back to article Let air passengers smoke dope, say Denver potheads

A pro-marijuana group has come up with an ingenious plan to combat air rage - let passengers skin up before flying out of Denver International Airport (DIA) which has become "a hot spot for arrests of drunken, unruly airplane passengers", according to the Denver Post. Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation, aka SAFER, is …

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  1. Scott
    Coat

    T-shirt Logos

    I surpose as long as there not wearing a certain t-shirt with a truck shaped robot on it and instead have a picture of Bob with a spliff they'll be alright?

  2. Andy Worth

    Does that include the pilots?

    Because to be honest, the last thing that would calm my nerves is to be waiting for take-off and for the captain to make an announcement like:

    "Yeah....this is your captain speaking man......we'll be going to uhh.......shit......*rustling of paper*....ahh....Los Angeles, cruising at 35,000 feet. Fuck that's almost as high as me! *laughter trailing off as the microphone cuts off*"

    Although seriously, assuming it's just the passengers, they'd better stock up on a fuckload of peanuts because there'll be a major munchies-based riot if they run out!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    I can't wait to 'fly' out of Denver

    Now where was it I left my suitcase ?

  4. Alex Pinder
    Coat

    Brilliant!

    Anyone who has ever flown back from Amsterdam will know that flying wrecked-up is so much more relaxing, particularly if the flight is delayed

    Mines the one with the king-sized silver rizla in the pocket

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    May be a good idea

    However even if they made weed total legal in the state, the fact it is illegal on the federal leave will mean you can still get busted even if you are following state laws to the letter.

    Kind of thing we have to look forward to as slaves to the EU.

    "yes all nice you having these laws, but there not real.. really!"

    ./* Mines the one with "Free the Weed" on the back.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Turbulence Freaks?

    Smoking dope to calm passengers might work in clear air, but the mass freakout as the plane hit clear air turbulence would be hilarious to watch - from a distance.

  7. Simon
    Coat

    Title

    So they'd literally be as high as a kite...

  8. Mike

    Sounds like a plan

    a very good plan. At the least I should pack up and move to Denver...to fight the great twinkie war.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Pass the...

    skunk please!

  10. Mike Brown
    Alien

    planes?

    get them high enough and the passengers wont actually need the plane, they could just float to there destination.....

    alien: as if you squint real hard it sorta looks like a dope fiend!!

  11. Mark
    Alien

    Outside Security

    If the smoking lounge is outside of the secure area, that means one will not require a ticket to access said lounge?

    Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Like, far out man..

    Well the airlines will be all for it. Can you imagine how many snacks they'll shift when the munchies set in ?

    Actually I think Cheech and Chong missed this idea.

    "Dude, I am like so frikkin high man"

    "Frikkin-A. 35,000 feet man."

    "35,000 feet? crazy, man. Like that's a lot of shoes.."

  13. Jason Croghan
    Thumb Up

    At last some common sense..

    ...from the American'ts and their ridiculous drug war.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Which ...

    reminds me of what my old granny used to say:

    "Don't drink and drive, smoke dope and fly"

    Mine's the one with the rattly 35mm film can in the pocket.

  15. Steve Evans

    Smoking lounge...

    Ah the luxury... I'd be happy to just have somewhere to have a regular ciggi whilst waiting for my 4 hour delayed flight... And they wonder why I get stroppy!

  16. Eddie Edwards
    Pirate

    Won't somebody think of the children?

    What happens when some terrorists get hold of some of that LETHAL marijuana that Gordon Brown smokes? It'll be easy enough to get it through security, not being metal and all. Then you just have to threaten the plane with lethal marijuana blowbacks and it'll be 9/11 all over again.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Why smoke it?

    Wouldn't it be a lot healthier to eat it in a cake or omelette?

  18. Adrian
    Paris Hilton

    @Mark - Outside security

    As in the lounge before you go through the x-ray machine. Dopeheads there would probably confiscate the weed.

    @Andy Worth - pilots used to be more drunk than the passengers. Let's hope that is *not* the case here.

