back to article Knickerless celebutards: the secure data centre connection

The champagne corks are popping this morning down at Vulture Central because, after years of trying, we've finally found a rock-solid link between IT and knickerless celebutards: View of data centre showing pair of knickers on floor For the record, the panties in question were spotted by a reader in a well-known London data …


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  1. Daniel Bennett

    Their system

    Their system must be pants...

  2. Rob Crawford

    Another question is

    how did your operative get in carrying a camera.

    Any sites I have worked in has been, no mp3 players, mobile phones, cameras, CDs or USB devices

  3. frank denton
    Paris Hilton


    I know IT's important but I'm sure you bulked it up after the palm scanners.

    I'm not even sure about the palm scanners. Too much Christmas spirit too early Lester?

  4. Patrick

    Looks like ...

    ... a lot of cloth for a pair of knickers the celebutards are wearing (presumably, since I've never met them, neither the celebutards, nor the knickers...)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Impressive Security

    Obviously not in Kings Cross, then again, perhaps she was a stripper dressed as a copper.

  6. The Other Steve

    @frank denton

    You should ask Santa for a betters sense of humour.

  7. Dam


    Microsoft's Santa ?

    He had too much of it for his own good, my, what with him offering oral...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters


    Why is the close-up rotated from the main picture?

    We should know - is there some conspiracy here?

    Where does the photo come from?

    Freedom of Information now! Set the information free!

    Free the Knickers!

    Don't let them go back to Ms Hilton - she'll just get gold paint on them!

  9. Chris Collins


    My mum used to retain worn out undergarments as dusters. Perhaps some environmentally conscious techie has done the same. Or perhaps it's the aroma that reminds him of good times on those lonely late shifts.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    palm scanners are no joke, biometric security is in appearance at lots of data centres around London.

  11. Tom

    big knickers

    Those are some large knickers, maybe a Data Centre Engineer grabbed some of his wife's grandma pants (or even his grandmas) to give the servers a good dusting.

    The logic is sound though, soft cotton is a good cleaning fabric.

  12. GT
    Paris Hilton

    What size knickers

    I'd like to know before you reveal how to apply for a job at said data centre. I thought most data centres suffered from cooling problems ... is this a suitable environment for this kind of behaviour?

  13. Neil Hoskins

    Rational Explanation

    Sorry to be a party pooper, but as a wannabe geek who actually managed to pull off the feat of having some knowledge of persons of the female gender... nay... actually *married* one... this is easily explained. During "the wash", ladies' undergarments frequently end up getting inside trouser legs, and are not always immediately apparent until later in the day, when they either fall loose, or are surreptitiously shaken loose, whilst looking straight ahead hoping nobody notices.

  14. sub1ime_uk
    Paris Hilton

    Re: What size knickers

    Hmmm... well if that there's a 19" rack then the floor tiles are probably the 60cm square ones. The knickers look to be a 'bout a quarter or so across one of them and so are roughly 30cm in circumference which is about 12" but then you have to allow for elastic expansion so add on about the same again and you'd get a size 6 I'd say. Pretty small I think.

  15. Dave Aitken

    irrational rational explanation

    Oh yeah, right! Surreptitiously shake the granny pants out of trouser leg WHILST STOOD IN SERVER ROOM.

    As for the cleaning cloth theory: the newer the pants the better; old pants generate too much lint.

    The real explanation is clearly extra-terrestrial

  16. Ron Eve

    I don't think so...

    @Neil Hoskins - I've never yet met a women who allows her underwear to be washed with 'trousers' or any other outer wear. They usually wash them separate, or with other frillies, so they don't go grey (errr.. or so I'm told...).

    Unless, of course, you were wearing them...

    More to the point, I think we need to find out who the 'intruder' was and how they got in. Was it a 'rear entry'? Maybe a packet sniffer would help.


    Secure exit

  17. JeffyPooh

    "...what level of threat did the penetration pose to national security..."


