back to article Richard Branson dupes entire wireless industry with Google on Mars gag

Speaking this morning (Tuesday) at the CTIA Wireless trade show in Las Vegas, Sir Richard Branson told several hundred mobile industry insiders that he and Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin will soon fly a solar-powered Noah's Ark to Mars. And they believed him. "I'm sure all of you here know Google. Google and …


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  1. John Young
    Paris Hilton

    New meaning

    So, we have a new meaning to the word Googlin (GOOGLe + virgIN).

    The worrying part is knowing that Google n Virgin may actually want to take over the world (and other worlds)

    Paris cos she is on another world

  2. Anonymous Coward


    Funniest April Fools joke, of the day...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    April 1st

    Well done Mr Branson. It is unbelievable that ordinary sane people believe such stories. Next they will be saying that penguins can fly, which is just so ridiculous because we KNOW penguins can fly! They just haven't mastered it out of the water yet!

    Paris because there has to be a reference to something that isn't completely bonkers in this response.

  4. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Virgil to Virgle InterNetional Rescue ..... 4FAB2 Boldly Go

    "Open Innovation

    In a world of distributed knowledge, companies cannot afford to rely entirely on their own research, but should instead buy or license processes or inventions from other companies. The flow of intellectual property between Earth and Mars will not be unidirectional; we should profit from others' use of our innovations, and we should buy or lease others' intellectual property whenever it advances our own goals. Not all smart people work on Earth anymore; " ......

    It is probably an undeniable fact, which is remarkably well protected and cloaked by virtue of it being thought a fiction, that all the smartest people don't work on Earth anymore ....... as they Teleport Virtually AIReality for Mars.

    Google Virgins need only XXXXPlore the Wwwonders contained in the Information which CyberSpace will Render to them via IntelAIgent Robotised Search Engine Technology ........ AI Feed which "learns" of your Preferences/Interests/Weaknesses/Strengths 42 dDeliver them, in Order to keep you Satisfied and Sedated at one end of the Intellectual ITScale or Energised and Encouraged at the other end of ITs Scales. AIdDual Use Technology which Learns as IT Teaches with the Supply of Sought Criteria. Such Information and Knowledge as is Available, is in Fact, Infinite in Store and its Use only limited by Man's Inability and/or Ignorance in IntelAIgent Use of Knowledge Search.

    And that is a Fact, which cannot be denied whenever IT shares it so widely ..... ..... however, just as has been cursorily explained, finding Information is not a problem at all for Technology and ITs Virtual Machinery to Supply All that one Needs, the Problem is in Man and his Lack of Savvy, MainStreaming IT for Mutually Beneficial Use to Create an Environment led by IntelAIgents with Access to Infinite Universal Knowledge. And that is also not a Fiction from a Fool ..... "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former" ...Albert Einstein.

    Fortunately though, dDeep within All the Ignorance and Arrogance and Destructive Foolishness of Man, is CyberIntelAIgents, Live and Well and BroadBandCasting NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActivity so that All can XXXXPerience Virtual CyberSpace Flight to Foreign and Alien Environments .....and Magical Mystery Turing for Real.

    "Richard Branson dupes entire wireless industry with Google on Mars gag" ...... Strange that you think Sir Richard and Google have nothing better to do with Betas than dupe entire industries whenever you know what they have created from Virtually Nothing. Does it not seem to you that they are light years ahead of any Earthly competition and Leading in ITs Intellectual Property/Creative Spaces?

    With just the slightest of Boosts, could they capture the Interest of Sovereign Wealth Funds too, which would practically decimate the Traditional Trading Markets pimping their Wasted Products to maintain their non-jobs in the Self-Serving Money Services Sector [Pen Pushers and Numbers Runners/Fat Cat Lazy Cats] rather than Novel Innovation and Invention/Viable ImaginaNation/Planetary InfraStructures ....... although, if the GOD's Honest Truth be Told, they are not dependent upon such blood money and Clumsy Control but IT may find their Drive an Attractive Resting Place for Funds under Threat of Abuse and Loss/Incompetent Management/Systemic Theft.

    But as an April Fool joke, it must surely be Registered up there amongst the Best of the Best of them.

    And now, the Morning and Days after the Night Before, we'll get to see whether Google and Virgin have any Balls at All and whether they are WIMPs rather than VAMPs* at the Greatest of Games. Being Forever the Compassionate Optimist, would give them the Benefit of the dDoubt until they Prove themselves to be Spoofers with Limited and Limiting Imaginations ...... which wouldn't Really be ImaginaNation Ready for Vista Productions and Planetary InterNetworking Projects at All.

