back to article BOFH: Spreading the festive cheer

"Ahhhhhh," I sigh cheerfully. "Smell that?" "You mean the whiff of cardboard, seasonal green and red ink and just a hint of glitter?" the PFY responds. "MMmmmm," I mumble. "Well, it's Christmas season again, isn't it?" the PFY concurs. "No... It's Christmas CARD season again," I say. "For the next three weeks we can …

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  1. Steven Hewittt
    Thumb Up

    How very true

    One of the best BOFH's in ages. Loved this:

    "Probably. Instead of sending the Christmas contraband to the people who've done the design, specification, evaluation, and acceptance of vendors proposals, they'll give the cakes, booze, toys, and trinkets to some person in middle management whose sole contribution has been to add a signature to a piece of paper that they didn't understand."

    Does it get any more accurate that this? :-D

  2. Nick
    Thumb Up

    Ahhh

    That's the BOFH I know.

    I'm making a few notes for Christmas this year..

  3. Simon Robinson
    Thumb Up

    BOFH on form as ever

    Laxatives, redirecting Christmas gifts, collapsing chairs AND stuck lifts - tis the season!

  4. Datura

    Brilliant

    This is by far one of the best episodes ever. It is going to probably get me into a lot of trouble this season.

    Great job!!!!!

  5. Lee

    foldy tripod chairs

    I always worry about my vital parts when i sit on these. And now, obviously, it seems i have good reason to be worried. Brilliance!

  6. Rosuav
    Thumb Up

    Never trust geeks bearing Gateau

    Actually, just never trust BOFHs. You never know what he's doing to you, except that if you're an idiot, it will hurt. :)

  7. Stuart johnson
    Flame

    We could learn a lot...

    Evidently the BOFH is following the trend of an early christmas start...perhaps more time to plan the downfalls...still the PFY seems to be suprisingly green after last year's episode!

  8. Michael Born
    Thumb Up

    And the Xmas cheer keeps on comming...

    Yep, confirms my suspicion that Simon is still on stop of his game!

    I have to say that as far as vendors go, this is about the most truthful description you can get, and bearing in mind that the people at the "coal-face" who DO the work never get the appreciation they richly deserve...

    Now then, where is that stack of "re-usable" card and tippix?

    Only kidding, NEVER send out a "used" card, it sets a bad precedent!

    Have a great weekend people!!

    And remember, "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy EVERY minute of it!!!"

  9. Michael Sheils

    Good show

    Best BOFH in a long time, well done.

  10. Simon Millard

    Recycle for Christmas

    Love the chocolate topping. We have a christmas card that is stuck on our wall. We just cross out Christmas in Happy Christmas and substitute our own holiday season. A perpetual celebration card for want of a better term!

  11. Chris
    Dead Vulture

    lol

    Great stuff Simon!

    Indeed one of the best episodes in a looooooooooooooong time! Makes me wanna stay on the good side of the BofH

  12. yeah, right.

    back in good form I see.

    Ah, classic BOFH. Very valid insight, followed by cruelty and revenge. Love it!

  13. Christos Georgiou
    Thumb Up

    Great, great BOFH

    Last episode and this one reminded me of good old BOFH. Welcome back, Simon, whatever the distraction was (and it lasted for years!), it seems it is no more.

  14. Dave

    Gifts for the minions

    If the gifts started going to those who did the hard work, the management would soon put into place a gifts policy to prevent them from accepting gifts worth more than a quid. Although I did get a nice wireless mouse a couple of months ago...

  15. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Mars

    Dear Santa ...

    Dave,

    How about, for the man who has Virtually Everything under Control .... a nice wireless mouse? Drag and Drop Control.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Only the weak...

    ...believe in Santa Claus and expects presents for being good (which they simply aren't going to get because Simon has hacked into their database in the north pole and changed everyone else to naughty and listed all the toys to aliases with addresses at his residence). Bravo, another great episode!

    @Stuart johnson

    Maybe Simon also took the liberty to make sure the PFY doesn't remember last Christmas' incident while brainwashing him after the Archimedes incident?

  17. Kym Farnik
    Happy

    Best since the excrement license (SCO)

    Well done.

    Factually accurate. Christmas gifts and largess end up with the wrong people.

  18. JP Strauss
    Coat

    Foldy tripod chairs

    I wish I had a "modified" one like the director got. Mine was stolen last night (the fifth time in as many years that something of mine was stolen). Too bad the little *** won't be in agony.

    Let this be a lesson: never bring anything with you when visiting South Africa.

  19. Rick Brasche
    Pirate

    he forgets the real IT bane of Christmas cards...

    the dozens of extra printer calls. The setting up of high end color units so a PA can print out christmas cards. The repeated jams and broken parts from someone trying to use a metallic cardstock, or someone trying to get creative with the wrong type of transparency plastic. The Priority One emergency calls where you're pulling out parts of Christmas cards from the fusers and paper path while the perp denies it to his last breath while you drop off the accordioned and shredded evidence to her boss....who is now glad he can print *his* christmas card list.

    All with company consumables, company parts, and company time to keep them running.

    And this doesn't count the requests and problems dealing with image scanners, Photoshop and graphic design programs, downloaded doc templates containing malignant code, email errors with attachments (home designed christmas cards) that aren't getting past the email filters, or aren't in a format that our systems can open (incorrectly saved originally before attachment, but no one will ever admit it), and the ever hateful Animated E-Cards.

    I sincerely hope the BOfH goes after *users* about this annual blight next! :)

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