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Crime-fighting baggage-handler, John Smeaton!
Swedish police are quizzing "people of limited stature" with criminal records following a spate of robberies from the cargo holds of coaches - possibly carried out by dwarves smuggled onboard in sports bags. According to the Sun, the gang responsible pack their vertically-challenged accomplices into bags and stick them in with …
Police announced this morning that notorious crimelord Snow White has been taken into custody. Ms White of Dwarf Cottage is known to be the leader of a seven strong gang of miscreants.
Ms White accused her step mother of trying to poison her four years ago, however the case was dropped due to a lack of evidence. It has been speculated that the resulting frustration may have been the motivating factor in her subsequent crimes.
In just 20 seconds I've solved this case which has been baffling police. Put a guard outside the men's toilets and stop anyone who walks in with an empty bag, closely followed by a dwarf and then comes out with mysteriously heavy bag.
Failing that an IR camera will show a hot luggage up easily. And everyone knows if luggage is hot it's either carrying a stowed away short in stature criminal, or a celebrities undersized pooch
...it's just an excuse. In reality those dwarfs were packed for the entertainment of the Swedish team. You know what I mean. (That's right! Dwarf tossing.) But when they were discovered the coaches needed an excuse. "Theft" they said, attempting to divert attention away from the bags full of lubricant.
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