back to article Malodorous Europe gasses UK

The Met Office has firmly pinned the blame for the foul stench hanging over the south of England - dubbed "Euro-whiff" - on our continental cousins, the BBC reports. Blighty is usually favoured by fragrant westerly breezes from the Atlantic, but an offending smell has over the past few days been carried by easterly winds …

COMMENTS

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  1. Damn Yank
    Pirate

    are you sure...

    ... it wasn't that pub's bathrooms backing up??

  2. Robajob
    Coat

    It's just...

    ...the smell of all the Southerners. I believe the French have been complaining about it for years.

  3. James Moran

    My Theory

    Perhaps it's the EU shitting on Microsoft again...

  4. Matt

    A likely tale

    Living near Brussels, as I do for the moment, I can report there's no smell here. On the other hand I feel I should rise to the level of the article and say that "he who smelt it dealt it". Let the games begin :-)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Just goes to show.......

    ..... no matter how hard they try to cover up and brush it under the carpet, you can smell the stench of NuLabour's activities everywhere.

    Stop the BT/Virgin/TalkTalk/Phorm alliance!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    It's not fair...

    ... it's not fair the blame ALL of the European land mass. Some clues as to the likely culprits:

    1. Who's closest? France

    2. Whose inhabitants are better known as garlic munching, cheese eating surrender monkeys? France

    3. Just because

    Mines the one with the clothes peg and the pair of air freshener sprays in the pocket.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It smells here...

    I live in Berkshire and I could smell silage this morning. But then I do live on a farm.

  8. Tim

    @Matt

    Yer but whoever said the rhyme did the crime.

  9. Alex

    it smells like

    eau du paris

    :D

  10. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    Wind

    Now you know why the French built all their nukes on the north coast. The prevailing winds are generally south-westerlies, but an easterly will have the same effect...

  11. Phil

    Bloody hell

    That's one long distance cupcake

  12. jai

    so that's what it was

    i spent the whole journey to work this morning checking my shoes

  13. Bill Fresher

    Pardon me

    I'm sorry about that - I've got a poorly stomach.

  14. Frank Bough
    Black Helicopters

    Ahhhh.....

    so it wasn't just me then? When I stepped out of the house in my sleepy Chilterns village this morning I assumed there were some farmers muck spreading nearby (hardly unusual in my neck of the woods), what baffled me was that I could still smell it when I emerged from Charing X tube station into Trafalgar square. Weird.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    I can smell it now..

    in Central London. Mind you I'm north of Oxford Street so it could be French tourists.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ jai

    I hope you werent driving

  17. Dennis
    Thumb Down

    Re: It smells here...

    I'm in Bracknell and it smells here in the office. I thought it was just the olfactory drift from the logjam in cubicle two down the corridor. A porcelain device full to the brim. And I don’t think it’s Brown Windsor soup.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The relief was indescribable

    after having been backed up for 3 long months. You can't begin to imagine what it felt like.

    // the brown (very) one

  19. Quirkafleeg
    Coat

    Re: The relief was indescribable

    You've now been restored?

  20. Herby
    Joke

    A solution?

    Well, somebody could light a match. That usually gets rid of stuff in the bathroom. Be aware that at times (with proper mixture) those gases can be explosive.

    One match not enough? Try two.

    If you want REALLY bad smells, try the feedlot part way down I-5 in California's central valley. No amount of matches will solve that one.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just a coincidence?

    Lots of asthma attacks down here? Fluke?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Ohhhhh

    I live in Whitley, and I thought it was the Whitley-Whiff back again. Surprising, given they concreted over the sewer works a year ago.

    Glad I'm not going mad - thought I smelled something :(

  23. Pierre

    It's Al Queda

    Islamic warmongers trying to sabottage Ol'Blighty glorious morale. That, or someone REALY doesn't want to investigate the Phorm story and has to pretend they're busy.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Monty Python - French Taunter

    "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

  25. Richard Scratcher
    Paris Hilton

    Something is rotten in the state of Denmark...

    ...and the smell has wafted over to our tiny hamlet.

    Paris - Because the lady doth protest too much, methinks.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Nasty manure-like whiffs in darkest rural Devon?

    How unusual!

    The locals must have quite a nose for this sort of thing if they can distinguish a niff from hundreds of miles away from the stuff sticking to their tyres.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    is it?

    Is this the pong that smells like burnt hair ? I thought it might have been a natural hazard of quitting smoking and living in a big city but if it's some temporary euro-whiffery I'll be very happy!

  28. Slartybardfast

    It's the Germans ...

    I heard on Radio 4 this morning that they think it came from German farmers near Hamburg.

    There, I've mentioned it once and I think I've got away with it..

  29. Sceptical Bastard

    Nationalism

    The Germans? Wrong nation, surely? Isn't it the old enemy - France - that has the reputation of being smelly? Yer Germans are stereotypically clean and smell of cologne (boom boom!)

    I rather hoped the reek was K(u)nt Ertugrul shitting himself as Phorm's share price went into meltdown.

  30. Moss Icely Spaceport
    Alert

    Pongdon

    Eee, it don't 'alf pen and ink!

  31. chris
    Coat

    Nope, its London sewage in the Thames Estuary

    Ever been to the thames estuary at 5am?

    It stinks of amonia as the sluice gates release the sewage into the outgoing tide. It really stinks and popular holiday beaches can be observe condoms and toilet paper floating with the tide. I've seen it and smelt it myself.

    Now i live inland; a long way inland

  32. Rhys
    Pirate

    Can't smell anything myself...

    But then again, I'm in New Zealand, a safe distance from any french above the high tide mark...

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @It's not fair...

    re : Whose inhabitants are better known as garlic munching, cheese eating surrender monkeys? France

    As opposed to the blubbing sailors who keeled over when the nasty Iranians hijacked them.

    Oh, those would be the Rosbif surrender monkeys, wouldn't they?

    "When danger reared its ugly head

    They bravely turned their tails and fled

    Brave, brave, brave brave RN etc" (python arr AC)

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