is that so..
April fool I reckon!
Teacher's head explodes due to Wi-Fi, mobe radiation
New research carried out for British newspapers and broadcasters has revealed conclusive evidence that wireless technologies are in fact a severe hazard to human health. In one controversial experiment, a middle-aged sociology teacher's head was actually caused to explode by a combination of Wi-Fi transmissions, deadly mobile …
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 09:47 GMT Anonymous Coward
LOL
I bet the tin foil hat brigade forget it's april fools day and use it as more ammunition to make the existance of the electromagnetic spectrum illegal. Arguably if it wasn't an april fools day, would the world miss a sociology teacher? (one of my housemates did sociology at uni, had a 2 hour week and claimed it wasn't a dos subject, now is putting all those good sociological skills to use by working at the checkouts in tescos)
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 10:10 GMT Elmer Phud
Easy enough
It's all down to focussed microwave radiation.
The phones were acting as an antenna that drew in and focussed the radiation from the school's industrial strength microwave oven (anyone having tried microwave popcorn in one will know that the bag catches fire in a minute or two).
The nature of the phone signals mean that the microwave radiation is reverse-phased which defeats the normal shielding.
The focussed radiation then rapidly boils the fluids in the brain resulting in the usual 'egg in a microwave' situation.
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 10:10 GMT Anton Ivanov
If that is so why do I sleep better with the wireless off?
While laughing at luddites and technofreaks is fun there is still a nagging question. Based on personal experience I get much better sleep if there are fewer 2.4GHz emitters around.
I have done some unintentional blind testing on that myself on a few occasions by buggering up the cronjobs and the scripts that turn the 802.11 and Bluetooth on and off. I also know a few other people who have very similar observations.
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 10:19 GMT Wayland Sothcott
Think of the poor children
who had to whitness such a traumtizing spectical.
The fact that one of the children thought it was 'Cool' shows how desensitized they have become from playing constant violent video games.
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!!
If banning everything saves one innocent life then I will happily stick my head in a microwave.
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 11:01 GMT Colin Morris
Any more?
OK, Reg
That's at least two April fool jokes and counting.
What you need to do is find a story that is - on the surface - totally ludicrous ... and yet true! That way everyone who thinks the a real story is a April fool joke will look stupid.
...Paris, it is alleged, is not just an 'April fool' but an 'All year round fool'
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 11:15 GMT Anonymous Coward
Arrggghhhh were all gonna die!!!
hrmmm
as one of the tin-foil hat brigade (they do help btw..(9 out of 10 NY tramps can't be wrong))
here are some linkies that might proove were not all insane (though it helps to be to work in IT).
UK National Press this last weekend.. regarding a publication last week by Dr Vini Khurana in Austraila.
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/public-health-the-hidden-menace-of-mobile-phones-396225.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/mobile-phones-more-dangerous-than-smoking-or-asbestos-802602.html
full published article here http://www.brain-surgery.us/
pity the Reg etc wont publish this comment, cos they got lots of 3G freebies for xmass from the phone industry as a backhander to keep it all quiet(whilst we all die of brain cancer) and they are partying it up in soho with paul raymonds grandaughters.(enjoy the party guys, while it lasts, you were warned)(wonder if the Macmillian Trust will get extra funding now)?
mines the scorched foil one..
Illuminatus. ;p
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 11:57 GMT Sceptical Bastard
Fools rush in...
@ O RLY..??
"Can I be the first to call ... FAKE!"
No. About a million commentards beast you to it. Next.
@Wayland Sothcott
"... whitness such a traumtizing spectical."
Oy! What's with the anagram of my nom-de-plume? You're making a traumatising spectacle of yourself, man ;)
PS I had such awful teachers at school that I really wanted the story to be true.
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Wednesday 2nd April 2008 23:04 GMT Peter Mellor
Believable April Fool jokes
Many years ago, The Guardian published a story about a new automated bus control system for London. All buses were to be driverless, and controlled remotely by operators who would view the traffic through a CCTV mounted in the driver's cab, connected in real time to a video screen in the control centre. One operator in the centre would be able to control up to five buses simultaneously, tests had shown.
I was so taken in, I nearly posted it to risks@csl.sri.com
A few years later, a net-friend who was an aviation specialist published a story that the flight crew on an Airbus A320 had experienced an outage of the flight control system on approach to landing. When they tried to restart the system, it gave a message saying "PIN not recognised". Apparently, this was due to Airbus using second-hand ATM chips to build their on-board systems.
The "incident" turned up a few months later in the final year undergraduate dissertation of one of my software engineering students, quoted without irony as an example of the risks from computer systems.
A few years after that, I broadcast my own story that Airbus had subcontracted the maintenance of the flight control software on the A320 to a third-party support firm. I had just just returned from a meeting in Copenhagen, and said I had seen the story in the Danish magazine "Godaj" ("Hello" in Danish). I said that the head of the third-party support firm was Wolf Larssen (the villain of "The Sea Wolf" by Jack London) and quoted him as saying that he was not worried that the original developers of the flight control system would not give him the source code, since his employees could download the binary and de-compile it.
At least three experts in safety-critical avionics were totally taken in and expressed their concern to the discussion group on which I had broadcast the story. I was still receiving concerned enquiries 5 years later from people who had read it in the archives, and hadn't noticed the date on it.
Moral: Make the spoofs believable, but perhaps not *too* believable! :-)
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
