back to article Brits declare Paris most pointless celeb

A poll of 4,000 discerning Brits has unsurprisingly voted Rwandan mercy-dash heroine "One Night In" Paris Hilton the planet's most pointless celebrity - pipping former Big Brother contestants Chantelle "Bulgarian Airbags" Houghton and Jade "Juicy Kebab" Goody into second and third spots, respectively. The next highest-ranking …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    She's omitted precisely for the reasons you give! She actually is (well, tries) to be multi-talented and therefore deserves to be a lot further down. Plus - since when was having giant boobs pointless????

  2. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    Most pointless celebrity...

    Isn't that like asking which jelly wobbles the most? Pointless indeed...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sad thing is

    I've heard of 50% of them :(

    I feel soiled now...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Where's the Paris Hilton angle?

    I'll leave my coat and run

  5. Ash


    Sky up, water wet, fire hot etc.

    This isn't news, it's common sense.

  6. Karl Lattimer
    Paris Hilton


    When you google images search most of the tarts it comes back with nuddy shots (I don't use safesearch by default)... I didn't actually know who any of them, apart from the obvious brits and paris were!

    For the record, it doesn't actually take talent to take your clothes off. Which explains the list

  7. Steve
    Thumb Down


    Surely when someone is *defined* by being a celebrity, they are inherently completely pointless anyway?

  8. Hans
    Paris Hilton

    Good for Paris

    Awwww, but isn't it just nice to see her actually win something for a change.

    mmmm feels so-o-o good.

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Jordan not on the list...

    ...because she has two "points" and is therefore not pointless...

  10. Andy
    Paris Hilton

    You make Paris cry

    Her majesty Queen Elizabeth II is not a patch on the lovely Miss Hilton.

    The voting must be rigged or else there would be chihuahuas in Buckingham instead of corgis.

  11. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Clearly a biased poll

    Simply because there's no sign of Jonathan Ross.

  12. Smallbrainfield
    Paris Hilton

    Without going too far with this,

    surely Heather Mills, who, pre-Macca was a committed fund raiser for various charities should be further down the list than a complete no mark like Jack Tweed?

    Some of the people on the list have actually achieved something, however minor. This list makes no sense.

    Mindless food-tubes like Hilton, Goody and Tweed are proper no marks and deserve to be at the top. Also, wherefore Calum Best?

  13. bluesxman

    RE: Oxymoron

    Actually it's not oxymoronic, since there is no contradiction. It's just that "pointless" is an unnecessary qualification of "celebrity".

    This message brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

  14. James

    Meaningless Poll

    "The survey... demonstrates that when it comes to meaningless celebrity, the UK punches far above its weight."

    Does it? This was a poll based in the UK. If the same question was asked in the US I'd expect there to be few if any UK entires on their list. They will have their own bunch on wasters who's 'fame' has not crossed the pond. If anything the fact that there are Americans on the list at all is embarrassing for them!

    I also find it odd that Johnny Vegas makes the list at all. It's not a name I would immediately think of when answering this question. Surely the 'researchers' didn't pre-list the candidates for people to choose from did they!?

  15. Anonymous Coward

    @Without going too far with this

    I do hope that Heather Mills will get over her current stage, possibly when the press lays off her, and get on with being pointful but for the moment I have to concur. She needs to wake up.

  16. P. Lee


    I'm sure there must be some irony in a list of comments about an article about poll about who is the most pointless...

    ah yes - I've there it is - right next to my post^H^H^H^Hcoat.

  17. Anonymous Coward


    You are quite correct, I meant to say "Tautological" and had a severe instance of brain fade, clearly brought on by an overdose of airheads.

    Just hold my hat for a moment, please...

  18. Stratman

    'Most' pointless......?

    Given that the list is presented in order of 'Pointlessness', the implication is that those celebritards further down the list have more 'point' than those nearer the top.

    What would that point be, as I can't think of one?

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Why Vegas

    Why Johnny Vegas? He's funny, in a beer belly kind of a way.

  20. Jason Togneri

    Somebody important is missing!

    Where's dear Lester Haines in this list?

  21. Anonymous Coward

    This is painful

    It is a lot like watching that old cable show on Comedy Central: "Strip Poker", where they'd take some Californitard off the beach and ask them to play poker -- inevitably to lose, both cards and clothing. Although they were admirable examples of the nearly nude form, they were so stupid they made peoples' teeth hurt, and the show went off the air.

    The real losers were the viewers -- I lost IQ points just by watching.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I demand an international poll!

    There is no doubt that each nation and its various subcultures have their top 10 list of painfully pointless personalities. Therefore, I think in all fairness, a new poll should be taken that includes clueless celebs from every nation and see who actually wins.

    Statistically speaking Ms. Hilton is a lock for first or second place, but, it would be amusing to see how folks rank from all countries.

  23. Richard Scratcher

    Almost 2:1 in favour of pointless females

    There must be some sort of "glass ceiling" that prevents men from becoming pointless celebs.

  24. Mr Larrington
    Dead Vulture

    Going /way/ too far with this

    Surely Heather Mills, who post-Macca has shown herself to be a fruitbat of the first order, should be up there with the likes of Jade Goody? The day I pay any attention to an asymmetric bint lecturing me about the calumny of eating meat from the dubious moral high ground that is a bloody great 4x4 is the day you prise the BACON sandwich from my cold dead hand.

    Thank you, I feel better now.

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Spice Boy

    Surely that 'Lady Boy' lookalike Victor Beckham should have been higher up the list???

  26. EvilOrange

    @ Spice Boy

    She was probably hiding behind a lamp post while the voting went on so people forgot about her...

    I'll get my robe and wizard hat...

  27. Austin Troxell

    "Talented heiress"???

    That's an example of Brit "humour," right?


  28. Slaine
    Paris Hilton

    who is jack tweed?

    ...and surely, the fact that some peeps might actually want to sh4g Ms H has to place her below the likes of Jane Goody

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