back to article Paris Hilton cavorts naked in middle of desert

Those among you who've ever wanted to see a picture of a naked Paris Hilton sprawled out in the desert like a gold-plated strumpet are in luck, because here is that image: Paris Hilton naked, covered in gold paint and in the desert Yup, we know what you're thinking: why's the world's favourite heiress doing a Goldfinger in …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Lloyd

    If Paris is selling it

    can we assume that it has a salty aftertaste?

  2. Big Al
    IT Angle

    So where's...

    ...the IT angle?!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Where's the Paris Hilton angle?

    Oh, no, wait. Nevermind...

  4. andy rock

    it looks like...

    ...a can of Red Bull!

  5. Dan Collett
    Paris Hilton

    I just dont see...

    The Paris Hilton relevance of this!

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Who Cares

    yes, really, who the hell gives a shit what the jail wh0re does.

    unless of course she does something for charity, then at least some good will come out of it.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    @ Big Al

    IT angle? Who needs an IT angle with a picture like that???

  8. Rob
    Paris Hilton

    bigger pic please

    have you got a higher res version of that goldfinger pic so i can have my own personal paris on my desktop?

    -I'm sure i'm not the only one keen to have something larger.. (fnar)

  9. triky

    brilliant, ham in a can !

    oh wait, i thought that said prosciutto... dagnabit.

  10. TeeCee Gold badge


    <wine pedant>

    Er, Prosecco has been around for a long time in bottles and stands on its own merit (hic, pardon). It's never been one of the johnny-come-lately Champagne clones and is made from the Prosecco grape rather than the Pinot Noir, Pinot Meunier and Chardonnay used in Champagne and its copies (yeah, I had to look that latter up). Describing its not being called Champagne as an effort to avoid lawsuits from France is not only inaccurate but bloody ignorant as well.

    I'd expect this sort of thing from PH (who probably describes Irn Bru as alcohol free champagne), but not you guys.

    Having said all that, they deserve to be sued for putting it in tins.......

    </wine pedant>

  11. JR
    Thumb Down

    Goldfinger's Mistake

    Too bad you only die in Movies when covered in Golden Bodypaint...

  12. Slaine

    @ Big Al

    The whole point about this well-researched article is to provide us hard El-Reg students and contributers with a little well-deserved and welcome relaxation from decyphering all the rubbish that I type and, more importantly - from wondering when, how many records, about what, are about to be lost from which department next. So, in order to achieve this, the delightful Ms Hilton has chosen (JUST FOR US MIND) to pose seductively with a tin of something remotely alcoholic and leave us with a lingering subconscious message that she's about to pour it over herself and that she'd like us to lick IT off.

    (and THAT's the IT angle).

  13. Rob

    @brilliant, ham in a can

    that would be spam wouldn't it?

    I always rated that at the about the same culinary level as dog food.

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Nice one Lloyd

    lmfao @ that :D

  15. Tim Lane


    Champagne in a can? Classy. Paris Hilton? Classy.

  16. SoupDragon

    Shaken, not stirred

    They decided not to run with the advert where someone off camera shakes the tin hard & opens it close to her, as it would cause a huge reduction in water pressure as cold showers were turned on simultaneously in n million homes countrywide - apparently the energy companies can cope with this sort of surge (as it were), but not water companies.

  17. Sacha TF Padovani

    Where's the -proper- booze angle?

    I mean.. Prosecco IN A CAN?

    You don't need to be PH's army of barristers'n'slaves to predict a veritable outpouring of legal papers between the Prosecco-police over here in Northern Italy.. Try convincing the Valdobbiadene producers that THAT goldeny stuff is proper Prosecco.

    They'll sue The Hiltoness untile she's shirtless? then .....pantless? No, not that, damn....

    Can we have a booze-angle icon? Please?

  18. gareth

    RE: Brilliant ham in a can


    no spam is SP(anial and h)AM in a can

  19. sean

    @ Rob

    so Spam is why dogs lick their balls? To take the taste away? Ah, it's all making more sense now. Thanks for sharing ;)

  20. Paul F
    Paris Hilton

    How 'very.'

    I guess all the binge drinking bimbos will want to start doing Champagne Bongs ("sparkling wine bong" just doesn't scan, sorry frenchies*).

    Isn't there a facebook thing called "30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night” in which drunk girls in various states of shame and undress showcase themselves? I'm sure that crowd will love this stuff.

    *not really sorry at all

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Prosecco is lovely.

    Prosecco in a can is sacrilege. Burn her!

  22. chris

    Trade Description Act

    I've seen those boobs, as have most men courtesy of the interenet, they are the worlds smallest breasts ever.

    Someone, who should be ashamed of themselves, has used the morph tool in photoshop to give her a substantial pair of puppies.

