back to article NZ charidee cybersquatter fears burning in Hell

A Kiwi cybersquatter has recanted his domain hostage-taking after a Bible-powered epiphany taught him the error of his ways. Jeff Twigge, of Palmerston North*, North Island, used to see himself as a Robin Hood figure, ransoming domains and donating the proceeds to charity. But now he's issued a public apology for his misdeeds …


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  1. Nick Miles
    Thumb Down


    Palmerston North was my favourite place in NZ!

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Palmerston North

    Flippin' heck - as a North Islander myself I would agree with your 'in house Kiwi' ...

    ... but it seems the NZ tourism board is trying to pretend the place is worth visiting!

    To misappropriate a well know quote from 'Lost Boys':

    "One thing I never could stomach about New Zealand ... all the damned Christians".

  3. Damian Gabriel Moran

    extortioners eh?

    its not looking good for the tax man then!

  4. Chris Miller

    Palmerston North

    I made the mistake of living in Palmerston North for a brief period - or "Palmy" as it is more affectionately known. Quite an apt name, given that the place is full of wankers.

  5. Ferry Boat

    Monkey gone to heaven

    What a really great idea. Shame that religion had to spoil it. At least he never Twigged until now.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ AC

    The activities look fascinating... I must go to the power station, conference centre and the airport. Actually skip straight to airport.....

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Your in-house kiwi,...

    never had to live in Ekatahuna (say "ekka-tar-who-nar") for 18 years; I'll see your shit-hole and raise you a in-bred, banjo-playing, tui-swilling shanty town.

  8. Chris Miller

    Accept no substitute

    Hey ElReg - don't you have a uniqueness filter on your 'posting names'? No relation to the Chris Miller above :)

    Palmy is no doubt a strong contender for the worst place to live in NZ, which means it's only about 10x better than the best place to live in the UK, then ...

  9. cottonfoo

    Palmy North

    Driven through it a few times on my way to Wellington. Grim it most certainly is.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    still better craphole uk

    native brit and agree that anywhere in NZ....even Auckland is better than anywhere in Britain.

    People are friendly, people at bus stops talk to each other rather than glare / reach for their "knife, gun, bat, golf club, sharpened screwdriver" / mutter "how dare you talk to me, I don;t even know you....what nerve!!" like most people do in the uk

    frankly there are times i wish this island would erupt into civil war....might get rid of the rest of worlds detritus along with our own.

    kwiland is my favorite place on earth and my mind boggles as to why kiwis stick around here so long..........."higher pay" is a common one I've heard...but with the stupid amount people charge for rent....surely thats almost cancelled out?

  11. John Hawkins

    Its speled Eketahuna

    I didn't like living in Palmy ( boring and flat ) but Eke used to be an OK spot apart from the weather; been nearly 30 years since I left the area though. Fairy typical kiwi rural settlement ( I hesitate to use the word 'town' ), for some reason those wusses in Auckland decided it was the type example of an inbred kiwi backwoods hole.

  12. Law
    Paris Hilton

    RE: still better craphole uk

    "native brit and agree that anywhere in NZ....even Auckland is better than anywhere in Britain."

    How dare you sir - you have obviously never visited the paradise known only as "Manchester". You stand corrected.

    The paris icon because I believe she is the Kingdom Of Heaven

    (ps - nice touch on the trademark!)

  13. Chris McKay

    Palmerston North's other claim to fame

    Also famous for John Cleese describing it as a "wonderful place to commit suicide" whereupon the good folk of Palmy renamed their rubbish dump after the man.

  14. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    Twin Ilsands Of The Long White Shroud

    Need one say more , the only thing stopping the place from sinking below the horizon into obscurity whence it belongs is the million Oz tourists visiting this unremarkable place in the Pacific , whilst the it's remaining smarter population of natives and imports migrate to the west for a better paid life in the warm sun !

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You guys have no idea.....

    Anywhere in the Kiwi world is preferable to the horrors of the Southern US, such as East Tennessee. It's actually fairly pretty there, but if you stray anywhere into the countryside you'll run into the banjo players and hicks. I remember going down the Andy Griffith Parkway and seeing an early sixties Ford pass me painted in blue acrylic housepaint and decorated with at least ten CB antennae. And don't get me started on how every last one of them had to have at least five dogs running wild in the yard.

