back to article Tesco in X-rated Lawnmower Simulator shocker

We think someone is having a laugh down at Tesco, where aficionados of hot grass action can apparently get the X-rated Wii version of Lawnmower Simulator 2007: Lawnmower Simulator 2007 as seen on Tesco website, rated 18+ Well, as the old joke goes, if it's got grass on it, you've got to mow it. For the uninitiated, the …


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  1. Jason Togneri
    Thumb Up

    One way to tell for sure

    Try buying it and see what you get!

  2. Mike Iwan Phillips

    Virgin too!

    It's available from Virgin too!

  3. Paul


    I particularly like the language options: "Language: English (Scouse)"

  4. Matt

    Not just Tesco

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I hope it's better than the (infamous) Spectrum original:

    Also, I see that on the Tesco website the language is listed as: 'English (Scouse)'. Maybe that's why it has an 18+ rating?

    After all, we wouldn't want our kiddies coming out with stuff like "Dey don't do dat down der doe do dey doe?" !

  6. Adam Foxton

    I'm surprised there've been no...

    Groundskeeper Willie jokes yet.

    <gets coat>

  7. Alan Davies
    Thumb Down


    A game worthy of purchasing a PS3 for.

  8. tim wright

    More a case of

    Lady Chatterley's Hover...

    ....collects gardening overalls from inside of shed....

  9. Joe Stalin

    Groundskeeper Willie

    From the Simpsons episode where the kids get snowed in at school Groudskeeper Willie rebels against Skinner with the line "Last the last time you slap your Willie around".

  10. Anonymous Coward

    Woolies too!

    It was also available from (the Google cache of) Woolworths too:

  11. Thomas Vestergaard

    Hardcore violence?

    "Dispatch them by spraying grass cuttings at them before they make divots with slide tackles or, if close enough, *mow them down*!"

    Although, mowing down footballers can't be all that gory in a Wii...

  12. Chris Bradshaw

    Virgin isn't 18+ restricted

    It's never as much fun playing with a Virgin one...

    Just look at the time...

  13. Neil

    I think the line

    "Dispatch them by spraying grass cuttings at them before they make divots with slide tackles or, if close enough, mow them down!" may explain the certificate.

    Imagine the splatter from being sucked into a ride-on mower.

  14. Horridbloke


    Anyone else remember the Commodore 64 classic "Hover Bovver", in which you stole your various neighbours' flymos and trimmed the lawn with them while setting your dog on the irate owner?


  15. Anonymous John

    'English (Scouse)'.

    Stolen lawnmower then.

  16. David S

    A classic...

  17. Dave Thompson


    Yes, yes I remember Hovver Bovver, with those fantastic renderings of your neighbours houses - and wasn't the dog on it called Rover...?

  18. Brett Brennan

    Practice for the USLMRA 2008 Sta-Bil cup series?

    Hey, this IS a lawn mower simulator, right? Then you can use it for practice runs during the snowy season for the up-coming 2008 Sta-Bil Cup at the United States Lawn Mower Racing Association! or

    (Of course there's an official XBox game for this too...see the web site above...)

    (I WISH I could make this kind of stuff up...)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Crap, in a funky skill-o sort of way

    It's nice to see that the legacy of Your Sinclair still permeates British society. I remember the original - was it Professional Lawnmower Simulator, or Advanced Lawnmower Simulator? There was a single key, "M", and periodically your mower hit a stone and conked out. But you could choose several different lawnmowers, all the same. It was a metaphor. For something.

    I choose Paris Hilton as my avatar. I would like to hold her hand (very tightly).

  20. Horridbloke

    @Dave Thompson

    I think you're right about Rover. Remember the internal dialogue representing the three lives of the game:

    "Jim won't mind if I borrow his mower."

    "I'll just nip and borrow tom's..."

    "Good old Alf... He's a decent chap."

    Plus "Go on boy! Kill!" and "ARGH! Lay off me you beastly hound!"

    (How long before someone fires up an emulator and corrects these quotes?) This is why the Commodore 64 scene was so much cooler than the purgatory of Spectrum ownership.

    As this is an IT site shouldn't we have a nostalgia icon? Perhaps Mr T or Adam Ant?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture


    A fair time ago I went with a mate into town to buy a nice shiny new copy of Final Fantasy VIII and the unhelpful git at woolies refused to sell it to us as he insisted it was an 18+ title. Nevermind the total lack of rating on the cover, just flat out refused.

    So how is it news that some monkey keyed in the wrong data on whatever system they're using? Happens all zi time!

  22. Fred


    whats the world coming too?....

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Other Simulators?

    Could this be the first in a string of simulators for other seemingly mundune activities...?

    Laying Carpet, Cleaning the Pool...

  24. Steve P

    @Horridbloke, @Dave Thompson

    Jeff Minter has a Hovver Bovver for PC - there's a demo, so you can get your nostalgia fix for free. :)

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    sounds like a Scott special?

    Reminds me of something one of my mates wrote many years ago...

  26. Mr Larrington

    Final Fantasy VIII????

    Seems that Final Fantasys 1 through 7 weren't actually all that final after all, eh?

    And to think people blame video games for the Shocking Decline in Standards of Literacy, Numeracy and the ability to kick a ball...

  27. Alex
    Paris Hilton


    OMG!! Whislting Rick Wilson!!

    LOL! Have still got that tape somewhere in the loft!

    "Hold my hand very tightly, very tightly, very tightly! Hold my hand very tightly, ooooh-ooh-ooooooohoooh!"

    Classic "hit"

    Run Paris, Run!

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    re: Groundskeeper Willie

    I liked the one from a Haloween episode, Groundskeeper Willie has stuck a note next to the school thermostat..

    "Do not touch. Willie."

    Homer reads this out aloud (sans punctuation) and declares it "Good advice."

  29. Max Vernon

    call me stupid, but "what???"

    This must be one of those insider-type dry english humour funnies. Could someone please explain it a bit for us chumps across the pond?

  30. Mike Hocker


    Hit a stone? Ouchie! no wonder the mower stops... well, if it's one of your own stones anyway...

  31. Steve
    Paris Hilton

    I knew that title was familiar

    Richard and David Darling, or the little darlings as Amstrad Action labeled them, are to blame.

    This lifted from Wikipedia...

    "They were famous for releasing a long series of games called "Advanced Something Simulator" or "Professional Something Simulator". This led to the parody "Advanced Lawnmower Simulator" being developed, praised to the skies and then published by Your Sinclair magazine as an April Fool's Day stunt."

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