F**kwits r us ?
Maybe the 999 service can set up a parallel service, like a conference call facility. When these muppets call up just say "One moment, please, I'll transfer you to the right department" <click>.
You could probably make the service self-funding if you had a webfeed into the audio, so people could click on different lines to hear the conversation ...
Caller 1 "Yes I'm looking for the PMs phone number"
Caller 2 "No, it's *homebase* i'm looking for"
Caller 1 "What's he doing in homebase"
Caller 2 "No, I'm not in homebase"
Caller 1 "Well where is he then ?"
Caller 2 "I think I drove past it"
Caller 1 "You've driven past the PM. Couldn't you stop ?"
Caller 2 "No, it was a dual carriageway"
CAller 1 "What was the PM doing on a dual carriageway ?"
Caller 2 "No, it was the morning."
Caller 1 "Yes, this morning, I wanted to congratulate the PM"
and for the very anal :
CAller 3 : "Is Vic there ?"