back to article Israeli eggheads in pinhead bible publishing breakthrough

Israeli scientists yesterday announced a major breakthrough in the important research field of minuscule religious book publishing, revealing that they had printed a complete Old Testament on a half-millimetre silicon chip. "This is the world's tiniest Bible," said Ohad Zohar, of the Technion institute, quoted by AFP. The 308, …

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  1. Dunstan Vavasour
    Coat

    And before anybody asks "Why?" ...

    ... because they can.

  2. Senor Beavis
    Boffin

    In other news...

    ...boffins are spending vast quantities of time, effort and cash to develop a space-age new substance which allows light rays to pass through a solid wall allowing people to see what lies beyond the wall.

  3. Alan Gregson
    Paris Hilton

    Title

    "This will permit people "to read the entire Bible with the naked eye," he told AFP."

    I have a bible that's it's possible to read with the naked eye. Someone had better tell these Israeli geeks that they've been printing them since the 15th Century.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Eye of the Needle

    I was wondering when the "eye" of a needle was invented. I known nothing about the subject of weaving, but putting a hole (eye) in a needle has to be a really good trick, especially at the quoted time period (and Jesus said ...) of over 2000 years ago.

  5. Ian Osborne

    "they've been printing them since the 15th Century"

    ...and writing them since the Fourth.

  6. Laurent_Z

    @Michael Branagan

    Relics where found from the whooly mammoth and giant bear period.

    "Eye" of the needle where a hole burned or punctured through a bone splinter, allowing the sewing of fur pelts using....animal nerves as threads.

    So, depending on your personnal flavor of timeline, anywhere from 6000 to 250000 years ago 8)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    not the original text?

    i thought the original text was that it was easier for a camel to PASS through the eye of a needle, with all the eye-watering sphincter-straining that that that would entail.

    I'll fetch Mr.Nazereth's coat.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I prefer the alternative:

    "It is easier to pass a needle through the eye of a camel than for..."

    Which, come to think of it, would still be fairly difficult.

  9. Edward Rose

    Delicious

    What a brilliant choice for demonstrating the advancements of science, especially in the field of Semiconductor fabrication for making devices which 'perform miracles'.

    I wonder if it is blasphemous? Lets stone them anyway. Are there any ladies here?

  10. James Anderson
    Paris Hilton

    First eye in needle

    @Michael Branagan

    Its genuine Old Stone Age tech.

    Oldest is about 17,000 years old and made of bone.

    It was the latest high tech in Silicate valley.

  11. Matt

    Poor camel

    @ David W

    Brilliant! Haven't laughed so much since, well probably the last BOFH.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "animal nerves as threads"

    Animal sinew (tendons, or fibres derived from same), surely. Nerves aren't structural, or easy to dissect.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Splendid!

    The new Darwinism; as these geeks spend so much time in they lab they sure won't be doing the horizontal mambo, which means this will hopefully be the last foray into completely pointless exercises like this.

    Get out more guys, drink some, have larf,....

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Camels, Needles and the rich

    Jesus meant exactly what was said. Rich people do not get into heaven. Smarm and worm it how you like, but there is no evidence he meant anything other than what he is supposed to have said : ) No allegory, you, rich boy, are going to hell. Have fun !

    If anyone wants to point me in the direction of some factoid that purports to show that there were two gates into some city, and the camels went through one called the needle or some such crap ! Let me just say, HA ! and Bollocks ! This was a very popular excuse in certain Private schools, which just goes to show that theres an echo chamber in everyones life.

    No hat or coat required !

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Michael Branagan

    Add many thousands years on that bud, what you think that needles were not used in the stone age ? Au contraire.

    More importantly is when scissors where invented. Now that is a clever idea. Along with the bow.

  16. P. Lee

    Eye of a Needle

    ... I think was a particularly small gate into the city, meant for people rather than camels.

    It would make more sense. Why involve a camel when the rich man himself would come to rather a sticky end getting through the eye of a literal needle?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Spoiler alert !!!

    err..you guys do actually know the "eye of the needle" probably refers to a gate into old Jerusalem and not an actual needle.

  18. frank denton

    Camel - eye of needle - can be done

    I remember reading about a wealthy American man who kept a camel and had a giant sculpture of a needle on his lawn. Every now and then he would ride the camel through the eye of the needle (just to 'show em' I suppose). I assume that the needle was laying along the ground to make it easier for the camel.

    This is the sort of thing you can do for fun if you're rich. There is no documented evidence of him entering the kingdom of God though.

  19. Mark

    Camel

    I remember hearing that "Camel" may have been a mistranslation and it was very similar to a word that meant " massive rope" (like we have "hawser" for a rope thick enough to moor ships).

  20. Dan Collett
    Coat

    @ All those who are asking about the needle.....

    Go look it up on wikipedia :-)

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Forget a Camel

    ...how hard is it to pass a Marlboro through the eye of a needle? Or maybe a Pall Mall?

    You know what they say - I'd walk a mile for a Camel, but I'd prefer a woman.

  22. Snert Lee

    Alternate Needles

    Perhaps such as the Space Needle in Seattle.

  23. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    Its to convert

    those heathen bacteria...

    "and the lord said unto the ameoba "Take one of every bacterium and let them split into 2...""

  24. J
    Joke

    7 x 7?

    Not only people have been reading it with the naked eye for long, they have also come up with formats much more practical than 7 x 7 m posters! (try to read THAT in the tube) You know, they cut in little pieces, bind them together... Marvel of tech, can fit in a pocket! Now, what was the name again... Ah, it was Bundle Of Ocularizable Knowledge, or some acronym thereof.

  25. Graham Marsden
    Happy

    @Dan Collett

    Alternatively, instead of looking on Wikipedia, watch QI because they debunked the "Narrow Gate" and "Camels Rope" myths a few weeks ago.

  26. Andy Worth

    Why?

    Well you see, I understand that they print the bible on a chip "because they can", but why then print it onto a 7m by 7m poster? Doesn't that really defeat the object?

    In my opinion, it could only be akin to removing your cock from your trousers and slapping it in everyones face who passes by.

  27. Michael Hoffmann
    Coat

    No rooms for the angels?

    Where are those angels supposed to dance now, if they converted the needle? Wouldn't that be somewhat blasphemous for them to boogie down on holy scripture?

    Coat, check, halo, check, wings, check...

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Crazy spending

    I love how religious types throughout the ages try to please their benevolent God(s) with their good works. And when they have large piles of cash at their disposal they choose to spend it helping their fellow man by making tiny Bibles or shiny objects that look nice on their robes...

    He helps those who helps themselves. Plus, it's more fun to do this!

    Anon, cos I don't want to piss off any fickle and religiously zealous future would-be employers...

  29. Anonymous John
    Joke

    It's a mis-transation

    "it'is easier for a rich man to enter a camel than it is for him to pass heaven through the eye of a needle"

    "it's easier for a rich man to enter a camel if he stands on a box."

    "it'is easier for a rich man to enter a camel than it is for a poor man to poke himself in the eye with a needle”.

    Or something like that.

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