    I hear Paris likes a good cockpit

  19. Ash

    Gotta be careful

    Some make you giggly, some chill you out, some give you the fear.

    Smoke that last one and you'll spend the next four hours cuddling your headrest and crying into your hand luggage.

  20. Tawakalna
    Black Helicopters

    terrorists!

    how will this sit with Dubya and his poodles' claim that smoking weed encourages the wicked tewwowists? I don't want to be sparking up a doobie for the 3:15 from Torremolinos only to be gunned down or tasered *just in case* I'z a wicked terrorists cos me skin's a bit brown like?

  21. Anonymously Deflowered

    @Alex Pinder

    I beg to differ. I normally love flying but a recent trip back from Amsterdam after a particularly concerted effort to “use everything up before we go home” was utterly terrifying. Horrible. No, really.

  22. Darryl
    Thumb Up

    Better yet...

    Just pump the ganja smoke throughout the airport and into all the airplanes' cabins via the air conditioning. You'd have the most laid-back travellers in existence.

  23. Darkside
    Happy

    @ Title

    Yeah, herbal aviation... that's so cool.

  24. Neil

    I'm still amazed

    They haven't started chloroforming passengers on flights yet. Can't get agitated or hijack a plane if you're unconscious!

  25. Adam Foxton
    Joke

    @pass the skunk please! AC

    No! Don't do it! It's lethal, you know!

    Not sure about how good an idea this is unless the pilot's nicely secured away from the passenger's smoke. Still, can't see it being too horrendous a problem- so long as they actually allowed smoking on planes.... or smoking weed in the US....

    It COULD, however, be a practical proposition in the typically non-smoking environment of a plane if they were to make in-flight brownies available.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This should be compulsory

    If you fly Ryanair because at least you wont care when the plane jolts from one side to the other.

    Peace man

  27. Pyros

    Hrmm...

    I'm thinking it'll work a little differently--it'd be like a Crown Club lounge, only with security precautions. Basically, it might go like this...

    1) Passenger declares to security both dope and medical pass-of-note from certified doctor, officer checks the amount of dope to ensure that there's enought for, say, 2-3 smokes. (Pre-wrapped even better.) Security then hands passenger a ticket for passage and asks the passenger not to light up on the plane, due to saftey regulations.

    2) Passenger then heads to the Ganja Lounge, gets checked in with both medical pass-of-note and security ticket, and heads in for a light.

    3) Passenger then doesn't care enough to board plane.

  28. Jeff Flanadoo
    Thumb Down

    DIA Sucks

    I think the real reason that DIA is a hotbed of angry drunks is because the airport is horrible. Every flight out I have to wait to taxi (last time it was one hour on the tarmac). Every flight in I have to wait for a gate to clear up. That doesn't even mention the constantly malfunctioning trains that take you to/from the terminal or the bad layout of the main hall area. The saddest thing about DIA is that it's one of the newest airports in the US and it still has all these issues.

  29. Elmer Phud
    Unhappy

    Weight limit

    Considering a long-haul flight, would a box of Mars bars be classed as hand luggage?

    As for fear - if you know it's there it makes the turbulence more fun. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

    Bing Bong "Would all smoking passengers please go to the lounge. The flight is due to depart in fifteen minutes and the plane leaves a bit later." Bing Bong

  30. TimM
    Happy

    Drunk in Denver

    Quite easy to get drunk in Denver considering the altitude (Mile High City after all!), so not surprising the amount of drunks on the flight.

    Have to admit I've done it myself. Just a few beers in Denver airport and running to the flight on last call rather merry. Although security with their guns weren't too impressed.

    Though I find drinking on long flights a mistake. They stop serving beer after a while and by the time you're landing the hangover kicks in, so prey for a gentle landing!

    Dope would be good though. But priority should be given to kids and any another annoying people so they hopefully sleep through the flight.

  31. John Benson
    Coat

    Douglas Adams (of blessed memory) already predicted this

    I believe it was on the planet Frogstar: long-bearded passengers strapped into seats and sedated via IV, resuscitated for a minute or two every few years to hear the recorded announcement that the flight would be leaving momentarily...

