back to article Why Microhoo! is like, so, totally dead

Those of you au fait with my traditional morning ritual will know that I normally rise at 5.43am, dip an Indonesian virgin-thigh-rolled organic sesame seed crunch power bar into a cup of sea urchin and gauva infusion, do fifteen minutes Pilates, ensure my beachside condo is feng shui compliant before parsing the latest …


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  1. Martin Owens

    What the hell

    was that?

  2. Gerrit Tijhof
    Jobs Halo


    FSJ? Is that you?

  3. bothwell
    Thumb Down


    Congrats on what is certainly the least insightful article I have ever had the misfortune to read on the Register, and possibly one of the least insightful articles I've ever read on the internets.


  4. W. Buckles

    I! didn!t! know!


    This all happened while I was on a survival course in the upper Sonoran desert, where the chicken tasted like rattlesnake and the chocolates tasted like crunchy scorpions. All were dusted with, well, dust.

    Good for the body and soul, and, needless to say, tres unplugged.

    I return to Web 2.0 and Now! This!

    I'm heading back to the desert. Maybe something else good will happen.


  5. DZ-Jay

    Re: Congrats!!!!!

    Wow, you must have missed all the Paris Hilton articles. Did you even get to see the Lesbo-Playmobile mock-up? Perhaps you're new here.

    And it's not even Friday!


  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    Crunchy on the Outside

    Soft on the Inside


    Although, I prefer mine caffinated personally

  7. Neil

    cant rate

    why cant we rate this article like many others onthe site, is it due to the amazingly poor quality??

  8. Guy

    Is Nia Fired...

    A Man From Mars?

    I was half way through the article assuming it was from the confused one himself, before I noticed the author....

  9. Hrishikesh

    A man from mars

    I think A man from mars just got fully promoted from Commenter to Vulture.

    Kudos on the promotion!

  10. Matt Caldwell


    When was amanfrommars hired?

  11. H

    Irrational hatred of Yahoo

    I hate Yahoo, but I don't know why. Does anyone else have an irrational hatred of Yahoo?

  12. Anonymous Coward

    freaky man

    mind. Not. Working. No. Clarity. None.

    Must. Inhale. Breath. Deep.

    No Gordon here.

    aaaaah yes. Truly, now this article makes sense.

    Pity I wont...

    Sorry - what?

    God, I'm hungry.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    To all

    Can't you people understand that this article is an obvious parody ?

    The Blog 0.2 classification, the fact that the "author" has a single article in The Register are already good indications. With a title "like, so, totally dead" which

    is making fun of the language habits of americans (don't forget The Register

    is british), and the first paragraph full of irrelevant details but indicating the the writer believes in all kind New Age nonsense (as anyone in Europe would expect from

    a rich Californian) the parodic character of the piece becomes more affirmed.

    Kupi Luwak was featured a month ago in The Register

    "London store brews £50-a-poop cat-crap coffee" by Lester Haines.

    The last sentence "excuse me, all this excitement has made me quite faint and I need a quick nap" fits the cliché on the laziness of californians (as in The Big Lebowski).

    The note:

    "Nia Fired is a respected industry analyst who regularly contributes to Cnet."

    should reveal the parody. Which industry analyst could write such a shallow piece ?

  14. kain preacher

    Were do I sign up

    To b an author for el reg. Come on. The standards cant be that high.

  15. Michael Jarve
    Paris Hilton

    Did no one notice this was in bootnotes?

    People need to, like, lighten-up or something, foor-sure.

    Paris, because she's the ultimate bootnote.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Carlos Castaneda is back?

    Go slow on the Peyote, man and watch out for the Nagual.

  17. Chris Miller

    Welcome back Otto

    If you think Nia is a regular contributor to Cnet - well, I happen to own this bridge in Brooklyn that I'm looking to sell ...

  18. tardigrade
    Dead Vulture

    Can you hear the fluffy kittens?

    "Nia Fired is a respected industry analyst ..."

    Not any more.

    N.B. Where is the Stupicon for a straight jacket when you need it?

  19. brian

    Re: amanfrommars

    amanfrommars is a town in south wales - north of Swansea

  20. Rob Menke
    Dead Vulture


    Fine, you people need it spelled out? Here ya go:

    Note that I had to dredge through her (his? its?) collection of inanity to find the correct article. The sacrifices I make for you people...

    (Dead vulture, because this parody flopped, and flopped badly.)

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The reason it doesn't work... because it assumes anyone here reads CNet.

    Which lacks the essential Paris and Playmobil coverage of the mighty Register organ.

  22. John
    Dead Vulture

    rotting dog blog

    this must be the polar opposite.

    I especially liked the fake comments on the rotting dog blog.

  23. Adam Johnston

    And ninethly

    Too lucid for amanfrommars. Reminds me more the opal encrusted prostate himself... Otto Z Stern (haven't heard from him/her in a long time)

  24. Richard Hebert

    Alternate explanation :

    Simple .. the author read the article on pot and decided to

    prove them wrong about their insanity figures :)

    err .. or did she just prove them right ?

    ill be off

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rational hatred of YHOO

    I don't have an irrational hatred, just a rational one...

    They had an enviable market position and branding and threw it away.

    They were first class in services and stagnated.

    They have not delivered anything truely amazing in many years.

    They did not respond to Google but sat on their laurels and watched their position erode.

    They still have the self-centeredness to be smug about themselves.

