CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics

A human rights lawsuit filed on behalf of prominent US government agencies - including the Central Intelligence Agency and the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base - has been filed in a European Court. The lawsuit, which plaintiffs also sent to Foreign Minister David Miliband - asks that British websites cease engaging in "cruel, unusual …

[michael]

hold on is it...

*checks calander* yes it is...

[Jeroen Braamhaar]

April Fools

Nice one !

[Fred Thompson]

I call!

Come on, you can do better than this! :)

[rogueelement]

Fools!

How foolish

[Sven]

Happened to me too

I arrived at Heathrow and they asked me to see my mobile phone. I showed them and they started laughing and pointing saying "look at that guy, not even a iPhone".

Terrible, just terrible

[Samson Chan]

Breakfast

I almost died choking on my breakfast reading that article!

Upon reading the title, I smirked thinking "Pot, Kettle, black?", but I could not stop laughing, and spilling the cereal when I read it!

Kudos to the last paragraph, as well... simply the best :D

[Anonymous Coward]

Happy april

better than the penguins on the BBC

[Andraž Levstik]

Tehehe

ROFL good done

[Chad H.]

Nice

happy April 1 el reg.

[Aubry Thonon]

Ahhh, yes....

This would, of course, be a follow on to the (failed) attempt at getting the Eurovision Song Contest classified as "cruel and unusual" punishment.

April 1, how we've missed you!

[Les Matthew]

/me checks date

and avoids the anal probe. :P

[David Griffiths]

Not as good as previous Reg April Fools..

Well, I think :)

[Richard]

Cruel and unusual

Heh - typical Yank idiocy, but then what do you expect with a president who can't spell 'Guantemanomo' without the aid of My First World Dictionary, eh?

They're even giving this technique a name: Billboarding

[tony trolle]

what ?

did I miss something or is "amanfrommars" writing for the "The Register" . its 12:18 after a nice poker night and did not make any sense of that or I am I looking at a parallel world version of the reg and the rest of the WWW. is there some IP geo locator running looking for poor CIA men to interrogate. Would be nice if true :-)

[Michael]

come on guys

Americans who don't think flash improves a website? Seriously?

[Anonymous Coward]

Anne L Proeb

hmmm

i'm sure i've got one or two of those videos you did at college

sad to see you've dropped out of a nice respectable porn career

to become a journo

neb

[Anonymous Coward]

Document on the court's website

Makes and interesting read and also refers to violation of right to privacy

[Harvey Trowell]

Most informative, thanks.

But I think we've reached the limit of what Anne L Proeb (-ing) can teach us.

[Anonymous Coward]

Arf, arf

That's the best by-line I've seen today.

[Anonymous Coward]

in the words of MrT...

I aint no Fool...

just a bit too obvious... 5/10

[James]

Outrageous!

Oh...it's April 1st, isn't it? Ho ho! Well done lads and lassie's....it was almost a bit too subtle for a thicko like me.

[John Murgatroyd]

Up Yours ?

That's what I like about all ANNE L PROEBS articles, they get you where other articles just don't go.

[Christoph Hechl]

Violation by flash site

That actually was pure torture when i was forced to browse via ISDN. I still deeply despise Flash for a number of reasons and totally support the move to have that banned.

Of course browsing forums for useful information is still much more of a pain in the butt.

[Anonymous Coward]

Ya got me.

Looks like I am the first to own up to being an April fool.

Paris? Because she is a lot smarter than me.

[neil hanvey]

anal probe

you gotta love that name :)

[Anonymous Coward]

Satirical Pots & Kettles or just April 1st?

They're obviously referring to the new "improved" mortgage application process from some of the banks. SPeaking of which, gotta go - my cavity search and 1hr session on the rack is scheduled for this morning.

[Uai Zass]

Not upto Reg standards

Lacks bite; worse yet: not believable.

[technos]

What, couldn't schedule one ahead of time?

By god, I've been waiting seven hours for a suitable April Fools to appear.

The Register has disappointed me before, when they lost any semblance of journalistic principles, but this takes the cake!

[Mike Plunkett]

Bravo!

Not so much for the article as the byline. Best. Pseudonym. Ever :-)

Paris Hilton because I'd like to... no, perhaps best not to got there.

[Anonymous Coward]

They have got a cheek

If anyone is first in heavy handed interrogation, is the yanks. Look at the various banshee warbling sirens they foist upon us - like April Levine. Talk about 'Sigh'ops.

[Kevin Eastman]

CIA = AF

Sounds like something the CIA would do. Why just last week, er what's that, what do you mean look at the calendar... oh, nevermind.

[Peter Sheil]

Outrageous!

Maybe you should send them copies of TheRegister stories to make their days complete ... we'll help with a fighting fund when the litigation is directed towards you ... honest we will.

[Jamie]

Truly Amazing

Is this an April fools prank, or did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed.

[Nathan L. Reynolds]

Is it that day already?

And I'm only just recovering form getting 'pinch-punched' this morning.

[Anonymous Coward]

Cruel and Inhumane Amusement?

Oh, but we can wish it were true!

[Paul]

I call it!

April Fool...

If only it were true.

Not very clever though, but better than the BBCs flying penguins.

[MaxCope]

Damn them, they've discovered our tactics!!

LOL- love the April Fools ;) - Or is it.......

yes, mines the long black leather one...

[Steve Kay]

Chortle

Anne L Proeb? Must be those damn rainbows - I hate those things.

[Al]

About time too.

