back to article BOFH: Beancounter bashing

"You know what your probblim is?" one of the Beancounters slurs, using the ISO certified phrase to indicate that the speaker's had too much to drink "'re out of touch!" "Really?" the PFY says, tipping back his drink with one hand while setting his modified cattle prod to 'stir-fry' with the other. "How's that then …


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  1. Harald Paterek


    Good one to end the year with.

    Happy new year to all of you!

  2. ChessGeek

    You Would Think...

    ...Simon would learn to avoid lifts where the PFY's involved.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What this LNER 4468 Mallard?

  4. Ferry Boat


    At last, something decent to read on this dull, dull day. I was beginning to think I'd read the whole internet over the holiday period. It seems to be most full of pictures of American peoples' pets.

  5. Bob
    Thumb Up

    Re: You Would Think...

    good quality tippex can make even the best of us forgetful...

  6. Rachael Lohr


    State-sider here ... what's tippex?

  7. Matthew Stoltenberg

    The real moral to the story

    is that Americans have it right in the way we number the floors in a building!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    If only there was some way to search for information

    >what's tippex?

    What's Google?

  9. Ferry Boat

    Tippex is...

    what you'd call whiteout or liquid paper. Tippex is the brand name.

    I smells nasty but when I were a lad you could get a few seconds of dizziness from a vapour snort. They've removed that ingredient now though.

  10. GrahamT


    Tippex = Snopake = correcting fluid

  11. Chris

    State-sider here ... what's tippex?

    Do you have white out?

    Referred to as idiot ink, for use on an old fashioned medium lacking such things as a delete key. White paint, found about offices for blanking out words on paper. Full of all sorts of exciting chemicals, which if pissed enough some one my try to get high on...

  12. Harald Paterek


    Tippex is white paint in a small bottle with a brush attached to the cap that one uses to paint over to be corrected parts of a document. After drying you can write / type the correction over it.

    It has a distinct solvent smell and probably contains enough chemicals to make an entire generation infertile.

  13. Mike Wood
    Thumb Up

    Simon's Revenge

    We all know that last year Simon got his revenge, thouught he would have known better after last years incident, looks like you can out bastard a BOFH!!!

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Tippex is what users put on their monitor when they make a typo

  15. Highlander

    Yeah! Tippex!

    The thing that made Tippex so popular was the inclusion of 1-1-1 trichloroethane, a chlorocarbon based solvent that had some interesting effects on health and perceptions when inhaled. Another solvent in the same group is Carbon Tetrachloride, which was used in some spot removers (think of those lovely little sprays that form a white crusty that you brush off along with your stain). Some maintain that carbon-tet was used in Tippex, but it wasn't. The trichloroethane was quite potent enough.

  16. Rosuav

    You'd think he'd learn...

    ... you can't outbastard your own trainee, you taught him too well for that!!

  17. Aditya Krishnan

    Still potent

    Here in India, we get a brand of liquid paper called Erazex. It comes separately as solvent and whitener. The solvent contains toluene... quite a high!!

  18. frank denton
    Thumb Up

    Try Pritt-Stick

    If you sniff at a Pritt-Stick for long enough, interesting things start to happen. Go on, try it.

  19. Chris Fleming

    Chris, expat KIWI in Samoa

    Stir fry... just turned on my soldering iron.

    All the best to you and yours Simon.

  20. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    @Try Pritt-Stick

    "If you sniff at a Pritt-Stick for long enough, interesting things start to happen. Go on, try it."

    Yes... the men in white coats give you a nice new jacket.

  21. Oscar

    RE: The real moral to the story

    I'm assuming this makes us Brits better programmers then ...? ;)

  22. Anonymous Coward

    That's more like it.

    That's more like it - after last week I thought you had forgotten how much we ALL hate SOPPY quizzes. We Want BOFH, not a Quiz! I found it quite ironic the way you turned off commenting. To avoid flaming, perhaps?

    Much better episode this week, and shame, they turn off the heating over christmas ;)

  23. Bob H

    Mild solvent abuse

    Mmmm, RS Solvent Cleaner... like Cointreau in a can...

    I miss the solvent abuse of a previous company...

  24. Joseph Helenihi

    White Out Excuses

    Tippex, White Out, Erazex or Pritt-Stick, there is nothing like the look on a cow-orker's face when they have wandered over to you and asked why some process or procedure was not followed and you reach for the bottle with the brush. After opening it and pretending to inhale deeply from within, say something like, "not sure, what *should* have been done again?"

  25. Anonymous Coward

    White out

    Well, over here, "Liquid Paper" is the generic household name for correction fluid, although in general Tipp-Ex is also widely available (both generally ship with a bottle of thinner - in case they ever hardens). Or you could get them in pen form.

    They fell out of general use recently as someone correction tape is becoming cheaper and more widely available.

    Anyways, looks like the field is set for the second annual BOFH vs. PFY post-Christmas battle. It'll be interesting to see how the story arc unrolls and resolves itself this time around.

  26. Tuomo Stauffer

    Now I remember

    Now I remember being in UK over Christmas / New Year time. Best humor in world, the meanest operators, sorry, BOFS's and PFY's in the world but fun. Just avoid the elevators, keep out of the computer room and especially any locked area, etc and you are safe but they really are fun in bub, actually better stories than in the Register. Happy new year, I have to go, my operator is calling that I have to check the backup tapes in the vault because I have to go in and sign them! See you in party?

  27. Paul


    Why Pick On Leeds Its a great place Chavs aside...

  28. Berny Stapleton


    That's like asking "What's wrong with Slough?" isn't it?

  29. Peter Kay


    No, it isn't. The correct question is 'What's *right* with Slough?'

    At least there's /something/ right with Leeds.

    Barnsley, on the other hand...

  30. Michael

    @Peter Kay

    > At least there's /something/ right with Leeds.

    Only the M621 Westbound..... ;)

  31. John D Salt

    What's right with Slough?

    Oooh, ooh, please sir, I know the answer to this one!

    When I spent a one-week course in Slough given by the vendors of a market-leading stochastic discrete-event simulation product for telecomms whose name I shall forbear to mention, I had the opportunity, unmatched in my experience, of taking lunch in a pub wherein stood a life-sized figurine of a man made ENTIRELY OF SPOONS.

    I doubt anyone could say the same of any other town in the kingdom.

    All the best,


  32. David S

    Betjeman had the right idea

  33. Anonymous Coward


    Very nice, david s.

    But where is This Week's Episode?!

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