Biggles battles Yanks for right to sport tash

An RAF pilot has won the right to sport his traditional handlebar whiskers while on a posting with a US squadron by citing Queen's regs at a tash-hostile American general, the Telegraph reports. Chris Ball and his handlebar moustache. Pic: MOD Flt Lt Chris Ball (pictured), who normally flies Tornado GR4s from RAF Lossiemouth …

[Jonny F]

Flt Lt Chris Ball, we salute you.

Makes you proud to be British.

Fly right, Lt Ball.

[Philip Cheeseman]

Three cheers for Flt Lt Chris Ball

And a cup of tea on me...

[jai]

hurrah!

one in the eye for the sceptics! yay! that'll teach them for dumping our tea in the harbour!!

this is more like the kind of news we expect on a friday, i was getting quite worried that so many articles on the Reg today were serious, i thought maybe it was really thursday.

now, where's our friday afternoon Playmobile Porn?

[XML slave]

Doesn't Surprise

I've had the privilege to work with some of the Canadian RAF and the Queen's RAF, and tis true they do get to sport far more magnificent stash's than we do. The USAF requires the edges of our mustaches not to extend beyond the corner of the lips, and cannot hang below said point. So unless you've got a yap like Jagger's, an American soldier has to make do with a tiny diminutive lip ferret.

Luckily for all, in the US military it's becoming less and less fashionable to sport the stash. We always have those diehard twits that won't let go though.

To the fellow who fought for his stash: Three Cheers for sticking to the Queen's rule, and for supporting extremely bad taste on your face! :)

Icon because I know they're coming to trim my sideburns.

[Jack Harrer]

Lt Ball...

Has some Balls.

//coat please

[alistair millington]

Nice one!

And nice one for the US general for not kicking him out the squadron after having his rank and level of power questioned by a Brit.

[Not Swampy]

Jolly good show old boy.

Just adding "tache growing" to my list of sports to send to Sir Seb for inclusion in 2012 Olympiad, we have a gold medal certainty and he's an amateur to boot.

This is exactly the type of story that makes reading El Reg on Fridays worthwhile.

[Anonymous Coward]

I salute your...

...right to look like a prick.

Chocks away!

[Simon Painter]

IT angle?

I am going to pre-empt the "IT angle" crowd and say this:

There is no need for an IT angle when Her Madge's boys are trumping the septics with their superior facial hair. Let's have more stories about officers from our Queen's armed forces demonstrating their beards, 'taches and mutton choppers to johnny bloody foreigner.

[Frank Bough]

@jai

That's SEPTICS not sCeptics. Doesn't really work if you get it wrong.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well done Sir!

Generations of RAF flyboys salute you! Any chance you can buzz the tower on a fly-by as well, spilling this septic tank's coffee in the process?

Excellent story for a Friday Avo.

[Ron Eve]

"Biggles Flies Undone!"

<harrumph>

Says it all I think....

[Andy Taylor]

A triumph for common sense

Not only that Flt Lt Ball gets to keep his 'tache, but the concept of putting British pilots into USAF planes must surely be to reduce British forces casualties on the ground.

[Peyton]

One question

Does anyone know the actual reason for the strict regulation of mustache size for fighter pilots?

[Mad Mike]

Jonny F

'Fly right Lt Ball'.

Using normal printer spelling makes this light ball in the same way as 'Lt Cyan' etc.

How dare you insult our flyboys. I'm sure his equipment is perfectly heavy.

[Anonymous Coward]

That's probably why the Village People preferred the Navy

The air force didn't allow the bigger moustaches that they were so fond of.

[Bruce Leyden]

Tash?

Tash? Tosh. Try 'tache.

[Anonymous Coward]

re: One Question

So that they get a good seal on their face mask.

[Sean]

Facial Hairies of the world Salute you

Far too many companies/organisations have tried to wage war on face hair. Never understood why so many men wanted to forgo the joys of facial topiary in favour of baby soft cheeks.

Can't believe no one has gone for a Hairier Jump Jet comment and am not sure I should even attempt to link Paris and Beards in polite company.

[Steve Mann]

And NO Returns

@ Ron: Well it did in 1965.

