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back to article Dwarves hidden in sports bags target Swedish coaches

Swedish police are quizzing "people of limited stature" with criminal records following a spate of robberies from the cargo holds of coaches - possibly carried out by dwarves smuggled onboard in sports bags. According to the Sun, the gang responsible pack their vertically-challenged accomplices into bags and stick them in with …

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  1. David Rollinson
    Thumb Up

    Sound like a job for...

    Crime-fighting baggage-handler, John Smeaton!

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  2. Rodrigo Andrade

    I for one...

    ...welcome our new travel-sized thieving overlords.

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  3. Niklas Kallström

    Wow...

    How the hells did I miss this in the local papers?

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  4. Pin

    @Niklas

    Well, if it's from the Sun and you didn't see it in your local paper... it's probably made up :)

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  5. Steve
    Thumb Up

    Laughing Gas

    I was going to suggest evacuating the cargo hold or flooding with CO, but flooding it with nitrous oxide would be funnier all round.

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  6. Paul Darcy
    Coat

    cant help it

    Nothing wrong with a little crime. They should get inch high private eye on the job. I can see the film now "zero vert crime"

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  7. Paul Cooper
    IT Angle

    What the Dickens!

    Nothing new under the sun - Dickens documented the use of children in crime in the 19th century (Oliver Twist, for example)! And I daresay it had been around for a while then.

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  8. Adam Foxton
    Coat

    To badly misquote Scotsman John Smeaton

    "Swebus doesn't accept this. That's just Swebus; we'll set about ye, wee man!"

    Rule 8 invoked.

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  9. Sam

    Soloution

    Hire British baggage handlers..the little bastards will be too injured to do anything!

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  10. David Heys

    Perhaps...

    Perhaps the police have already drawn up a shortlist of gnome suspects.

    </coat>

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's not big...

    but it's certainly clever!

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  12. One-armed Freddy

    Update!

    Police announced this morning that notorious crimelord Snow White has been taken into custody. Ms White of Dwarf Cottage is known to be the leader of a seven strong gang of miscreants.

    Ms White accused her step mother of trying to poison her four years ago, however the case was dropped due to a lack of evidence. It has been speculated that the resulting frustration may have been the motivating factor in her subsequent crimes.

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  13. Ash
    Coat

    Dwarves in Bags pinch Loot from Folk on Buses

    That's the tall and short of it.

    Mine's the one in petite, please.

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    With apologies to Terry Pratchett

    Sounds like the work of a Low Wayman!

    I'll get me coat

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  15. eurobloke
    Coat

    Have the Sverige Polisen asked...

    Jon Holmes?

    I will get my coat, yes the one for the 1,62m (5'4") person

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  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Forget the video camera

    Just put in a rottweiler...

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  17. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Laughing Gas...NO!

    Steve, I predict a very pissed-off David Bowie turning up on your doorstep real soon now. There are some things he's trying to forget and you're not helping......

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  18. Geoff Thompson
    Coat

    Mounties

    Get the mounties in, they always bag their man!

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  19. Chris Taylor

    Proper Job

    Hopefully they will be able to re habilitate the offenders - perhaps finding them a job writing comedy prose for radio shows.

    Inevitably they will earn lots of money and live on cavier and honey

    I'll need my coat as I want a cigarette outside ....ave you got a light boy ?

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  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In the Sun and true!

    Did a quick check of the local Swedish papers and it does appear to be true. A link for anyone does know the lingo :

    http://vasteras.expressen.se/nyheter/1.1013474/en-dvargliga-lansar-swebus-bussar

    John Turnip

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  21. Jolyon Ralph
    Happy

    Time Bandits!

    ... of course.

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  22. Torben Mogensen

    It is only a matter of time ...

    ... until coaches scan all baggage with airport-style scanners, which should stop such schemes.

    Until then, I will do as I have always done: Put all my valuables in my "cabin" luggage that I never leave out of sight.

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  23. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Oh, dear.

    I can hear their normal-sized accomplices accepting at the Crime Awards now.

    "I'd like to thank the little people..."

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  24. Peter Lenz
    Paris Hilton

    Title...

    Greatest...Title...Ever....

    Why Paris? Why not?

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  25. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    This has gone on too long

    Shorten it up, people!

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  26. Christoph
    Coat

    The answer is obvious

    Use Heathrow baggage handlers to load the luggage onto the coach.

    The dwarves will be too bruised and battered to steal anything.

    And there'll be nothing left to nick, anyway.

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  27. Tim
    Paris Hilton

    Easy to solve

    In just 20 seconds I've solved this case which has been baffling police. Put a guard outside the men's toilets and stop anyone who walks in with an empty bag, closely followed by a dwarf and then comes out with mysteriously heavy bag.

    Failing that an IR camera will show a hot luggage up easily. And everyone knows if luggage is hot it's either carrying a stowed away short in stature criminal, or a celebrities undersized pooch

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  28. J
    Paris Hilton

    Would they be...

    Would the suspects by any chance be Russian, blue, funnily-dressed, angry little people? It could be the trauma, you know...

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  29. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Misidentification

    I'm sure you'll find the dwarfs are completely innocent, its those damn gnomes that are behind it all, and any druid will confirm this.

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  30. b shubin
    Coat

    Obligatory and offensive

    you know this has to happen, don't fight it.

    "it was a perfectly safe baggage compartment, until they tossed a dwarf in it..."

    number 23 please, the one with the armored vest on the inside.

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  31. Dean Ransevycz
    Dead Vulture

    Purge The Register Linguistic Soviet!

    "Dwarfs", man! "Dwarfs"!

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  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I think...

    ...it's just an excuse. In reality those dwarfs were packed for the entertainment of the Swedish team. You know what I mean. (That's right! Dwarf tossing.) But when they were discovered the coaches needed an excuse. "Theft" they said, attempting to divert attention away from the bags full of lubricant.

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  33. Argus Tuft
    Pirate

    simple

    just flood the luggage hold with CO2

    (or for the greenies amongst us, some other inert non-ozone-depleting gas not made from whales)

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  34. Mr Larrington
    Coat

    Send for...

    ...Mr Justice Cocklecarrot!

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  35. lansalot
    Coat

    Settle an argument

    My mate Mark assures me that this isn't so much a job for "Bilbo Baggins", as "Bilbo InBags".

    Should he get his coat ?

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  36. Neil Crook
    Coat

    The solution

    Perhaps they should draft in pint sized security guard Gary Coleman...

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  37. Matt
    Black Helicopters

    Houdini wrote about this in his book

    ...The Right Way To Do Wrong

    see: http://conservativebooktalk.com/2007/12/09/the-right-way-to-do-wrong-by-harry-houdini/

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  38. vits3k

    First photo of culprit!

    Caught on camera: Dwarf targeting a Swedish coach

    http://uk.geocities.com/vits3k/sc/gimer.jpg

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  39. tony trolle

    not the Dwarves ?

    its the Smurfs, Smurfing the luggage. How far away is Belgian from Sweden ?

    AFAIK anyway too much Tolkien its dwarfs

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  40. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Collective noun?

    A "Duffle (bag) of Dwarfs" perhaps?

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