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Why smoke it?

    Because if you eat it, it'll take an hour or so to kick in, and you might freak out (man) on the plane

    I think its a grand idea, i think they should do something similar on the trains here in england, have a "tokin section", drinkin on the trains OK but smokin a bifta would be so much better

  33. Chris C

    I'm in the minority

    Based on the comments here, it looks like I'm in the minority, but speaking personally, I think this is a very bad idea. As AC pointed out above, it is likely that at least some of the "high" passengers would freak out when the plane hits turbulence, and would cause much more of a scene than any non-stoned-but-afraid-to-fly person.

    And speaking as a non-smoker, I don't want to be sitting anywhere near someone who felt the need to light up before boarding. I personally hate the smell and (from the people lighting up around me during concerts in my younger days) the effects of the drug. If it was possible to restrict the odor and effects to the person smoking, it would be a different story, but as far as I'm aware, that's not possible.

    Perhaps we need to redesign airplanes to be more like the shuttle in Fifth Element. Instead of seats, have horizontal sections where people lay down and are automatically put to sleep for the duration of the flight. Quieter, less stress for everyone, and much lower chance of terrorist threat (had to throw that in to satisfy the "But think of the terrorists!" and "But think of the children!" people).

  34. Stephan Samuel
    Happy

    Hardly...

    DIA's a great airport. If you don't like it, you haven't spent enough time at JFK. People are drunk here because drinking and drugs are a habitual thing in Denver: we have the highest rate of alcohol-related arrests of any city in the country and there's a continual push in all areas of political activism to legalize pot.

    Granted, some people partake way to obsessively. :)

  35. Steven Raith
    Dead Vulture

    Bad move

    Because I'm a bad passenger on any kind of transport these days - so lots of people constantly giggling about how the clouds are changing shape would undoubtedly lead me to

    MASSACRE EVERYONE, TURNING THE CRAFT INTO A PRESSURISED AIRBORNE SLAUGHTERHOUSE

    Mines the one that I left in the departure lounge after knocking back the valium and double vodka...

    Steven R

    Bleeding vulture, because that's the very best you would look after giggling like a twat for thirty minutes in an enclosed space with me!

    PS: The above post may be a *slight* exaggeration :-)

  36. kain preacher

    Naomi Cambell

    Think it would work for her ???

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @I'm In The Minority

    Yes, you are.

    "As AC pointed out above, it is likely that at least some of the "high" passengers would freak out when the plane hits turbulence, and would cause much more of a scene than any non-stoned-but-afraid-to-fly person"

    Now, this might be where I'm in the minority, but I've met a LOT of potheads, and I've not actually encountered one that "freaked out". I've seen a fair few people "whitey"* (smoke too much, they go a ghostly shade of white, start being sick, etc), and they're nothing to worry about if turbulence hits, just leave them in the corner rocking gently. Aside from that, the worst thats going to happen, is a fit of the giggles (no matter how bad the situation). I remember my first bong, it was supposed to be packed for four people, and I cleared it (I didn't know what I was doing). I couldn't have freaked out if I wanted to! I spent half an hour coughing my lungs up, and the next hour laughing constantly, at nothing in particular. I miss those days.

    But anyway, I digress. The only people who "freak out" when getting high, are the kind of people who "freak out" even when they're not high. The kind of people who take two tokes, say "whoa, man", and think they are part of the revolution.

    *To this day, I've never whitied. Anyone who thinks they can outsmoke me, let me know - you're wrong.

  38. mad clarinet
    Coat

    Denver....

    Ah yes, thats the same place where my girlfriends grandma's flight was diverted to after a woman started smoking on the flight (drunk and also assaulted an air steward).....

    Probably Denver was the best place for her to end up in (and people thought T5 was a problem).

    Mines the one with the BAA logo

  39. P. Lee
    Black Helicopters

    So many comments

    and not one person suggesting the solution to drunkenness is to remove the alcohol.

