back to article Telco firm, Coke sponsor Filipino crucifixion festival

Filipino phone outfit Smart Telecommunications and Coca Cola will be soaking up the goodwill today as key sponsors of a mass Good Friday crucifixion in the Philippines. The City of San Fernando’s annual Good Friday re-enactment of Christ’s Passion is set to include not one, not three, but 23 real live crucifixions, as eager …


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  1. James O'Brien


    And this just in. Today the part of Christ will be played by Christ sponsored by: COCA COLA. Where we have nothing but the real thing for this crucifixion.

    Bob whats that on the side of that cross? Do I see a logo on the left arms there from Smart Telecommunications? And check that out Jese is a Marlboro man. I would have never guessed.

    Why is it that we *NEED* corporate sponsorship for THIS?? Oh wait right, Catholic church, biggest money pot in the world but they need it for all the lawsuits. . .silly me.

    /yeah the cross in the corner. Thats mine. No the one with the Pepsi logo. Jackass doesnt even know the meaning of Passover anymore.

  2. James O'Brien
    Gates Horns

    On a side note.

    (yeah I kow two posts. So shoot me :) )

    Im going to hell for that last comment. WHOS WITH ME??

  3. JK

    Pretty f'ed up.

    Well, as the title says. That's pretty fucked up. The whole thing.

  4. Fred


    I recon we should crucify all the MP's and certain seniour managers from around the country...

  5. Nathanael Bastone

    Vinegar soaked sponge

    "Thirsty Jesus? Have a Coke®."

    Not acctually too dissimilar, when you think of the pH of Coke syrup.

    /mines the one with "eternal damnation" on the back.

  6. Sam

    What a way to spend Easter..

    "You can see my house from up here.."

  7. Elmer Phud
    Thumb Up

    Do us a favour, lads . . .

    . . .don't piss about, no faking.

    None of the 'standing on a small platform', the idea is slow asphyxiation.

    Remember -- It's the Real Thing

    (The gene pool will be enriched as it becomes less diluted by religious fanatics)

  8. Trevor
    Gates Horns

    Sponsored crucifiction?

    Is that like 50p per nail per hour or what?

    "Oh telco, why have you forsaken me? Surely its worth a bit more than a fiver? I'm up there all day you know!"

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Product Placement

    "What Smart and Coke get out of it is hard to see - these deals typically include some kind of product placement."

    Perhaps a video of all 23 participants with a can of coke nailed to their foreheads and singing in unison "We are the next world"?

    Seems to me that 'good taste' is a non-starter here.

  10. Davide Inglima

    The Blood of Christ.

    I wonder if they will substitute wine with coke during the last supper recreation.

  11. Anonymous Coward

    let's get these over with

    Their competitors are bound to be cross; I bet their marketing teams got a good lashing over failing to nail that particular market.

    Coke are no doubt knocking on wood to make sure this operation is a killing, at any rate they really got the crux of responsible sponsorship.

    (Let he who has never made a bad pun cast the first stone...)

  12. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    They really get nailed ?

    Man, looks like Mel Gibson should be down there doing the sponsoring, not Coke.

  13. Bad Beaver
    Jobs Halo

    Water into wine and unlimited SMS

    Yes, the hands-free thing is pretty self-evident...


  14. Steve

    Old Jingle

    It used to be "Have a Coke and a Smile", but I'm not so sure now.

  15. XML slave
    Gates Horns

    Promoting Darwinism

    Why does everyone think this is a BAD idea? If these people are mentally unstable enough to think voluntary crucifixion is appropriate, then I think any illness/death ensuing from said actions are equally appropriate. It's Darwin's Theory at it's best! Better yet, Coca-Cola is throwing it's support behind Darwin's Theory, and possibly improving their sales at the same time. Making money off of human suffering? Capitalism at it's best!

    I'm cheering for the skinny guy with the beard. He may not look tough, but inside he's a real penitent! I'll put 20 quid on him.

    The pic for capitalism.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Coke in one hand, mobe in the other...

    "Wait a minute, I can't reach either one cause somebody's gone and nailed my hands to this cross."

    By the way, if you look closely, many of them have little platforms to stand on. Bit of a cheat that...

    PS: I'm going to post this anonymously so that even God won't know who I am.

  17. Stuart

    Always look on the bright side of life.

    dadah dadah dadadada.... Look somebody had to do it:-) Oh and I am a Christian nut; but just have to question the practice here: wasn't the whole point of J's crucifixion being a sacrifice for ALL our sins? Oh...they're catholic...but still, don't they just have to go into the confession box get on their knees and blow the priest for forgivenness?:-)

    Forgive me father for I have sinned and actually approached my faith with some righteous humour:-)

    Wot? Three million 'ail Mary's? See ya later!:-)

    All the best and please forgive these Phillipino's Lord... oh... and me.


  18. ian

    Where is the IT angel (er.. angle)?

    Surely Smart is providing cell towers disguised as crosses. Careful lads, don't drive that spike into the 5-volt mains...

  19. Beelzeebub

    he he he....

    My minions just can't wait to receive these cretins, nails are easy compared to what you get down here.

    Flame because that's the way I like it, ah ah.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    One can only hope some of these nutcases manage to take themselves out of the genepool via excessive blood loss...

    - A Despairing Atheist

  21. TS

    I hope at least...

    The crucified get a hands-free headset and a straw...

  22. Captain DaFt
    Dead Vulture

    Speaking of bad sponsorship...

    How about this little link that appears at the top of the article, just below the title:

    Nail down your security priorities. Ask the experts and your peers at The Register Security Debate, April 17, 2008 ?

    Seems like El Reg jumped on the bad taste bandwagon with this one!

  23. JK
    Paris Hilton

    Re: Promoting Darwinism

    Well, see... I suppose it'd be OK if they did the crucifixion via nail to the forehead, or perhaps the crotch -- but they aren't. So it's hardly promoting Darwinism. :p

  24. Tim Groven

    Appropriate comment

    Nail down your security priorities. Ask the experts and your peers at The Register Security Debate, April 17, 2008

    That was in bad taste. :-P

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Via Cola'rosa

    Hope someone remembers to take them back down again then.

  26. Sam

    re; Via Cola'rosa

    You're meant to take them back down? Oh....

  27. Justin White

    Last comment from the Crucified?

    "It is refreshing."

    "It is Smart."

    "Actually, I'm a Pepper too."

  28. Anonymous from Mars
    Thumb Up


    You had me at crucifest.

  29. paul claudio


    Perhaps instead of INRI labeled on top of the crucified peeps, which is exclusively reserved for thy savior, its says Smart.

    /me thinks maybe i'll try coke from a sponge as its new delivery system and find out if it'll taste like vinegar.

  30. Daniel B.

    @Promoting Darwinism

    Heh. Something similar is done over here, in the Iztapalapa borough of Mexico City.

    Funny thing, that place is also best known for thriving with robbers, drug dealers and all kinds of nasty people. So from the religious POV, they would go to hell anyway ;)

    Local mainstream media does give this "viacrusis" coverage, but no sponsorships yet...

  31. Slaine
    Dead Vulture

    ...can you put me up for the night?

    S'cuse me while I re-read this article... Nope, still don't believe it... hang on, I'll try again... Nope. Look, REALLY... people actually WANT to be nailed to a tree... and they haven't even gone to the trouble of saying "how great it would be to be nice to people for a change" first? yes? Oh sod that for a lark - just use one nail each... straight through the empty forehead.


    1st on the right, one cross each.

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