A fantastic first effort
Human misery stories are so entertaining. I hope to read many more of them on here.
Yesterday my esteemed colleague kindly offered the Reg readership a place to pour out your hearts, and so you copiously did, proving once and for all what a deeply sad distressed bunch you are. I invited you to gaze into the abyss, and it prompted some bewilderment as to the breakdown of the supposed acronym VOID... well, I …
Usenet Oracle vs The Moderatrix - FIGHT
No contest, in my opinion. The Moderatrix wins on the following counts:
1. Is female
2. Is not beardy
3. Does not think wearing shorts to work is an acceptable fashion choice for men
4. Does not collect ancient Sun kit
5. Fights dirty
Cease and desist before you get spanked.
Happy POETS day, all.
Why do women go to the loo in pairs?
I mean, if you're both having a few drinks and they happen to hit your bladders at about the same time, that's understandable. And if it's an excuse to get away from the blokes and have a private chat, that's fine too. But when two women head into the same *stall* together...?
Yes, yes, I know one possible explanation - but sadly for the state of men's fantasies, that probably doesn't match up with the statistics. So is it just they just feel such a need to gossip that they can't bear to stop even when they're having a slash? Or is there some deeper female conspiracy at work here which needs to be revealed? Sadly the few people who maybe could tell us have been arrested for drilling holes in toilet walls and aren't in a position to provide information. So can the Moderatrix enlighten us on what's going on here?
Some friends of mine are a couple, both female (and both hot, which is great, unfortunately they've never invited me for "that sort of evening".... bah!), and they've told me about the local "specialist sexual orientation catered for" nightclub they frequent actually has "twin stalls" in the ladies, specifically for that sort of shenanigans.
(Paris, as I'd imagine she'd be quite popular there...)
>The Arctic rodents were in fact fitted up as mammalian Cobains by Disney, whose photographers actually drove a herd of the helpless creatures over a Canadian cliff for the wildlife "documentary" White Wilderness in 1958.
Why can't I tell if you're being serious or not? Have I really descended to such levels of cyncism that I can believe The Mouse is EVIL? What happened to the <irony />?
Fantastic piece - more please!!
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this is only the first step on the path to Reg readers meeting up in the big bad IRL, drinking beer, sleeping on one another's couches and interfering with their unmentionable areas. And I ain't talking bad boot blocks, people. Is this what you want? Really? Take one look at the photos from the Reg birthday booze-up for an inkling of what that particular future holds...
@Andrew Oakley: look further into your memories of the Oracle and you'll doubtless encounter Lisa, the original net.sex.goddess, of whom this is actually an inferior clone. Good call on the *ZOT*, mind you
What is even more disturbing is that henceforth, whenever I wait with that frisson of nervous and slightly moist excitement to see whether the Moderatrix will Approve my dubious and desperate choice of title or will merely Cast Me Into Utter, Utter Darkness, I will always experience a flashback to that first fresh first printout of file LISA.LISA ...
I am told by a female friend of mine (yes, there are two, TWO, geeks here who have hot female friends), that girls go into a stall two at a time because there is usually a queue in the toilet and it guarantees the second gal can get into the stall without having to battle the queue too much.
It's the equivalent of buying two pints at once I guess....although I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that comparison...
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Beats me, I dont have first hand knowlage of this....and fingers crossed never will. For all I know its a vicious crazy stampede in there! Infact...knowing a couple of my ex's I wouldnt be too suprised if there was violence and kicking involved with the whole 'female queueing in the loo' deal.
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