    Ah yes, money made from alcohol sales > money lost by dealing with drunk people. When the problem is a result of an ongoing business decision, my sympathy wanes fast.

    There are other improvements which could be made to reduce air-rage. Knocking the back of the seat in front should result in a strong electrical charge being passed through the seat behind. They could also ban anything in the cabin which makes a repetitive noise which isn't silenced by using headphones and the giving of sweet/processed food to children.

    It ain't time to chill, there are freakin' Spiders on the Plane!

  40. Adrian Esdaile
    Black Helicopters

    Have you seen the murals in Denver Airport?

    Just looking at the design of Denver Airport, and the mighty scary murals in particular, I think someone was already into the MaryJane in Denver.

    I would think that doing some skunk then seeing those murals would give a very, very bad trip indeed!

    "whoa man, the dead babies and Skeletor were there to see me off"

    http://www.anomalies-unlimited.com/Denver/Page4.html

    "Are you my mummy?"

    Note that Denver Airport feeds a massive number of conspiracy-theorist websites; the architect must have had a ball putting all the swastikas, masonic symbols and wierd keypads all through it... OR WAS IT "THEM"?

  41. Jon Tocker

    Poor fucking Terrorists!

    You smuggle your box-knives, manicuring scissors, 101ml bottles of liquid and C4-padded jacket onto the plane, wait until you're in the air and make your bid:

    You whip out your weapons, take control of the flight crew and scream "We're taking over this flight"...

    And all the passengers look at each other then back at you and go "BWAAAhahahahahahaha! Trippy, man. Far out." and won't stop giggling or laughing.

    That'd just fuck your "Terror" campagn, wouldn't it.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    What's with Plastic Handcuffs....?

    Are they not asking for trouble using sex toys as restraints?

  43. Melonfish
    Happy

    Crying Baby Ma'am?

    Here, give him this cookie ;)

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    hmmmmm

    So not only do I have to put up with a plane full of people who stink of smoke, and weed, but they will also be stealing my sandwich.

    Big no for me - I don't mind people getting high, I just hate the smell of fags and weed. Now, if they worked out a way of getting it into your system faster as food or something, I will give the project my support!!!

  45. TrishaD

    Eight Miles High

    And when you touch down......

    (just for the nostalgic old buffers).....

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    people, people, please!

    It's in the interest of everybody's safety that the pilot gets very high very quickly.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @hmmmmmmm

    Vaporizer!

    I can't wait till they can create a proper freebaseable/mainlineable form of weed though, that'll do wonders for the population

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    @Mark

    What are you thinking?

    Please return to your seat return to your seats. RETURN TO YOUR SEATS RETURN TO YOU SEATS...

    Denver Airpot is a shit hole and You would need Thorazine to want to fly out of or into it.

  49. Chris Fleming
    Coat

    Chris F

    "Rocky Mountaing High..." John was way ahead of his ahh just forgot.

    Mine the one with the secret pockets.

  50. Pyros
    Thumb Up

    I've been to Denver Intl many times...

    ...and believe me, it's still a *huge* upgrade from the old Stapleton-Denver Airport!

    The upper floors are worth the tram issues, including the food courts.

    Now let's see if you like Milan's Terminal 5... >)

    ( re: Adrian--they painted over those roughly a month after the unveiling. You won't find them in Denver Intl anywhere now.)

  51. THOMAS STEWART VON DRASHEK
    Pirate

    There Was Time You Could....

    Back until 1980 it was possible to smoke pot in bathroom of plane, plenty of people did. In airport NOT so good. After flight landed you got questioned bit by on flight stewardess (all left handed qwerty word) (qwerty too is all left handed & first 6 letter from upper left keyboard). Anyway worlds funny place, yet today you'd be removed of your ticket & arrested, spending weeks at least in Jail, maybe even hospitolized & recieve extensive treatments, even Death, is it worth it?.

    Signed:PHYSICIAN THOMAS STEWART VON DRASHEK M.D.

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