back to article NZ bank robber stashes loot where the sun don't shine

A NZ bank robber who stashed the NZ$2,000 proceeds of a heist up his tradesman's entrance was fingered by "rustling sounds" from his "bottom area", the Southland Times reports. Michael Geoffrey Linn, 36, unemployed, yesterday admitted in the Alexandra District Court to robbing the Cromwell branch of the Bank of New Zealand on …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Daniel Bennett

    Oooh Dear

    Sh*t Happens eh!

  2. Daniel Wilkie


    What an arse of a robbery attempt that was!

  3. Hollerith

    so he took off his clothes

    Do we presume he had a change of clothing with him, or was he nicked in the nude? In which case, the police officers should have been able to spot the cash rather sooner than they did.

    Presumably now his troubles are over, as he will be vacationing for a couple of years at taxpayers' expense.

    But that crisp new NZ currency did not deserve to die.

  4. Tom

    Plastic money

    I thought New Zealand notes where plastic? if so that may have been pretty uncomfortable, not saying that a fist full of paper cash up the backdoor wouldnt hurt, just plastic would be a whole new level.

  5. Elmer Phud

    Bum rap or piles of cash

    Cattle rustling I've heard of but arse rustling?

    Or maybe it was him putting money where he usually speaks from.

  6. Pete

    New Zealand police...

    suspect that more of the loot may be hidden up the thief's rear end. When asked by a reporter about the current situation, the Chief of police commented "The last time we looked there was no change".

  7. Nick Palmer

    I can imagine that...

    ...papercuts'd be especially nasty... *shudder*

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm glad

    they got to the bottom of that one

  9. Johnny G

    @ Tom

    If it was plastic, it could have just been wiped clean rather than destoyed. The cash I mean, not his arse.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old saying

    Pecunia non olet, or do they?

  11. Mr B


    as in rounding, up and stealing ???

    /mine's the one with latex gloves.

    Sorry Elmer I could not resist the round & up.

  12. ImaGnuber


    Destroyed? Haven't the NZ Police heard of money laundering?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's going to need laundering

    Oh dear.

  14. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    No Comment

    No comment , it speaks for itself !

  15. An-D

    Gives a new meaning

    To the term 'Arse Bandit'

    /mines the one with the feather boa

  16. Anonymous Coward


    ...the most compelling evidence against the suspect came after he was fingered during the identity parade.

  17. bluesxman

    pathetic punning

    If only he hadn't stuffed it up, the law wouldn't have fingered him and he'd have made a clean getaway.

    I'm going, I'm going ... wonder if there's a job for me at The Sun.

  18. Ted Treen

    I'm sorry

    The cheek of it: still, at least NZ Plod got to the bottom of it very quickly.....

    OK, I'll leave quietly...

    Mine's the very loud oversized check pattern, with the plastic squirty flower in the buttonhole....

  19. ahahaha you won't catch me that easy again

    wonder if...

    ...the $2k was in loose "bowels"??

    mine's the first one that comes

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I never done it officer

    I just have a rich diet.

    So thats where I put my inheritance.

    I'm a stripper it and this was a tip.

    So you snort coke the other end, that's what I've been doing wrong all these years.

    Well I had to put it somewhere I took all my clothes off and burned them.

    I really do shit money.

    I offered the money to a pretty girl and she told me where to put it.

    I'm innocent I tell you, innocent!

  21. Andrew Moore


    ...It was only $1998- according to the robber he "asn't feeling too grand..."

  22. Elmer Phud

    @Mr B

    Sorry? nah, ambiguity is the meat of the Reg readers (no, not knob meat, cow meat). It sure gives 'piles of money' a different meaning.

    Still it was a great crack for a while but got a bum deal out of it in the end.

    Still, not many would have had the cheek, though it's an ill wind etc.we tc.

    "Would sir like to leave a small something as a deposit"

    Innuendo - why does it always sound as if it means something else?

  23. Morten Ranulf Clausen

    Lucky bastard

    Imagine the pain if the take had been higher.

    Or coins only. Being put in the clink for clinking. Oh the humanity.

    OK, off to the pub lads, my trousers are full so the next one's on me...

  24. Anonymous Coward

    @Mr. B

    It's stealing, rounding, and up (up and awaaaaay)...

    Mine's the one with the credit cards only - I don't handle cash

  25. James O'Brien


    At least when he told the NZ Plods to "Go Fu*k themselves" they could reply that he didnt have enough sh*t to pay with.

    /get me a beer and Ill be on my way

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Look on the bright side

    After that little performance, he'll be a very popular boy in prison.

    I'd have gladly paid him two grand to get a front row seat.

  27. EnigmaForce

    @ Tom

    It's very paper-like plastic :-)

    And I see the "arse-bandit", ahem, crack, has already been made. Curses.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @ ImaGnuber


    @at the rest of you


  29. Ishkandar

    Does that mean that the NZ Plods'...

    ... quick probe was successfully concluded ?? Well, no one can accuse them plods of taking a very lax(ative) attitude to crime !! All's well that ends well, eh, lads ??

  30. Ishkandar

    These day... can't keep your money safe anywhere !!

  31. DG

    Apparently he was taken ill just after the money was recovered.

    He said he wasn't feeling two grand.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Dirty sexy money?


  33. Shaun

    Too bad for him...

    ...that they didn't let him keep the money in the end.

  34. Shaun


    A bit rich, on the (w)hole, I'd say

  35. Scott Mckenzie


    Let's hope it was:

    a) All in notes

    b) Not $1 bills

    For his sake!!

  36. Peter Gold badge

    Did I miss anything?

    Sticky fingers (aargh)

    You can NOT take that to the bank

    A real hold-up

    He's in deep shit

    It was all it was cracked up to be

    Look ma, no hands..

    all right, all right. I'm going already.

    Don't get so tight arsed about it.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Never to many puns

    A bum rap in my opinion

  38. Matthew

    new zealand notes ARE plastic..

    would YOUnlike to wipe them?

This topic is closed for new posts.