back to article Boozed Belarusian dodges birthday train squish

A Belarus woman snoozed her way through a near-death experience in Brest after she ended her birthday with a kip on a railway track. Svetlana Yurkova had been celebrating her 32nd birthday in the time-honoured fashion when she was overcome with fatigue, and found herself a comfortable place to bed down. "I just lay down on …

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  1. Mike Morris
    Alien

    Darwin disappointed...

    Really the best case for intelligent design I've heard to date.

  2. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Oh horror

    Just how the modern culture has degraded - Anna Karenina with a happy ending!

  3. XML slave
    Unhappy

    Murphy's Law

    Poor Darwin, even he can be thwarted by Murphy. What a story to kick off my St. Patricks day celebrations.

  4. Graham Jordan

    Best story EVER.

    Beats the hoover shagger by a long shot.

    No way to get a head in life lying on train tracks, still makes quality reading.

  5. GettinSadda
    Boffin

    @XML slave

    You are 2 days too late - today is not St. Patrick's day, that was Saturday.

    It was moved, for this year only, as the Catholic Church do not allow saint's days during holy week.

  6. Vaidotas Zemlys
    Pirate

    Those crazy belarussians

    Lately belarussians seem to have a knack for extremes. I read a story recently that belarussian police catched speeding car by blocking the road with other cars with people in them. They just ordered them to stop, block the road and wait. Apparently they did not want to damage their own cars :)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    welcome sarah

    The lurking figure of Charles Darwin was observed fleeing the scene, cursing extravagantly

    love it

  8. amlendu

    Oh Sh**

    Hope no one dumped on her !

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    @ GettinSadda

    Speaking as an Irish Man in Dublin and watching the parade rolling past I can tell you that St Patrick’s day, our national holiday, is most certainly today, Catholic church bedammed.

  10. XML slave

    @GettinSadda

    Very true. However I have two wonderful counterpoints to your argument :)

    1) I long since stopped listening to the Catholic Church.

    2) As is my understanding of Irish tradition, the celebration and libations often extend past the deadline.

    Cheers!

  11. Sam
    Coat

    Kaiser chiefs/IT reference

    Altogether; "Ruby ruby ruby! Whao-o-o-oh!"

    Ruby on rails.....

    The track workers donkey jacket, ta.

  12. Alan Donaly
    Go

    It is St Patrick's day.

    It's raining and nasty it has to be. Go cause it's green natch.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    @Sarah

    You have your own piece published, Hurrah!!!

    Glad to see an article with your byline, you're a consistently funny and realistic respondent to the comments section

    </sycophancy>

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No pics?

    I wanna see this belarusian superwoman who was drunk enough to survive being run over by a train.

  15. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @Sarah

    Why thank you, AC. I will not be smiting you today.

    (I've done a few bits before actually. How could you forget the plight of the Tasmanian devils? HOW?)

  16. Gordon Matson
    Go

    pedant's corner

    just to clarify, the religous celebration was moved to the 15th as it co-incided with another holiday.

    However, the annual guiness fuelled, blarney fest continues today regardless. Although judging from the nick of my Irish flatmate, celebrations started at somepoint on Thursday and will continue well into Wednesday.

  17. John Macintyre
    Coat

    and yet

    nobody seems to have noticed that she came from 'Brest'. Awesome

    Mine's the one with razzler in the inside pocket

  18. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    re: and yet

    Google has: try googling the first sentence of the story.

  19. Fuzzy
    Happy

    Alcohol the all powerful

    HaiL Alcohol in all it's forms. In sufficient quantities it has the power to thwart both Murphy and Darwin's laws

  20. Roger McSpoonie

    Journalistic Excellence

    "The lurking figure of Charles Darwin was observed fleeing the scene, cursing extravagantly."

    That sentence is superb.

  21. Corey Keasling
    Gates Halo

    The old saying is true...

    God looks out for drunks and fools

  22. John Watts
    Joke

    The Principle of Excess

    This seems to be a shining example of the above principle as discussed by Armando Iannucci in "The Armando Iannucci Shows". It goes something along the lines of - if you drink 3 pints and drive, you will have an accident. If you have 13 pints and drive you will wake up at home with the car perfectly parked on the drive (someone else's perhaps but perfectly parked nonetheless).

    By the same token, if you steal a DVD from Woolworths you'll get a criminal record; if you steal a whole country you become king.

    Don't do things by halves and you can't go wrong - you just have to go for excess - bottle out half way through and it's no good!

    I don't drive by the way and don't condone drinking 13 pints whether you're driving or not.

  23. Troy Shanahan
    Go

    Not new

    There was actually a guy here in Australia who did a similar thing, except he actually slept on the sleepers between the rails. And he woke up, hitting his head on one of the train's axles, thankfully the train was slowing down to stop at the next station.

    Still, excellent article Sarah. Classic use of Darwin there...

  24. Jon Tocker

    Mental note:

    If I fall asleep somewhere and am suddenly awaked by a thunderous noise and a shaking of the ground: DO NOT sit bolt-upright and shout "What the fuck!?!?"

    Anyway, she's a bloody lucky chick...

    I wish / could afford to get that drunk.

    Great article, Sarah.

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