    This advert therefore beaks the Trade Descriptions Act.

    Withdraw and grovel I say.

  23. laird cummings
    Paris Hilton

    Paris... Sparkling wine in a can..?!

    OK, Paris is a low-rent* strumpet, but fronting for wine in a can..? I bet her mother is weeping. At least *that* woman knows class, even if she has none herself.

    *Yes, low-rent. As in, she goes for the cheap.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down



    i dont think in the UK you can advertise alcohol beverages if they give the impression that they can make you more attractive to the opposite sex, so if her boobs are enhanced, does that mean drinking this gives you bigger boobs ?

    Does it also work for men?

    I mean it could have saved me a fortune I've spent years on pizza and vodka to get my man boobs where they are today.

    either way I want it banned, unless she poses with natural tits.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Booze angle

    prosecco & cuervo black popper

    what to call it?

  26. Matthew Smith

    re Goldfinger's Mistake

    "Too bad you only die in Movies when covered in Golden Bodypaint..."

    No.. actually you do. You have to leave an unpainted patch at the small of your back or you will actually die. Also, never look at the sun, even through the spotter scope or binoculars.

  27. Nick


    It may have been photoshopped, but I thought the (T) IT angle was clearly shown.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Plonk in a can?

    Finally, something that makes wine in a box look classy.

  29. Glenn Amspaugh


    Her torso to leg ratio is off (legs too short).

    They need to spray paint more women and provide more choice.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    Is there anything more classy than champagne in a can? Vodka muffins?

  31. Geoffrey Summerhayes


    Arrgh! Not this old chestnut again...

    2nd paragraph in origins section.

  32. JonRB

    Been done before

    This isn't the first time champagne has been sold in cans.

    Apparently Moet et Chandon used to sell their product in cans. And it used to be endorsed by none other than Daniel Day Lewis.

    But they ceased production as it wasn't popular enough.

    As a show of appreciation they gave the Last of the Moet Cans to Daniel Day Lewis.

    (I am so, so sorry)

  33. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    Move along

    Move along , no meat here to see !

  34. Anonymous Coward


    is that Sidcup I see in the distance?

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns



  36. Chris Braisby
    Paris Hilton


    It is a well known fact that PH has no known jubs

  37. Anonymous Coward

    Police! Police!

    Someone's stolen the poor girl's nips! Get them back, quick!

  38. Brett

    Paris Hilton Angle?

    Sorry but all I see is curves.

  39. Douglas Norton

    Babycham reborn..

    .. for chavs, of which P.H. is most certainly the prime example.

    So, will FireCrotch be pitching Cinzano in a tetrapak, with a straw.

  40. Les Matthew

    Am I the only person

    that doesn't find Paris Hilton attractive? ;)

  41. Anonymous Coward


    And what's wrong with small? In my experience small ones are much more sensitive than the standard XXXL Bulgarian variety.

    More importantly, is El Reg going to update the PH icon with a new thumbnail?

  42. Mike Taylor


    Glad I'm not the only one. She looks weird and runty. Well, her face does.

  43. Frank Bough


    "that doesn't find Paris Hilton attractive?"

    No. I've had worse, but I say that to my shame.

  44. Ferry Boat

    Now I know what NSFW stands for

    News Service For W*nkers.

    So, all the PH stories are prefixed with it. I can see clearly now the stain has gone.

  45. Colin Millar


    " Spam is why dogs lick their balls"

    No - as any fule kno

    Dogs lick their balls -

    - because they can

  46. Dave Aitken
    Dead Vulture

    Death valley? no - it's...

    Stevenage, Croydon, Milton Keynes, Cheltenham, Billericay.

    There used to be a F14 squadron in the US Navy called VFN-147 The Pukin Dogs - where's the pukin dog logo?

  47. steogede

    Cassis and strawberry?

    Surely it should be 'blackcurrant and strawberry'? or at a pinch 'cassis et fraise'? or even 'ribes nero e fragola'?

  48. John D Salt

    Does it work for men?

    Yer man A. Coward says:

    >i dont think in the UK you can advertise alcohol beverages if they give the

    > impression that they can make you more attractive to the opposite sex, so if her

    > boobs are enhanced, does that mean drinking this gives you bigger boobs ?

    > Does it also work for men?

    Yes, it does -- one of well-known effects of prolonged concumption of alcohol is to give men bigger boobs.

    HTH, HAND,


  49. Danny Thompson

    Her torso to leg ratio is off (legs too short).

    Yea, but they can spread very wide, which apparently is an advantage of having short legs.

    Okay, so I just made that last bit up

  50. Slaine
    Thumb Up


    just popped back to look at that picture again

This topic is closed for new posts.