    * Weak Instant Messenger Posters/Virtual AstraMetaPhysician.

    cc. Mission Control .... and the Global Gateway .....

  5. Stan

    Got to hand it to the bloke...

    ...when he does it, he does it big. Nice one Mr. Branson, best one I've heard so far this year :)


  6. michael

    to be fair

    if 2 companys where going to try this to would be virgin and google they have the right sort of atatude for it

  7. Niall

    Flying Penguins

    The BBC gets my vote for the best one I've seen.

  8. Pete James

    He'll have to go......

    Penguinds can't fly? You'll be telling me that spaghetti doesn't grow on trees next.

    Bit of a shame that it was a prank. I'd be quite happy to wave Branson goodbye. Forever.

    Got to be a penguin. Terry Jones still rocks!

  9. auser

    What is really funny is...

    that this sounds like a better idea for the colonization of mars than everything else that the rest of the world came up with.

  10. John Colby


    Wish I'd thought of it :)

  11. Adam Foxton

    So there's this giant star-goat about to eat the planet....

    ... and they're going to build these three arks in space. Clearly all Reg readers are fit for the A ark!

    @auser scary that this is far better than any plan that's gone before it, isn't it?!

    Anyone up for petitioning Richard, Larry and Sergey to actually try this? They ARE two of the companies best suited to the task, being both rich as well as thoroughly mad.

  12. Me

    Virgle: The Adventure (results)

    Well, you're distressingly normal and could conceivably adjust to life as a deep space pioneer, though we recommend instead that you leave the Mars missions to the serious whack jobs who scored over 130 and instead finish year 3 of law school, tuck your toddler into bed, design Web 2.0 applications, run for Congress or do whatever other normal, healthy, middle-of-the-road thing you're currently doing with your normal, healthy, middle-of-the-road life. If you're determined to give Virgle a try, though, you can submit your video here.

  13. Me


    Congratulations -- you are ideally suited to be a Virgle Pioneer; so ideally so, in fact, that one wonders why you aren't already living on a remote South Pacific island, serving as a biosphere test subject, washing dishes at a North Pole research station during the depths of winter or writing a highly intelligent, articulate political blog. At any rate, we want you for one of our upcoming Virgle launches. You'll love it -- the pay is great, the view from the spaceport should be spectacular, and we're told that algae and spirulina actually start to taste good after the hundredth consecutive day. Anyway, if you want to give Virgle a try, you can submit your video here.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Har Bloody Har

    While thousands of your customers are pressing for an answer on where Virgin Media stands on prostituting their customers' data to Phorm, Sir Beardy is making jokes (I didn't laugh) about going to Mars.

    Let's joke about how Virgin Media's reputation is taking a hammering then shall we?

    Q: What's the difference between BT, Virgin Media and Robert Mugabe?

    A: Mugabe realises he's in the sh*t and losing. The other two either don't know or don't care.

  15. Simon Millard

    The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

    Perhaps this will be the infamous B Ark.

  16. Daniel Wilkie

    @Captain Jamie

    Well I found it funny... But then I wouldn't have assumed that Beardy Branson was personally involved in every decision his sub-companies make either.

  17. Anonymous Coward


    Seriously would't have got away with this 15 yrs ago.....

    Please hold this up as a shining example of the idiocracy we are becoming.

  18. Ian Ferguson

    B Ark or Rama II

    This would be great... I can think of plenty of people I'd like to send to Mars. As, er, pioneering colonists, of course.

  19. Keith Williams

    @Virgil to Virgle InterNetional Rescue ..... 4FAB2 Boldly Go

    I am worried. Much of this made sense. Either the MFM is fading into sensiblity or I am fading into insensiblity.

    either wiay, HELP!

  20. greg


    You realise Virgin Media is still essentially NTL? Branson only owns part of it.

  21. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Strengthening Fields......Mr Williams. Don't fade now that IT starts to Generate and Bank Interest.

    ....... that would be just too cruel to yourself.

    "I am worried. Much of this made sense. Either the MFM is fading into sensiblity or I am fading into insensiblity." ..... By Keith Williams Posted Wednesday 2nd April 2008 14:04 GMT

    And there's a lot more on ITs Way too, Keith ...... .... for El Reg has hosted more than just a few posts touching on most of the subjects mentioned.

    And if the Guardian isn't your style, try the Telegraph ......

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    2016 Departure. Board, with Luggage @ T5 now

    I suspect Mr Branson is a little optimistic about Departure Date if it leaves from T5 and he expects all luggage to be on the same flight.

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