@ Andy Taylor: Well said. I will never forget what that mealy-mouthed bastard Donal Rumsfeld said on the first day of hostilities in Afghanistan, upon being asked how he felt about the "friendly fire" incident in which a US pilot completely wiped out a force of (unresisting) British commandos.

"They shouldn't have been there".

Way to encourage others to join what was then a coalition of exactly two nations Donny-boy. Way to accept responsibility for a stupid mistake and show the world we weren't just a bunch of playground bullies with an over-inflated sense of our own abilities Donny Lackabrain. Way to say "Thanks for answering the call British Servicemen" Donny F*ckwit.

[Red Bren]

Watch your back, Flt Lt!

There might be some "friendly" fire with your name on it...

I also hope he insisted they pronounce his rank correctly!

[Graham Dawson]

@Peyton

"Does anyone know the actual reason for the strict regulation of mustache size for fighter pilots?"

Modern regulations presumably account for the fact that fighter pilots will invariably be wearing an oxygen mask, though whether the limits are to prevent a risk to a proper seal or just the possibility that the wearer might get a nasty rash I cannot say. The Queens Regs date from a time when having a moustache was considered a bit dashing and extremely fashionable, and all the officers, being posh types, simply would not part with them. So they regulated em instead.

[Neil]

@ Peyton

You think the armed forces need a reason for ridiculously stringent regulations concerning the minutia of servicemen's lives?

[Aaron Harris]

Length of Tash

I believe the facial hair issue is to do with the snug fit of the oxygen mask, more fuzz equals greater chance of asphyxiation. Lucky for us the jolly Brit fly boys don’t need that overrated oxygen stuff to maintain air superiority!

[Dave Bell]

A sad day for the RAF

So it's true.

We don't have enough aircraft, so we have to cadge flying time off of the yanks.

Mind, the F15 is a very nice place. It does a really good one-engine taxi at air shows.

[Christian Cook]

I am failing to accurately picture the showdown...

without a Playmobil reconstruction.

[Geoff Mackenzie]

@Peyton

Drag.

[Andy G]

Good Lad ! ! ! !

Get em told !! Tally-ho ! !

now the next item on Lt Ball's list should be:

" Tower, this is Ghostrider requesting fly by "

hehehehe

/ now where's my biggles cap ??

[Joseph Boren]

Sweet 'stash

Just in case our UK cousins didn't know;

These days in the US only two types of men wear that kind of stash;

Cops and gay porn actors.

You could also add wannabe cowboys, but most of them fall into the second group.

My apologies if there are still any actual cowboys out there sporting a bad-ass handlebar (my grandpa was one), but real cowboys are about as common as honest politicians these days.

Just doing my part to sponsor trans-Atlantic cultural understanding.

Cheers

Joe

[Big Al]

So...

So he bristled with indignation did he?

Mine's the hair shirt...

[Seán]

POE

The people with the facehair notions have weapons and that's all paid for by taxpayers instead of beer. What's wrong with beer?

[Simon Painter]

@Peyton

"Does anyone know the actual reason for the strict regulation of mustache size for fighter pilots?"

I would expect it would be similar to the rules for firefighters: to ensure a tight seal between the face and the breathing equipment. Boring details though.

I prefer the reason that Naval Officers cannot grow moustaches, and are limited in their choice to full beards, substantial porky choppers or clean shaven faces. Apparently it has to do with Queen Victoria being so distraught by the loss of her moustachioed husband that she banned the officers of her Navy from sporting similar facial attire.

I feel the urge to stand to attention, wave a Union Flag and fire some cannons at those pesky frenchies.

[Simon Painter]

@ Andy Taylor && @Steve Mann

And who killed the most British forces in Gulf War 1?

a) Iraq

b) USA

Yes, the answer is "b".

[Charles Tsang]

Seals

According to Richard Marcinko's autobiography, SEALs can't have moustaches because of the face mask.

I don't know how much difference it makes in a high altitude environment because I can see how for SEALs, there would be water coming in which would either make you clear the mask (making for bubbles which defeats the object of having a rebreather) or impaired vision.