  16. ryan
    Paris Hilton

    @ Chris McKay

    "... renamed their rubbish dump after the man."

    That's pretty funny. I like that. Don't know the place but that has got to be at least 1 point in there favor.

    (Paris, I bet SHE wishes she had a rubbish dump named after her.)

  17. Solomon Grundy

    @You guys have no idea.....

    East Tennessee is one of the friendliest and most beautiful places on Sol. I lived there the first 28 years of my life and I really miss it now that I'm living with the "civilized people" up near DC.

    Bad paint jobs and a preference for CB's and dogs aside, some of the kindest and most generous people anywhere live down there. If they treat you bad, it's caused you deserve it (or your skin tone is offensive :).

  18. combatwombat


    This guy had the guts to act on his convictions. No, i don't give a rat's tushy if you think the Bible's a crock. He believes it, he's trying to follows the guidelines laid out in it. Wouldn't the world be a better place if there were more like him?

    Proud to be a Kiwi.

  19. Martin Ryan

    @ 2 x anon - what no banjo comebacks?

    Where are all El Reg's banjo players? Why no witty ripostes?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Surely that's "Paris is the best place to dump your man-rubbish"

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is a pizza place ... make up your own "wouldn't want to burn" etc ...

  22. adnim


    A christian admitting to hypocricy. Ergo a christian who is wrong. Just need the several million other hypocrites of various religions we share the planet with to hold their hands up too. Maybe there is some hope for human intellect after all.

    As for Palmerston North it's got to be a much better place to live than many UK inner city areas. Though to be honest I'm not really qualified to say.

    For the pedants... Yes, I know christian is supposed to be capitalised.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Halo

    I was going to make a joke about but he does appear to have taken ownership already. he favours online affilate webstores, bold backgrounds, basic html and online dontations.

    He also favours commenting source code which is a true sign of a God and gives me credence in mightly smiting those who dare to blaspheme against the holy testament thou shall always include comments in thy code and so will thou be punished with the plagues of phorm and the wailing of 12,000 baud and the [...cont page 24]

  24. Andrew Gore
    IT Angle

    Palmy's claims to fame

    Palmy - "a shithole of a town"? We're proud of our shithole!

    Not to mention our most famous daughter - Madge Allsop, Dame Edna's Bridesmaid. When she visited, she was feted as a celebrity, a sad loss to the world, she is.

    There are definitely worse places than Palmy. (the icon, because that's the last two letters of the 'hole' we supposedly are)

  25. Rich
    Thumb Up

    Tauranga's worse than Palmy

    However, the Taurangans *think* they live in paradise. Palmy has a university, so they can be educated to realise what a shithole the place is.

    NZ friendliness for the win, though. Genuine quote from a pommy copper who relocated down here: "everyone's nice. Even the criminals I arrest are nice".

  26. Bevyn Quiding


    can you bugger off too then, and take your whingeing with you.

  27. Anonymous Coward

    NZ is paradise

    ...and this coming from an Aussie too !

    Palmy is just 1% of the place. There are loads of amazing places that make Palmy just a drive-thru destination.

    Go, go there and see for yourself.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    @banjo players

    I'm reminded of the old saw...

    "The best sound I ever heard out of an accordian was the noise it made when landing atop a banjo in the dumpster."

    but on the other hand, I AM a fan of Bela Fleck...

    Mine's the slicker with the aquamarine housepaint job and the two CB antennae.

  29. Tom Austin

    Palmie vs London

    Lost too many years of my youth trying to make a go of it in the soul-dead flat emptiness that is Palmie. The horror, the dull, unrelentingly vacant gloom of sport-only tedium and nothing-else-going-on-here-forever: it still haunts and drives me now.

    Thank God and Blighty for all things London. Even the sideways sleet and knife-wielding hoodies are more interesting.

    The Palmie Stop Sign, where all hope must be abandoned before entry.

    (Still, it will ALWAYS be better than Tauranga. And Hamilton.)

  30. Bob

    I think he'll be alright...

    ...i mean after all, the bible is only fictional...


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