back to article Paris and Britney top US kids' Santa naughty list

US kids have delightfully voted exceptionally-talented heiress Paris Hilton, along with wobbly popstress Britney "Oops I forgot my knickers again" Spears, as heading Santa's Xmas "naughty list", thereby ensuring that neither of them will receive much-needed underwear or self-administered breath-test kits in their Christmas …

COMMENTS

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    11. Failing to have a suitable Paris Hilton angle :-P

    Fucking awesome! Good work guys!

  2. Steve Browne

    I prayed for a bike ....

    ... but they said it didnt work like that, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

  3. Les Matthew
    Coat

    There is no way

    that I'd ever want Santa discharging his sack in my bedroom.

  4. mark carlisle
    Paris Hilton

    two points...

    12. managing to put as many innuendos into one santa related article aka 'santas discharging sack' but top marks to 'fingering britney'

    13. slapping the person who manages to come up with point 99..

  5. Icey
    Thumb Up

    Number 12

    Saying "wheres the IT Angle?" anywhere on the Reg!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    Number 14 (or is it 15 now?)

    Being Bill Gates...

    <form method="get" action="coat">

    <input type="submit" value="I can't believe I'm sad enough to do this properly...">

    </form>

  7. Anonymous John

    Why isn't

    Amy Whinehouse on the list?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Forget Santa

    I got presents for em. The wages of sin is death ,but after taxes it's just a tired feeling.

  9. b shubin
    Pirate

    Add another

    loudly pontificating about one's strong moral values (and running a socially conservative political campaign), though one has the character of a starving New York city rat, the compassion of a snapper turtle, the power drive of Genghis Khan, and the political philosophy that would cause Benito Mussolini to shrug knowingly and say "Well, of course his name is Rudolph Giuliani, best of both worlds, no?"

    http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/2007-11-28-giuliani-bills_N.htm

    someone is due a lump of coal, but we need it to power the electric grid, so maybe we should just convert him to biodiesel instead?

  10. Fozzy
    Paris Hilton

    thank $Diety$

    I thought I was the only sick preverted and twisted individual who did a double take on this line

    "Regarding just how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom, the young"

    Particularly as I thought of Spears or hilton as being dressed (or down) as Saint knickerless

  11. Steven Knox
    Pirate

    Number 0

    Reg hacks who don't allow comments on their pages -- c'mon look at all the fun you're missing, Andy!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Too much

    Too...many...double....entendres...need....to...lie...down. Far....too....many....scary...images....in...head....

  13. Graham Jordan

    Santa discharging his sack

    I think I'd sooner have a lump of coal that fat bearded pie eating slave drivers Semen sprayed around my bedroom.

  14. John Imrie
    Black Helicopters

    Sharing

    These children are being encouraged to share by this 'Father' Christmas.

    Does the RIAA know about this.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    You utter, utter bastards

    Cosying up to the punters again eh Lester? ;-)

  16. Chris Morrison
    Paris Hilton

    Genius

    "how to impress Santa into discharging his sack in your bedroom"

    Literary Genius!

    This article would have been so much better with pictures (of Paris and Britney, not of santa discharing his sack please!)

    Chris

  17. Risky

    Sack of coal for you

    Ah yet, I must put up some more Britney specials on fleabay. "Buy Britney's underwear as worn for night out ....etc". All I need is a few empty envelopes.

  18. Dave
    Coat

    Footie-free Summer

    Since when was failing to qualify for Euro 2008 a bad thing? Now people will be able to go and do useful things next summer and the BBC won't feel compelled to spend licence-payers' money on covering the event.

  19. 3x2

    @Dave

    Since when was failing to qualify for Euro 2008 a bad thing?

    May you receive the full content of Santa's sack !

  20. Lee
    IT Angle

    @Number 12

    "oh no, you said IT..."

    "shit, now I said IT..."

    "I said IT again..."

    "I can't stop saying IT!..."

    thanks, mine's the one hanging on the shrubbery...

  21. Hogfather
    Alert

    HELLO SMALL CHILD

    HO HO HO. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS INSIGNIFICANT BEING?

    HO HO HO.

  22. Nathanael Bastone
    Thumb Up

    @Les Matthew

    well said!

  23. Sam Therapy
    Jobs Horns

    @Dave

    What makes you think the Beeb and/or ITV haven't already spent the money on broadcasting rights? I bet they're crapping their pants now.

  24. EvilDwarf

    Santa I've been a very good boy this year...

    And I'd like a drunken knickerless strumpet in my stocking, please

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Santa discharging sack

    Lester, absolutely brilliant, I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

  26. Slaine

    LMAO EvilDwarf

    40 (ish): Accepting illegal bribes, oops - sorry - DONATIONS from undisclosed sources.

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