Bolluxed router configuration? Click here for help

Here's a refreshingly frank marketing email to start the week, courtesy of PacketTrap Network Management Solutions: The Failures: Sluggish network...*#$!%!....Is it the server? The application? How about a bolluxed router configuration? An overtaxed port on a switch? Or it could be...just about a few hundred other things... …

[TeeCee]

Bollux?

Is this a fusion of "bollocks" and "mux", meaning "a whole shitload of different bollocks in one place"?

If so, I like it. A useful neologism at last and one that I shall use.

[Rik]

"Presumably, PacketTrap's solution boasts an emergency "Debollux" button"

Buttons? I want the kit to provide three commandline tools: bolluxfind, unbollux and bolluxmon. GUIs just get in the way of efficiently debolluxing what needs to be debolluxed, and furthermore, the leaner and meaner the tools themselves are, the less chance of a programmer bolluxing the unbolluxer.

[Chris Phillips]

Good for them!

If only we could say that to our real customers face to face when they dump this on our desks...

[John Hawkins]

Debollux button?

Instead of your basic vasectomy? Sounds a bit messy,

[Darren Coleman]

Obligatory nerdy reply

Router(config)# no bollux

Router(config)#

[Anonymous Coward]

<no title>

Brilliant. Full marks to them. Hope it results in more orders rather than less and we'll see more companies trying that style :-D

[Carl]

Debollux

Shouldn't everything in life have a debollux button? Put it right next to undo...

[Paul James]

More bollux

You've got to have bollux to send out stuff like that. Brilliant.

[Ash]

Debollux button

DROP TABLE "Users";

COMMIT;

(IANADBE)

[David Cornes]

Etymology

I'm guessing they used the word "bollux" instead of the more anglo-saxon "bollocks" to try and squeeze through any profanity filters on the way..?

[peter]

@TeeCee

I spell it like that. It's kinda like writing "BS" instead of bull shit - somehow, it's just that extra bit politer.. ;)

[Nermal]

Cool But....

Would it work for Apple, Microsoft, Sun or other?

[Dalen]

(Placeholder for a witty title)

Now that's the kind of spam I might look into.

I know, I know, it promotes further spamming... but still...

[Anonymous Coward]

... and Han Solo

Bollux was the name used for a robot in an early Han Solo story (something about entertainers and circuses, I think). In the next book in the series the name was mysteriously change to Zollux - I think someone noticed ....

(maybe I should have posted this anonymously, rather than admitting in public that I used to read Star Wars spinoff novels)

[Albert Waltien]

On the western shore of the great water...

here in the U. S. of A. we sometimes use the expression "all bolluxed up" to mean "all messed up" or (heavens!) "all f****d up" without having a clue as to what "bollocks" means. Only the handful of Shakespeare readers are aware of the anatomical implications of the word. Ignorant lot, we Yanks!

[alistair millington]

@Nermal

Can you imagine if M$ used that? or Apple.

Get the new upgrade for Vista, "Because our coders dropped a clanger, someone smarter than our guys are could remotely bollux your machine"

Or

"because Vista has bolluxed up and died, we are having to reboot, sorry for making an arse of your system, if you want to see what the benaal report contains and listen to us talk cr*p at you because we don't know which bit of the sh*te software is to blame, then click here."

That would be nice and refreshing.

I do like that email though...

[Alistair Wall]

@ Ash

flashback table "Users" to before drop;

or if you are using a cheapo version of Oracle,

create table "Users" as select * from "Users" as of timestamp (systimestamp-1/24);

[Anonymous Coward]

Its Bollix

Alway sBollix not bollocks or ballicks or ballaux........

[sack]

Okay... own up

who is waiting in the wings with the patent for 'a method or apparatus for reverting software or related equipment from a bolluxed state?' to troll this one?

[Ishkandar]

Anonymous Coward - Its Bollix

No !! That's French for the same thing (see Asterix the Gaul) !!