    Coat/Door and quickly...

  18. Risky


    "......miniature helicopter gunship packing intruder-frying microwave weaponry."

    So the intruder was all tin-foil hat and no knickers?

    /+coat -smalls

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Wait a second...

    ... we're talking about nerds and geeks here! Just because they're pink, you assume they're a woman's knickers (and even if they are a woman's, where does a nerd get a woman from to have worn them)? More likely they're the nerd/geek's own, or stolen from somewhere when 'she' wasn't looking. Tut tut.

  20. Anonymous Coward

    "...what level of threat did the penetration pose to national security..."

    a virus infection called 'Chlamydia'

  21. Anonymous Coward

    @Rob C

    Most of the commercial London DCs I've been in have SIGNS saying no cameras, mobile phones etc. I have yet to be in one where they even mention the rule, let alone attempt to enforce it. Particularly the one about mobile phones! Although in a lot of them the cages themselves create enough of a Faraday effect to render mobiles mostly useless in most of the building anyway.

  22. Anonymous Coward

    big knickers

    Reminds me of the Larry The Cable Guy sequence where he was talking about edible underwear, and how the pair he was eating was large enough to fill him up. He's a big guy...

  23. Geoff

    Brings new meaning to the words...

    ..."Rack Mount".

  24. Mike


    One of Sheriff Arpaio's ex inmates.


  25. Dalen
    Thumb Up


    A perfect combination of IT and Paris Hilton angles.

  26. Stratman
    Thumb Down

    Palm scanners?

    Just what were they expecting to find?


  27. Anonymous from Mars

    If only...

    "a virus infection called 'Chlamydia'"

    If only chlamydia was, you know, a virus.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    wrong culprits named ?

    Unlikely to have been LiLo, Paris, et al - from all reports, they leave em at home anyway, so wouldnt have had a pair to lose.......?

  29. Anonymous Coward

    Security my arse

    I once became lost in a large data center near a train station in London. I spent about 1 hour wandering around looking in rooms trying to find my collegues. In my bag there 2 phones, a camera, an ipaq, (no ipods then)a ibm 240x, and a flip disk (great device) plus lots of leads and screwdriversn stuff. When I entererd the building one rent a cop was out side smoking, one was reading )?) the daily sport and buzzed me in with out looking up i never signed in, and never met anyone other then a cleaner. I eventually found my rack space and my unix loving chums playing age of empires on the floor.

    arent there often webcams in the room?

    perhaps they came from a female................................ Has anyone seen one in a data centre? My point is im sure its possible to loose your self for so long in those crazy places that you made need to discard underware.................

  30. tony trolle


    anyone remember the vibrations of a eds80, I know of one lucky girl who got a little wet 'testing' for them........

  31. TeeCee Gold badge


    They're now building computers so sexy that they can snap knicker elastic at range.

    Upgrade time!

  32. Daniel

    not boasting but ....

    ... shouldln't it be "19 inch rack mount"?

    don't call a taxi for me. there are plenty driving past this time of day.

  33. amlendu
    Paris Hilton

    Cleaners maybe

    It may be from the cleaners. May have been the cause of too much static so decided to get rid of the silky stuff.

  34. Nordrick Framelhammer

    It can't be...

    any of the celebutards you mentioned. There is more cloth in that one pair than would be found in the entire knicker collection of all three combined.

    Not only that, but the area ofg cloth, measured in square meters is grater than the sum of three of their IQ's.

  35. alyn

    server names

    Someone probably named one of the servers knickers (I once named one pants).

    then said "knickers down" meaning the servers crashed. The poor girl misunderstood.

  36. Terrence Bayrock
    Paris Hilton

    Query about environmental conditions

    How many "Hiltons" was the server room at when the offending (sic) items were found?

    Clearly the size of the "item" in nanoWales could provide a clue....


    [much too much nog for breakfast today.....................I need to clear my mind]

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