back to article I want a baby, coos broody Paris Hilton

El Reg's fave hotel heiress "One night in" Paris Hilton has touchingly expressed her desire to get up the duff asap and drop a sprog within the next year, according to the Sun. The prospective father is at present rocker Benji Madden, who the highly-talented celeb has been dating since February. Hilton said: "I have a lot of …


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  1. David Harper

    Baby naming

    When Bangkok gets a little sibling, they could name it Hanoi Hilton.

  2. Fresher

    Baby name

    I think they should call the kid Peters Hilton.

  3. Richard


    I'm guess the human gene pool can take one more for the team.

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Depending on how you pronounce it...

    ... why not Phuket Hilton?

  5. Joel Stobart

    baby names

    I reckon "itsa" ... "Itsa Madden" ...

  6. Grimmie
    Paris Hilton

    Oh dear dear dear

    This is a sign of the apocalypse.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Stone Fox
    IT Angle

    Just what the human race needs.

    Paris hilton splashing around in the shallow end of the gene-pool in armbands.

    Got to say "good work!" to Lester, I nearly wet myself lauging at the 'Bangkok' suggestion.

  9. Pete
    Paris Hilton

    I can see the TV programme now

    12 babies vying to be Paris Hilton's child, the audience voting one off each week until she gets the one she wants.

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Bangkok Hilton

    Well it beats the current trend (at least in the US) of naming your offspring things like "McKenzie, Keegan, and Taylor" (all first names)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    mckenzie is a real surname. at least its not made up shit like some of the crap you hear.

  12. radian
    Thumb Down

    oh god no

    If you're going to compare bringing up a child with looking after one of those pointless 'rats-on-a-rope' dogs, you should be banned from having kids.

    Further more, if she does have a kid, there'll be yet another skull crushingly tedious and seemingly endless celebrity documentary series about it on tv.

  13. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: bah

    I resemble that remark.

  14. Secretgeek


    "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children."

    Not sure I get the she going to feed her pets to the child?

    Or is Paris saying that she has a lots of animals that she's going to give to her child? Not sure that's responsible parenting if you ask me.

    Get your coat love, you've pulled.

  15. Jamie

    The joys of being rich

    That way when you name your child with some moniker that if they went to real school would be beaten so badly that they would be afraid to leave the house. But cause your rich you go to a special school with all the other poor little rich kids.

    Just take a look at what some people have called thier children.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She'll have to give up drinking for a while.

    At least until she's pregnant.

  17. Rob


    Isn't Paris Hilton getting kids a crime against humanity or something? We must preserve the gene pool and apply some modern Darwinism!

  18. George Johnson

    Just see it now...

    Her agent obviously spent all of 5 mins on this brainwave. "Paris darhlink, yummy mummies, celeb babies, very now. See it now, full 8 page spread in all the major publications! Killer dahlink, well make another pot-full!"

    @Stone Fox - I pissed myself! Many thanks indeed.

  19. James Pickett


    "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after"

    Some of which she wears, no doubt. Not quite sure she fully appreciates the distinction between pets and children, though - just as well she can afford a nanny, I guess...

  20. Neil Greatorex
    Paris Hilton

    Baby names

    Ho Chi Minh City Hilton?

  21. dervheid
    IT Angle

    Surely anyone...

    who's still going around calling himself "Benji" isn't really mature enough to be a father? (Who the fuck IS Benji Madden anyway?) Sounds like the kind of name you'd give your kid's dog.

    Maybe they should televise the conception, and if perchance a fatal freak accident were to befall them during coitus, then we'd have a loveley Double Darwin!

    Not to mention another sure-fire internet video hit! (that'll be the IT angle then!)

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Why not Gateshead? Even the Hilton Hotel there doesn't admit to being in Gateshead upfront... mind you who would?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worrying statistic

    Even the best contraception is only 95% effective. She can't beat those odds forever.

  24. Martin Bjelk
    IT Angle


    How's this for an IT angle:

    At the time of writing, the entry for Benji Madden states

    "Benjamin Levi Madden (born March 11, 1979) is the guitarist and backup vocalist of the band Good Charlotte.

    He is GAY!!!!!."

    If the article tells the truth (at Wikipedia?!?), the world would be safe...

  25. John A Thomson

    Video of the pregnancy

    One Mite in Paris!

  26. Eddie
    IT Angle

    Benji Madden...

    ...go get thyself a vasectomy, right now, lest you want a vast paternity suit, and payments in perpetuity.

    If Heidi is still in business, give her a ring...embarassment in Hollywood is transitory, maintenance is for ever...

  27. Gary Holcombe

    Needs one

    She needs a kid, I mean, who is going to keep up with the sequels of her movies when the child is older and Paris is too old and fraile?

