BBC pinches hot new columnist from Microsoft Bill Gates has used his own column at the BBC to unlock the secrets of how you too can become an unimaginably wealthy nerd whose sperm is craved by Chinese women. You can read the full recipe here. It's insightful stuff, as the Microsoft chairman - who's being put out to stud next year - spreads his nuggets of wisdom before us …
They've obviously got some kind of space-warping / wormhole device that they're keeping secret to use for commercial advantage.
The evidence that there's a revolving door somewhere in the BBC offices that you can walk through to Redmond is getting too strong to ignore.
His Billness says: "Software innovation, like almost every other kind of innovation, requires the ability to collaborate and share ideas with other people, and to sit down and talk with customers and get their feedback and understand their needs."
If only Microsoft would demonstrate any understanding of this. As I saw on a screensaver featuring a joke BSOD, the error address was: F0AD42696C6C
Where's the innovation then? they love to talk about it but all of the products are not unique and innovative.
Windows wasn't the first OS.
Word wasn't the first word processor.
Zune came out about 5-6 years after everyone else was doing mp3 players.
XBox arrived in 2002, only about 23 years after the games consoles launched.
SQL Server wasn't the first database.
Analysis Services was the result of a buyout so it doesn't count.
When exactly has Microsoft or Bill Gates every been able to collaborate without stabbing in the back some poor business in the end?
A for the BBC, I agree with the revolving door comment, it's getting to the point where they might as well change the damn name to MBC (but that's taken)
@ All talk by Giles Jones... so true m8
Windows -- Nope - I used to load BASIC by tape cassette, >ld bas [return]
Word -- Nope, I had to translate from WordPerfect when word came out
Zune -- na - still use winamp... always will
XBox -- still hanker after true consoles - spectrum, amiga... etc
SQL Server -- I started out as a cobol programmer and advanced to using dBase3
Bill has overlooked the two most significant things to evolve from the great M$ push... adverts for breast augmentations and penis extensions.
I chose the IT? icon because... well - M$ isn't exactly "technological" is it?
The old MIC being of course the old (but still good) military/industrial complex.
Both old and nu MICs are hegemonic. Both involve Big Government and BIg Business locked in a permanent mutual symbiotic embrace like Behemoth and Leviathon simulating the beast of the Apocalypse with two backs. Both require that you feed them every day with your taxes. Neither is benign.
Everyone still in love with the BBC?
This is about your company using Share Point and Office 2008 on Windows Vista with Windows 2008 Server Edition running Exchange 2008 and allowing you to collaborate with another company who, sensibly, is also using Share Point and Office 2008...
This is NOT about collaborating between Notes, Office and KOffice (nor, even, really about collaberation between Office 2008 and Office 98 that had everything that the commercial world wanted in an Office suite) and that is where you misread it.
'course MS hope everyone else will misread it too and figure "well, MS have tried to prodice OOXML, it took 6000 pages, so it MUST be good and they have said here in black and white that they want open collaberation. So when they call ODF in a heap, they must have something valid..."
Good grief! He even has his own *column* now. The MSBBC has obviously given up even *pretending* that they're impartial; they might as well make the "MSBBC" name official.
As for Pearly's "illuminating" little speech, I found Mr. T's version rather less condescending by comparison. Pearly has a real talent for stating the obvious, and taking far to long to say absolutely nothing.
Executive summary:
. Almost everyone works with computers
. Almost everyone works with computers (rephrased)
. Gives examples of who "everyone" is
. You need computer skills to succeed
. You need computer skills to succeed (rephrased)
. Oh, and maths and science ("and"? ... maths *is* a science)
. The most interesting things come from science
. There are many job opportunities in software
. Software engineering is not a solitary endeavour
. To write software you need specifications
. To learn, you should read lots of books
. But getting information from the Internet is easier
. Having curiosity helps you succeed
So the executive executive summary is:
Almost everyone (e.g. store clerks) works with computers, therefore you need science skills to succeed. Science produces interesting things and many jobs, including software engineers who need to work in a team, and acquire specifications to do their jobs properly. If you have curiosity to learn these skills by reading books and browsing the Web, then maybe you will succeed. Nobody expects success. Your chief weapons to succeed are science skills and curiosity ... and fear. You have *three* weapons to succeed - science skills, curiosity, fear and surprise. Amongst your weaponry are such diverse elements as: science skills, curiosity, fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope and a nice red uniform.
Executive executive executive summary:
. You need science skills and curiosity to succeed.
He forgot some important ones, like:
. Water is wet
. The Pope is Catholic
. Never stick your fingers into a live electrical socket
. The capitol of Nebraska is Lincoln [*]
[*] Couldn't resist the old "Kentucky Fried Movie" quip.
"Your chief weapons to succeed are science skills and curiosity ... and fear. You have *three* weapons to succeed - science skills, curiosity, fear and surprise. Amongst your weaponry are such diverse elements as: science skills, curiosity, fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope and a nice red uniform."
I just wet myself at that. Really wasn't expecting it. Now then, where shall I hang this nice red coat?
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