As any fule kno, sites such as this have a duty of care towards the less-able visitors - such as Americans. Bomabarding those less gifted with complex questions and a barrage of colours and shapes will only cause them to express their insecurities through inappropriate actions.

[Michael Philbey]

April Fool

I smell a joke here. Not a bvery good one either

[David Buckley]

oh dear lord...

so it's started then

..paris...well she has no clue either

[Klaus]

April Fools

This is an April Fool's article,,, right?

[Stephen]

Whats the date?

Cheers El Reg, good April fools

Paris because, well she appreciates being interrogated.

[Anonymous Coward]

april fools.......i hope

hello pot, meet mr kettle

[W]

For once there's a justification to NOT use the Paris icon.

Dear Reg,

Got it in one. Nice try. For once there's a justification to not use the Paris icon.

Yours sincerely,

Oolla Frip

[Rob]

Nice April Fool

Especially as El Reg is one of the worst offenders...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yaaay

Took me 2 articles on my "hunt the april fools" endeavour before finding it. Jolly good show.

Can only guess there's no PH-angle so as not to confuse...

[Andy]

For clarification...

Are we supposed to call 'April Fool' or just make some rant about the predictable hypocrisy of those crazy yankees?

[Omer Ozen]

hmmm

<Checks the calendar> Yeah right!

[Anonymous Coward]

Between you and /.

I am going to stay away all day bah! April fools day is for fools.

[HFoster]

*groan*

Roll on noon.

[CareTaker]

Is this?

Ah, it is a p*sstake. Oh Duh april 1st. lol

[Anonymous Coward]

Funnier than...

...the IBM one.

[Dave]

at least this was an april fool...

i read the guardian website and saw 'mugabe told not to declare victory'.

i nearly spat my (fairtrade) coffee all over the keyboard. then i realised it wasnt an april fool.

bugger.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmmm...

Was this before or after they bought the spaghetti trees?

[Colin Morris]

as soon as I saw the RSS feed headline...

... I remembered the date. I didn't even have to read the article!

Avid Register reader, Paris is asking her publicist for clarification on this one, though...

[alistair millington]

could have almost slipped by me if it wasn't so outrageous...

Nice one!!!

- assuming this is the joke article... and not serious. :)

Paris because she would believe it...

[Elmer Phud]

left out the really cruel bits

It was deemed too explicit for publication but in short the 'interviewees' have been subjected to sonic torture. The use of Pete Andre and Katie Price's 'singing' had already been specifically banned under the Geneva Convention but it was thought that unlike the usual three or four hours of intense white noise, ten minutes would be sufficient to break even the hardest Eurovision fan.

[Ishkandar]

@Aubry Thonon

No !! That title has been passed to Big Brother UK edition !!

Furthermore, it is said that Alan Sugar will be standing for election as the Prime Minister so that he can justifiably say "You're fired" to any minister he dislikes !! Bruce Forsyth will be elected as the Speaker to welcome the same old faces back to Parliament !! Also, for the first time ever, a Frenchman will be appointed as the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Jerome Kerveil will bring with him the means and experience to fill the National Coffers very nicely, thank you !! Nick Leeson was offered the job first but he declined graciously on the grounds that he is still actively sought by various Singaporean gentlemen who would like to invite him to be the guest of honour at their banquet. It seems that they love him - boiled, roasted or stir-fried !!

[Paul M.]

Geneva Convention on Web Surfing?

Yes, please

[ImaGnuber]

Need more caffeine

@Richard

"They're even giving this technique a name: Billboarding"

Thought that was good.

As for the 'article' - Started reading with my first cup of coffee - fell in to the usual Reg rhythm and then the caffeine hit... Hope Anne L Proeb will become a regular contributor... usually writes for UFO sites, does she?

[Paul Charters]

It's odd...

....but this isn't so much an April Fool as a scarily likely story...and a wonderfully satirical view of the widespread abuse of the world wide web that has come into play nowadays...

Love it...

[Nano nano]

non-US typo alert

"... exploding donuts ..." - that should be "doughnuts" I presume, to further flummox spelling-challenged US visitors ...

[or is "donut" an implied reference to "do not" for inhabitants of the superSizeMe continent ?]

[b shubin]

Flash waterboarding

the Spanish Inquisition, the Khmer Rouge, and the WW2 SS were notorious for using Flash to torture their prisoners, and the use of Macromedia animation products for any purpose, other than "lowbrow entertainment and twitch games", is explicitly proscribed by Article 69, paragraph (f), subparagraph (9) of the Geneva Convention (original text).

more recently, the CIA subjected terrorism suspects to Flash-based questionnaires, but the practice was stopped when the agency realized that it scared the prisoners so badly, nothing they subsequently said was credible (or indeed, intelligible, as the subjects permanently switched to a clicky, obscure dialect of ancient Urdu, that no one has been able to translate).

[James O'Brien]

Hold on just a second

I for one am against all these so called "surveys" from sites like El Reg :)

I mean "this will only take 20 minutes of your time" LIES ALL LIES!!!!

20 minutes turns into 30 then 40 I mean common Reg I have a life too I need to have my time for beer not taken away from me :)

Plus how much do I make oh common you expect me not to lie? A better question and more relevant question would be "How much do you spend at the pub on in a normal pay period?" Thats the type of questions we as IT professionals want to see.

So until we start seeing those questions which as relevant I dont know how much longer I can deal with these "only 20 minutes of your time" surveys for only so much longer ;-)

/mines the one with the survey in the pocket :)

Nice April joke BTW