back to article Dildo rails dirty? Help is at hand

We're very much obliged to Martin Walsh for alerting us to the services of cleaning outfit MK Londyn. When the company says it'll "clean everything except your pocket", it's not joking: MK Londyn screen grab with typo reading 'dildo rails' Good Lord. Of course, the DIYers among you will know what MK Londyn is trying to say, …


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  1. Paul Nicholls

    Hover Upholstery?!

    Pardon me, but I prefer my furniture to be all properly assembled and sitting firmly on the floor. I'd rather bits of it weren't floating around the room. On the other hand, their hover technology may be able to be put to other, more practical uses - if they're willing to reveal the secrets behind leaving the fabric on your couch in mid-air.

  2. Tony Macartney

    also an excellent idea......

    ....that they can clean the floors of a room by simply levitating all the furniture to make access underneath simpler. Genius!!! Suppose it lessens the chance of a scary surprise if you should find a couple of discarded dildo rails under there

  3. PaddyR

    As well as cleaning the dildos

    They also hover your upholstery, is this a good way to get it clean.

  4. Juliette Martens

    Lazy-arsed crowd

    Just the RAILS of my dildo? Tsss, they can't even be bothered to clean the whole thing.

  5. Chris Woods

    Perhaps they're referring to this

    Potentially NSFW -

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I have a cunning plan...

    How about setting up a Dildo cleaning service, I'm sure paris would take you up on the offer...

  7. Daniel
    Jobs Halo

    is Ruby on your Rails?

    IT angle!

    (or to quote Monk, Ruby, My Dear ... !)

  8. supermeerkat

    What if it's a cleaning job for Ann Summers?

    Well, what if it is?

  9. Paul Hurst

    the last line on the webpage (at the very bottom)

    "This is our after building cleaning checklist. If you look closer you will find that we actually are doing everything. We even clean the walls. Nothing is omitted by our cleaners."

    so they use it, then clean the walls.


  10. Nick
    Paris Hilton

    A thorough job?

    They may be able to make furniture hover, but they've not got the best command of the English Language.

    (Waits for SPAG mistakes to be pointed out regarding this post).

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Of course....

    you remember the story of the guy who who was hospitalised after making out with the suction hoze on the vacuum cleaner; well is this the female equivalent?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'Hover Upholstery'

    I might just settle for (on?) a flying sofa if the flying car still isn't available.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    Where's the picture?

    Where's the picture?

  14. Simon C
    Dead Vulture

    There's faux pas and theres idiocy

    Making the dado/dildo representation mistake once is amusing, making it 3 times is blatent hilarity.

  15. spezzer

    Dildo Rail?

    that'll be the stainless steel kit you can get from all good high street shops. its a rail that fits on your wall which is ideal for storing all your favourite battery operated toys. the really expensive model comes with and AC/DC connector for recharging after particularly heavy sessions. cant understand why it hasnt been thought of before?

  16. tony trolle

    for the americans.

    translation dado = chair rail.

  17. tony trolle

    cob webbing

    just seen it. cob webbing ? ok English maybe a second language here; sounds like a large horse being strapped up

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