to our drunken Viking overlord!

[James Anderson]

Should have just walked.

He would have to wait till December though.

http://www.auschwitz.dk/Denmark.htm

[Alan Parsons]

The magic teacup.

Some friends and I perfected this in our latter teens/early 20s. The magic teacup is a revolutionary form of transport whereby at the end of an evening's entertainment one must consume all that remains in all visible glasses. This invariably leads to waking up at home, the only caveat being that you may have traded or at least parted with one or more items of clothing to get there.

[Dave]

Speech synthesis

Hey, I remember some of that early speech synthesis work (not necessarily Word Perfect, though). It didn't work very well for most words, but it would say smut words quite well (Err, does that indicate where the designer's minds were?).

Dave

P.S. Mine's the one with the tiny speaker in the lapel.

[Anonymous Coward]

Danish jokes

This doesn't surprise me. It's very common for the Swedes to pop over to Denmark to get trollied.

My girlfriend reckons that if you see anyone drunk in the street 90% of the time they're Swedes (9% they're Brits and the last 1% is Danes on the day Julebryg's released), so much so that there's a common expression in Denmark:

Keep Denmark clean - take a Swede to the ferry.

Some amused Dane probably suggested it to him as a good idea.

[Ian]

@Neil

He should have used the bridge, that takes you past the Ferry Boat Inn which (25 years ago anyway) did a very fine pint of HSB. The landlords daughter was a beautifully well built lass as well. Ah, memories...

[Fuzzy]

@ Alan Parsons

I have to agree, though we had a magic carpet Though the magic carpet would always get us home nice and safe it required payment in memories. The problem was it appeared to always take the memories from the person who was lhe most inebriated and who had made the biggest fool of himself.

Ah memories,...or the lack of them, those were the days

[Anonymous Coward]

Carpets? Teacups?!

You're all heretics! To deny the benificence of the beer scooter, so! Shame on you for constructing false rationalisations!

[Anonymous Coward]

@ Fuzzy

We have the beer scooter. In the wee small hours the beer scooter turns up to take you home. Normally, due to the speed at which it travels, you will fall off at least once and that is the cause of all those unidentified drinking injuries and the memory loss from concussion. You pay the driver, Bachus, with whatever cash you have left over but get a kebab chucked into the deal.