  28. Michael Compton

    Re Re Bah

    'I resemble that remark'

    So is Bee made up then because i'm nearly sure Sarah isn't because my parents aren't that imaginative and they called my sister Sarah.

    I really thought it was ur name, but maybe there is some joke that is lost on me.

    Smiley because i was reading the weed story before this :p

  29. Frank Bitterlich

    Final proof....

    ... that Darwin was wrong.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    One would bet that to avoid the paparazzi the birth will be caesarian, too many cameras at the front door.


  31. AC
    Thumb Up

    "ive got lots of animals to look after ..."

    Am I the only one that expected that quote to go on and say something like

    "I've got a lot of animals to look after, I think if I add a child to my collection it would be complete and I could open a zoo"

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Advertising Opportunity

    Hmmm... Maybe that line below the article should read:

    The Reg guide to managing sperm

  33. preethi

    Thought of a new TV program

    Contestents intersted in being the father,

    requirements -

    IQ <= 50

    Filthy (parental) rich

    talentless yet want to be a celebrity

    vocabulary based around two words "hot" "cool"

    Atleast 4 pets not necessarily alive

    been to jail atleast once

    and so on.

    any takers int eh Reg readership!!!

  34. Adam Collett

    South Park

    Anyone remember the Stupid Spoilt Whore Video Playset episode where she "adopts" butters and treats him like a pet?

    Life imitates art once again...

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    @mike richards

    "Even the best contraception is only 95% effective"

    Paris has always used the birth control 100%.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My mummy was in a movie!

    Teacher: What does your Mommy do?

    Kid: Everything and everyone.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I have no shame....

    I'd impregnate her!

    And unlike Benji Madden (wikipedia, 12.43 edit), i'm not "SUPER GAY"

  38. Scu

    @ Mike Richards

    Actually, there are a couple of contraceptive methods that are 100% reliable.

    Abstinence comes to mind as the first, but there are more.

  39. Juliette Martens
    Thumb Up

    Life ain't so difficult

    "I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children."

    That's super! I've two cats and now I can breed in peace, knowing that I can safely leave the baby on its own in the house as long as I have a bowl of water and a litter tray lying around somewhere.

  40. me
    Paris Hilton


    ...for when you're so hard-up, there's no one else to do!

  41. Turbojerry

    @Baby naming

    It's name shall be Damen and it shall be marked with the number of The Beast!

  42. Anonymous Coward

    Remember Harry Enfield's Wayne & Waynetta

    No doubt Paris' inner Chav wants a Black baby ;-)

  43. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton


    Perhaps , she should follow the tradition of the twin islands of the perpetual shroud like mist in the South Pacific who notoriously slice and dice names to reassemble them thus like Raelene and Gwyneth becomes Raewyn and so forth , think of the fun she could have with her family names such as Parbar or Ariaro .

    Strange people indeed ?

    Although , if it wasn't for the million plus Oz tourists replacing those that have fled the the poverty , extensive rampant unemployment and rust to a better life , traipsing about in the almost perpetual clouds and spending enough money to feed the fewer remaining locals for twelve months a time , so they can leap off bridges with ropes attached and also generously allowing the local inhabitants to find better paying jobs , warmer weather and new permanent homes just a short hop , skip and jump to the west as the crow flies , most people would not know they exist in this century as the sun sets earlier there then in Oz too !

  44. Madjohn


    I might be mistaken but didn't she loose her trademark dog once,.. left it at a party and then got a replacement?

    Could she do that with a kid?

  45. Fuzzy


    I haven't laughed so hard in a while it made my day

    @Stone fox - you owe me a new keybaord after the coffee I sprayed over it

  46. Anonymous Coward

    Title required

    I'll wait for the video thanks,,,,,

  47. Nordrick Framelhammer
    Dead Vulture


    Paris trying abstinency would be about as effective as jumping off the Empire State Building using a hanky for a parachute.

    As and for the name, if the ejecta is XY and anything like it's carrier then they would need to put "any" between the G and the K

    This avatar because that is what the stork will want to do when asked to deliver the ejecta to Paris' herpes infected womb

  48. Stephen

    @Neil Greatorex

    or 'Ho' for short...

    oddly appropriate?!

    Friday here - Taxi!

  49. Slaine

    another 2 cents worth incumming

    after : Video of the pregnancy by John A Thomson - "One Mite in Paris" Thanks mate - I gone done and completely wet myself laughing.

    Baby names eh? how about "Cockermouth Hilton", it's a lovely little village on the West Coast.

  50. Stratman

    Remember dear...

    There's more to it than just "spit or swallow"

  51. Anonymous Coward


    "Abstinence comes to mind as the first, but there are more."

    For the over-forty set, nudity itself is 100% effective.

    I'm 48, BTW.

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