Do we have anyone with high altitude experience with imperfect air masks?

[Ed Sexton]

I thought it was compulsory

Having never met a real RAF pilot i'd assumed that growing a tache was compulsory to the job? Much like if you're in the army you have to shave your head.

Now that this story has told me that it's optional i feel that you've just destroyed my romantic notions of our boys in the air. Never again will i listen to 'take my breath away' with the same pride and admiration.

[Neil Cooper]

Yes I remember the stats

Apparently we lost 12 pilots in GW1. 8 of those were to US 'friendly' fire.

[paul bell]

which CO?

does anyone actually know if it was the USAF CO who said that, or the RAF CO who was trying to be completely PC about the matter?

in my (actual) experience in the USAF, including time based at RAF Lakenheath, i find it highly unlikely that any CO or pilot, on either side would give a big rat's ass about anything except how well they could fly. to be sure, it might attract some flak in the"O" club but that's about all. for example, i used to wear climbing boots whilst flying and after a bit the CO stopped ragging me about it. fly the airplane, keep your nose clean and don't make waves!

as for me, if such facial ornamentation was good enough for spitfires & mosquitoes (now there was a real airplane) it should be good enough for an airplane that doesn't even have a propeller.

FWIW: USAF squadron COs aren't usually general officers - of course there are surely some exceptions.

-paul

[Anonymous Coward]

Good...

so we can recognize the English poodle in future war on terror flicks.

[Peyton]

Thanks for the answers!

I thought about the seal idea, but I kinda figured they might make them be completely clean shaven for a reason like that. Or at the least, his CO would've been like "erm, while it is impressive, the US standard issue gear can't accommodate your moustache, and you'll die" or some such reasoning.

@Neil - The military *always* has a reason for doing what they do... it's just rarely a *good* reason.

@Geof - ROFL

[Anonymous Coward]

@ Steve Mann

Donny R was always big on taking personal responsibility for those under his command. Look at how he resigned on principle at the appalling behaviour of interrogators at Abu Ghraib!

Oh, wait...

[Graham Marsden]

A moustache...

... isn't a proper moustache unless it can be seen from behind!

- Old RAF proverb.

[Anonymous Coward]

@By Joseph Boren

may were your at, but even the gay cops in SF have facial hair. Almost every cop I've seen in the last 5 years has been clean shaven.

[RW]

The real reason

The USAF rule about moustaches is just another skirmish in the war against deviancy, including, but not limited to, hippies, dope smokers, bearded hippies, Godless liberals, non-believers, etc.

A significant fraction of the US population tries its very best to resist time's relentless thrusting of them into the future. Thus, you see aged, retired engineers still sporting an 1960-vintage buzzcut as a way of saying "I repudiate the future."

Another example comprises the young Texas matrons who run around wearing pastel headbands and Big Hair, for all the world as though fashion had stopped in its tracks in 1970.

I think the underlying cause is a bad case of future shock, as described lo those many years ago by Alvin Toffler.

Paris, because there's a gal who happily embraces the future -- and everyone in it.

[trackSuit]

Now that guy is in *one hell* of a rush.

A little humour there, from / for RAF 1 Squadron Linemen and others?.

They are humourists and love their jobs. Their humour is QuITe specialised and rather Pythonesque at times.

Here are some more Linemen having fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leacw8H8Lrk

Still, flying Tonkas and sporting a tache, eh? -bon skillage!

Oh! Is that the time? -I *must-dash*.

[Andrew Gore]

Must be a jet pilot, indeed.

Seems that the 'tache is quite a thing for them:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1BzU1sYPjzo

[Paul Tomblin]

Spot the reference:

"Brief on shun is better than QR"

[Anonymous Coward]

lies damn lies

lies damn lies and stistics can t you see that enviro-marxist do-gooders are building mosks on every corner because they government is lying to us when will gordon have another war it s political correctness gone mad

[Anonymous Coward]

Just needs...

...leather hot pants to set off that gay velcro.

Mwah!

[Anonymous Coward]

handlebar moustache?

call that a handlebar moustache? i've seen bigger than that on a prepubescent aussie cricketer. pah! - jimmy edwards must be spinning in his grave!

