HOLD, RETREAT, ESCAPE or ABORT
What, no SELF_DESTRUCT? How about SET_THE_CONTROLS_FOR_THE_HEART_OF_THE_SUN?
Jules Verne gets intimate with ISS
The European Space Agency's "Jules Verne" Automated Transfer Vehicle yesterday manoevered itself to within 11 metres of the docking port of the ISS's Russian Zvezda module during a second "demonstration day" designed to test its "critical optical navigation system" prior to a scheduled docking on 3 April. The Jules Verne seen …
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 16:46 GMT MD Rackham
@Steve Evans - Fonts
As I understand it, the automatic docking system is adapted from the Russian one used on their Progress re-supply capsules. Just be glad the displays aren't in Cyrillic.
(And remember that the Russians crashed two Progress capsules into Mir, one hard enough that it sent the crew members scrambling for the Soyuz escape capsule. At least according to the American astronaut on board at the time. Officially, it never happened.)
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 18:29 GMT b shubin
Consumables not optional
@ Underwood
no, "Missed truck!", as in, "our supplies didn't get here", and "we're out of air/water/[other non-optional stuff], so off to the escape pod".
@ Evans
sorry, the US spent all the money "spreading" democracy (or manure? or maybe death and destruction?), not enough left to fund the space program adequately, and Russia is still recovering from US democracy-spreading efforts in the 90s.
@ Rackham
it is the Russian way: if you don't succeed at first, try, try again. the capsules got there, didn't they? sheesh, everybody's a critic...
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Wednesday 2nd April 2008 06:20 GMT Aubry Thonon
That should be...
...Abort, Retry, Ignore. (not Cancel).
(with apologies to the original author)
Midnight Dreary
Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets;
Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand,
Then invoked the SAVE command
But I got a reprimand:
It read "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
Was this some occult illusion?
Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly I must now adopt one:
Choose "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly t'wards the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key--
But on the screen what did I see?
Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
I tried to catch the chips off-guard--
I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards. I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations
Still there came the incantation:
Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
There I sat, distraught exhausted,
By my own machine accosted
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight:
A bold and blinding flash of light--
A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.
I saw the screen collapse and die
"Oh no--my data base," I cried
I thought I heard a voice reply,
"You'll see your data Nevermore!"
To this day I do not know
The place to which lost data goes
I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored
But as for productivity, well
I fear that IT goes straight to hell
And that's the tale I have to tell
Your choice: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
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Wednesday 2nd April 2008 10:35 GMT Joe Cooper
@b shubin
"sorry, the US spent all the money "spreading" democracy (or manure? or maybe death and destruction?), not enough left to fund the space program adequately"
As evidenced by the LAMEZ0RZ fonts, clearly the US cannot fund it's space program.
Apparently all the money went to some thing called Cassini, some lamez0rz mars rovers, a bunch of so-called satellites, a mission to pluto, and building a so called "space station".
But since the fonts are soooo lamez0rz, clearly they can't do ANYTHING!!! Stupid 'merkins.
As for Russia, I'd say it was the US's democracy spreading efforts combined with the fact that just about everyone was sick of Russia's shit. And everyone is STILL sick of Russia's shit, or so is the impression I get living in Poland.
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Wednesday 2nd April 2008 23:04 GMT Peter Mellor
Russian pencils (Space program budget)
I have been to the NASA goodies shop and have my very own zero-G biro (with a spare refill). It surprises some people that a normal biro won't write (for long) on a vertical or inverted horizontal surface. The zero-G pen will, since it has a built-in micro-pump for the ink. Mind you, I cannot recall any occasion in the last 20 years when I absolutely had to write on a surface that wasn't roughly horizontal, but I suppose it's a good present for the man who has everything.
Now, the Russian "pencil" was not only a well-designed clutch pencil (no sharpener required, Colin) but it had a slide-rule attached in case the on-board computer went down. I *really* want one of those! Where can I get one?
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
