back to article MoD goat-bothering boffinry to cease

The UK Ministry of Defence is to cease experiments involving goats in compression chambers, it has announced. The British forces now believe they have all the data they need regarding the likely effects of different decompression regimes, making further testing unnecessary. For the past 11 months, UK animal decompression …


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  1. George Johnson


    But after you get past the following four steps a dozen or so times, why do you need to keep doing it ?

    1. Goat in

    2. Goat goes mental

    3. Goat dies

    4. Autopsy on dead goat, if it hasn't exploded all over inside of capsule

  2. Anonymous Coward

    They blow goats, it's true...

    'Nuff said.

  3. Bob Hoskins
    Paris Hilton


    Relatively few goats actually died let alone exploded, not that I'm suggesting they were very happy about the whole thing - they almost certainly were not.

    Icon because, well, Paris + decompression chamber = interesting reality TV.

  4. Mike Richards

    Where will they get their kicks now?

    No more goat in rubber suit action for the Navy boys? Guess they'll have to go back to the staples of rum, sodomy and the lash.

  5. Dr. Mouse Silver badge
    Dead Vulture

    Sounds like fun... @George Johnson

    So why are they stopping it? Sounds GREAT!

    I could do that all day, although my research would be quite different:

    See what conditions produce the most amusing results.

    How does the number of goats crammed in the chamber affect the laughter of the spectators?

    Which breeds of goats produce the funnyiest deaths?


    The list goes on :D

    Dead vulture is the closest to a dead goat i could find

  6. Anonymous Coward

    as the song goes...

    blow blow blow your goat,

    gently down the stream,

    merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,

    life in submarines...

    erm... i'll get my goat...

  7. Robin
    Dead Vulture

    There is still a lot to learn about decompression

    Ignoring all the flippant comment there are a vast number of variables involved in decompression and research has a long way yet to go. For one there are limitless gas mixes to use, Air, Nitrox, Oxegen, TriMix, HeliOx, HeliAir, mixes of Hydrogen and Oxygen and any mix of the aforementioned. (As long as there is less than 8-10% O2 in the HydoOx is not explosive).

    More and more civilian divers are now exploring extreme profiles and need all the data they can get for safe dives (although admittedly anything Haslar found out recently will not be in the civy world for a while). They are also contributing to better chamber treatments for those who do get bent.

    Deco research has also moved beyond pushing it till the goats are bent (fnarr fnarr) then backing off a little. Now ultrasound doplar detectors are used to detect gas phase (bubbles) loading at sub clinical levels.

    I for one shall mourn the loss of our caprine colleagues.

    I chose the Vulture that forgot to breath out when he ascended

  8. Colin Millar
    Thumb Up

    @ Robin

    So why not just experiment on macho BSAC types? - after all they are immune to pain.

    Good to see there is an IGMC icon for divers.

  9. b shubin

    Similar how?

    easy way to judge, put the goats in a sub with the swabbies, then see if you can tell the diff in dim lighting.

  10. Alistair

    This story really gets my goat

    Does this mean that curried goat will no longer be on the menu in the ethnic restaurants of Portsmouth?

    Mine's the cashmere one

  11. Anonymous Coward

    I can't beleive it ...

    The Navy, MoD and goats - still no ones mentioned goatse ? or is that a little too wide of the mark ....

    Mines the urban body armour please ....

  12. Anonymous Coward

    20,000 goats under the sea


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