    They piss off their shareholders.

    Their future looks set to decline further.

    At least getting Borged would be a humane death.

    What's to like?

  26. Andrew
    Thumb Up


    I laughed.

  27. Shaun Roe
    Thumb Down

    A bit weak

    Yes I see its a parody. Its just not that good.

    Brave try, though, and I hope you do better next time.

  28. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    See not

    It might be funny if anyone read c|net. Their page doesn't even load for me because their content shares servers with flashing, blinking, buzzing, talking ad hosts. Classy!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Yours sincerely,

    Surely the original is a parody. It doesn't come to a conclusion - it just stops dead - and there's no real information or insight at all. That would make this article a parody of a parody. Also, what is this CNet of which you speak?

  30. alex_c
    Thumb Up

    Did anyone see my sense of Humour? I coulda sworn I left it here...

    Well, I thought it was quite funny but all you guys taking it seriously is rather wonderful!

  31. Mike Groombridge

    I laughed and irrational hate

    i laughed maybe cause i havn't slept properly in 3 days and am only on my thrid coffee (a double espresso , a cappacino and a sumetra(try one it's not quite the hit hit of an espresso but it is a full mug )) so i'm not quite awake yet. it was a bit pointless though. more play mobile please about all i handle right now it is 9am on friday after all

    on irrational hate i hate of all yahoo products apart from yahoo games which lets me play pool against the guys in india :-)

    my friends tell me i have an irrational hate of apple this isn't ture at all i like Apple products*

    i just hate steve jobs he always comes across a smug git


    with the exception of the the mac air which is just a way of saying i have to much money and don't do any real work on a computer (should probable point out i'm a network and systems engineer so like my serial and network ports but most of all my DVD drive) . and the ipod shuffle cause it just's a pointless.

    go cause there is no coffee icon

  32. Danny
    Thumb Up


    this article is just what my failing to start mind needs :)

    thanks for the anti-wakeup, it'll take hours before my mind gets over this one.

  33. Neil Hoskins

    I remember...

    ...repeatedly telling Americans to look up 'irony' in the dictionary. Sadly, this has now been replaced by telling Brits to look up 'satire'. It's a dying artform on this side of the pond.

  34. Mark
    Paris Hilton

    You always have other options?

    You! Always! Have! Other! Options!

    My order of preference for search engines...

    1) Google

    2) erm... there are other search engines???

    3) The guy on my left

    4) The chick on my right

    5) Someone I met randomly on the street

    6) Google

    7) Bashing my head against a brick wall

    8) A random number generator to generate IP addresses

    9) oh yes - i remember that Yahoo thing, I think I used to use it back in the stone age.... does it still exist?

    Paris - because even Paris doesn't use Yahoo!

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Anonymous Coward

    First rule of the interspazz, don't try to explain things to idiots.

    More of this sort of thing! Bring back the Rotting Dog Blog!

  36. Pete
    Thumb Down


    @ Neil Hoskins - a dying art form - never! However good satire has always poked (semi-serious) fun at subjects that we are all talking about, or know something about, not some remote subject on a web site that hardly anyone looks at, knows about or in fact cares about. I don't take this article seriously at all but it's about as funny as a slap across the face with a wet herring. Shame. Looking forward to Playmobil later on though. :-)

  37. DZ-Jay

    Please, keep off the grass and don't feed the monkeys.

    It always seems that a portion of The Register readers lack not only a sense of humor(*), but a sense of irony. Or perhaps it's *due* to a sense of irony that they lack a sense of humor(*)?

    In any case, it would serve the world better, or at least this community (alright, it would serve _me_ better), if those who actually understand and enjoy these little entr'actes stop trying to explain or even point out the jokey bits. Just sit back, relax, and -- well, enjoy them: irony is a dish best served on the face of those unaware.

    (*) Yes, "humor". I'm not really a yank (well, not very really). I learned English from books and PBS shows (ok, ok, Sesame Street played a big part), so my vocabulary is polluted with misplaced zeds and a conspicuous lack of the letter U (though somehow "behaviour" snuck through; perhaps picked up from a PBS documentary featuring British psychologists?).


  38. Julian I-Do-Stuff


    Woah!Sorry to be like, y'know, a big yummy cheesy pizza at a detox center, but... you did know that the Armadillo is the only (?) other animal apart from man to get leprosy... didn't you?

    er...I'll get my Level 5 Bio-hazard Lab-coat...

  39. Jay

    What's that smell?

    Can we have the Rotting Dog Blog back please?

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    Microwho? Microwho! Micropoo

    !!*/x/**-- WTF

  41. Dave
    Paris Hilton

    Ah! Gotcha!

    Having read the original article (linked above) , yes, this is a great parody of Ina Fried. Although IMHO it looks like Ina is a parody - (Still working on anagrams of that name).

    Nia, you seem to have the eye and the writing talent, so next week, rather than doing a perfect parody of something that we've never read, do your own take on the news. Your persona of an Oh-so-kewl Meeja trendy blogger is a great idea (A kind of Shelley the Republican for us jaded IT cynics) and I look forward to you coming up with your own spin on the weeks news.

    And if it's a parody of something specific, give us a link to the original, that would have helped a lot of the earlier posters.

    You get the Paris icon, that's how you know that I liked it.

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    the cnet thing eludes me

    but I detect an aftertaste of Otto Z Stern

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