back to article Lindsay Lohan packed off to morgue

Talented thespiatrix and drunk driver Lindsay Lohan will do two four hour shifts in a morgue as part of a court-ordered programme designed to hammer home to DUI perps the consequences of getting sloshed behind the wheel. Lohan will also do two days working in a hospital emergency room as part of her punishment for misdemeanour …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    viva la revolution!


    TBH i think it's about time the little chav got some kind of punishment.

    Come the revolution and under the new laws all people charged with drink driving will be sent to monkey island where they'll indure all manner of punishments involving hot pokers and pitchforks.

  2. JP
    Dead Vulture

    2 days in ER??

    She'll be sending people on their way to the morgue then!

  3. Tim Lake

    Please, morgue workers...

    I urge one of you to lie under a sheet and jump up when she is wheeling your trolley along.

  4. kissingthecarpet

    @Tim Lake

    I for one, wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments - and perhaps some practical jokes involving body parts/corpses as well

  5. Anonymous Coward

    A worrying escalation in her sentencing

    Morgue, emergency room - if she keeps re-offending she'll eventually be performing brain surgery.

    I can see the judges haven't thought this one through, as usual.

  6. Iain

    Lohan in a morgue?

    Maybe she's looking for the career she had as a hugely talented teen actress with the likes of Mean Girls, Freaky Friday and The Parent Trap, before she misunderstood what they meant about being old enough for 'adult' roles.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    As someone who has known butchers, funeral directors and Morgue workers, I can safely say she will be grossed out. They will happliy eat their sandwiches whilst slicing something open. And getting the newbies to pick out the lumpy bits from the drains is always an option...

    Paris Hilton has they are one....

  8. Cesar
    Jobs Horns

    Yes, a Lindsay Lohan icon!

    She's deserving it, for sure.

  9. Steve

    @ viva la revolution!

    Monkey Island? What a waste!

    We should have an enforced Drunk Driver Demolition Death Derby. The further over the drink drive limit you are, the longer you have to stay in the arena before you can come out - if you survive that long.

    Naturally they don't get helmets or seat belts and if they drop below a minimum speed the car delivers an electric shock.

  10. PT

    @ Tim Lake ...

    "I urge one of you to lie under a sheet and jump up when she is wheeling your trolley along"

    Risky business. A friend of mine once tried that, but instead of wheeling him into the morgue his co-conspirators thought it would be much funnier to wheel him outside into the street, where they left him on the wrong side of a locked door naked except for a sheet and toe-tag.

  11. Conor Wynne
    Paris Hilton


    Your idea is sound, however, there are many of us who have never drunk drove, but would start to get a place in something that cool,

    Drink driving derby, it actually sounds like a cool idea.

    I vote for a Lindsey icon, she is much worse than Britney or dare I say it, Paris!

  12. D
    Paris Hilton

    It shames me

    to admit that I click on articles about celebrity starlets before I click on the IT articles.

  13. Kanhef


    Nothing wrong with it. It's like skipping to the comics before reading the serious part of the newspaper.

    That and schadenfreude.

  14. Schultz

    Sick, sick, sick

    No, I'm not talking about Lindsay Lohan, she is a babe, but about the preceding article on UnBoxing!

    What's worse than useless videos about mindless people unwrapping uselessly complicated packaging from mindnumbingly geeky stuff? Well, of course, it's well-researched articles asking for well-informed proposals on useless videos that ... well, it's not well at all, it's rather sick!

    And then there is not even an option to submit flaming comments, so Lindsay Lohan has to take the heat.

  15. Niall


    What's the bets some muppet with a hard-on for this particular eejit will injure hisself just so he can be subject to her ministrations in the ER. Or at least bleed all over the floor she'll be mopping up...

  16. Charles King
    Gates Horns

    Web 0.1

    I'm getting sick of the rampant factual errors in what passes for 'journalism' on the web. I mean, "talented"? Come on guys!!

  17. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    Dunno about the actress label being accurate?

    In one movie a very tired old Volkswagen car proved to be a far better then her less then her ham fisted 50 % of very trying forced effort and her last Horror Film effort well the critics were not altogether very kind about her lack of any real talent in the field and it seems even weeds in the cow paddock growing under manure would have done a better job so as to speak !

    As for several Disney Channel poor remakes of basically film fluff of past better made child films of another century without much meat on the bone, if it were not for the supporting cast even a guide dog for the blind would have left the theatre in disgust !

    Alas me thinks as an actress she will soon be down to following in the footsteps of the late Dana Plato if I am not mistaken or trying to emulate Linda Lovelace judging by the most popular torrents in her name ! Although as she is not cast in the same frame of women as immortalised by Ruben's I fail to see the description logic on most torrent downloads !

    As a singer , as Paris would say don't give up your day or any other job you have on hand !

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    After seeing her wonderful acting skills, I assumed she'd spent a lot of time in the morgue studying the carcasses stage presence.

  19. Sweep

    @ D

    IT articles?


  20. Tim Brown


    "Talented thespiatrix and drunk driver Lindsay Lohan will do two four hour shifts in a morgue as part of a court-ordered programme designed to hammer home to DUI perps the consequences of getting sloshed behind the wheel."

    Talented? TALENTED? What the hell have you been drinking? Ye gods. Have you SEEN "I know who killed me?"

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