Immigration Officer: Any history of problems with your ass?
Pilgrim: (Thinking I've never owned a donkey) No!
Immigration Officer: Welcome to the New World!
US researchers have identified a married couple who sailed from England to the US in around 1630 as the bearers of a genetic mutation which puts their numerous descendants at higher risk of a hereditary form of colon cancer. Reuters explains that cancer researchers at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Utah began to look into a …
But do you have enough suppositories for your troops to last through the journey from THERE to HERE ?? And if, by some lucky chance, they do arrive, will they be wading bow-legged ashore to the nearest NHS hospital with their trousers at half mast to get the badly needed treatment ??
Anyway, smart move by the Brits. If they are criminals, send them to Australia !! If they are diseased, send them to America !! And if they love sheep, send them to Kiwiland !!
I can just picture first dates of the future starting with an exchange of lists containing history of family disease.
"I'm sorry Bob; you seem like a really nice guy and I'm willing to accept that my family's history of pancreatic cancer cancels your family's history of kidney failure but your gene's likely hood of producing prostate cancer is a deal breaker."
- Hi i'm here to sign up for health insurance.
- What's you last name ? One second while we check your ancestry please..
I'm sorry you are not eligible because of a tendency on your mothers side for these 300 diseases and on your fathers side for these 300 diseases. I'm sorry but i'm afraid it's just too much of a hazard for us to insure you ... You can still pay 50 bucks a month , but that would limit you only to the reimbursement for band-aids and aspirin, since all other medication would fall under 'hereditary disease' for whih you are not insured...
My family is fresh off the boat from Denmark (escaping work in the Lego mines), and my father has had two bouts with colon cancer, and his father did not survive his run-in with it. I myself am going for a good old colon scavenge next week. England, consider yourself thoroughly buggered. Especially you in the Danelaw.
Not to "pooh-pooh" the "popcorn flush" idea, *butt* there are numerous potential "pitfalls."
If you purchase the "butter-flavored" variety, you run the risk of respiratory ailments from the diacetyl added to improve the taste. If you use real butter, you run the risk of coronary artery disease. You also run the risk of breaking a tooth on any un-popped "old maids." As if Brits and their progeny need any more dental "issues!"
And, of course, many folk are allergic to corn.
1640, I'd have thought that would have made them as American as Apple Pie, can't be that many European families in the US with a longer history than that.
Anyway, how do we know they weren't Normans who infected us a few hundred years before that. And we all know where they came from Mr. Viking.
(Histerical Note: The Normans were so called because they were originally Norce of course)
I'm british through and through which naturally makes me: Celt, Pict, Roman, Norse, Saxon, Angle, Frank, Phoniecian, and just about part of any european tribe you can think of who has settled here over the past few thousand years.
Didn't the Mormons go through a phase of extreme polygamy at one point? Didn't poor tracking give rise to a lot of defects such as albinoism, trisomy, heamophilia? I wouldn't be so sure about blaming that particular couple... besides how on earth would you get a concrete diagnosis of Cancer nearly four hundred years ago?
@ AC - you forgot to mention assorted North African types, Afro-Caribbean types and Sub-continental types to your mix !! And stir in a good dash of the Far East to spice up the stew !!
@JeffyPooh - yours is the "brute force" method. Try a more pleasant method of 15 pints of lager* followed by a bloody good Vindaloo !! Guaranteed to irrigate your colon like nothing else on Earth !!
* my mate argues that the substitution of *real ale* for the "foreign piss" gives better results !! He cites as proof that "India strength" ales, shipped out to the colonies, were the cause of the famous(??) Delhi Belly when added to industrial strength local cuisine !!