[Anonymous Coward]

@Jonny F

"Makes you proud to be British."

And as a proud 'tash sporter I must say I be ashamed to be 'merican. 'Tis a sad day when a man have not the freedom to bear manly facial fuzz...

[Tim99]

@ paul bell

Good comment paul.

As an aside - Flying types who swore allegiance to the King/Queen tend to call the kit an "aeroplane" or, if you don't have a classical education, an "aircraft". My father was an aircrew Flt. Lt. in WWII - He got upset about things like that...

A bit of fatherly advice was "Try to avoid leaving an aeroplane by parachute, unless the aeroplane is on fire". So far, I have not needed to follow this as a regular passenger on 747s.

[Wayland Sothcott]

So General Burnside would have to shave?

Americans have some famous facial hair. However some of the tashes in Wyatt Earp were a bit over the top: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LRVhtVCfzo8 They would have suited John Major.

[paul bell]

The Real Reason

Jeez, guy, you really need to stop believing everything you see on the telly and on the web. This is a biggish place over here, populated by a few hundred million people, every damm one of them an individual. The country is not the government, the people are the government and the country; the rights of the individual will not be infringed upon, and that includes the right to make a fool of yourself, and the right to voice your opinion, however hateful and stupid that opinion might be. The cure for hate speech is to let it reach the widest possible audience, not to pass laws against it. Again, the people will be the judge.

In “The American Magic – Codes, Ciphers and the defeat of Japan”, Ronald Lewin quotes Harold Laski, writing in his work, “The American Democracy” - “There is something in the psychological climate of America which resists any ultimate regimentation of behavior or opinion. Something always escapes the net which is thrown about the people. Non-conformity is an element in American life which is always called into being by the spectacle of conformity. What Emerson called “this din of opinion and debate””.

We value these principles very highly indeed, as do the millions who flock here every year; not a few from blighty. We get very upset when someone tries to deny these rights; usually the politicians who sometimes seem to believe these rights are reserved for them. from time to time it becomes necessary to take matters into our own hands and remind them that the constitution of this country outlines what the people will allow the government to do, not the other way around. One of the articles in the constitution provides the ultimate right to set them straight, namely the right to bear arms. Many people around the world don’t agree with this right, many of them right here, and many in governments all over the world; again, here too. Perhaps that’s why we prize these rights so highly, because they protect us from those “good” people who know better than we what’s best for us.

Of course we sometimes get lazy and become complacent, but in the end, we always sort them. so far it hasn't come to arms, but that possibility might help keep the politicians in line.

In the words of Patrick Henry, “I know not what course others may take, but as for me, Give Me Liberty or Give me Death.” It’s not just pretty sounding words, many of us really do feel that way. you guys used to feel that way as well - can you say Churchill in the same breath with Blair & Brown - perish the thought!

-paul

[tony trolle]

@Sweet 'stash

you forgot Mexicans, they like a 'tash. Where as the other type of facial hair in SoCal is the form of a 'goatie' but porn stars and police; yes about right. :-)

[TrishaD]

@tim99

''As an aside - Flying types who swore allegiance to the King/Queen tend to call the kit an "aeroplane" or, if you don't have a classical education, an "aircraft". My father was an aircrew Flt. Lt. in WWII - He got upset about things like that...'

I imagine that Flt Lt Ball calls his a 'kite' ....

Love

Worrals.......

[Mike Fortey]

When you're stuck like glue...

"Let's have more stories about officers from our Queen's armed forces demonstrating their beards..."

Beards aren't allowed on officers, AIR. Only Sergeants in Pioneer platoons. As regards facial hair breaking the seals of masks, as any fuzzy faced diver will tell you; this problem is easily avoided by using wax or vasoline.

[Samantha Clinton]

Hmmm...

'Ball's tash was spared the chop'

I really ought to retrieve my mind from the gutter...I have a mental image I could really do without at lunchtime...

[Tim99]

@ TrishaD

"I imagine that Flt Lt Ball calls his a 'kite' ...."

Only if he was "Shooting a line"

[Freddie Frog]

@Paul Tomblin

Prevention is better than a cure

-My Word.