back to article Aussie-Irish boozer ejects 'terrorist' drinker

In a story replete with irony, a man has been booted out of an Irish pub in Cairns after his fellow drinkers, disturbed by his choice of reading material, reported him to the pub management. He was reading The Unknown Terrorist, a fictional thriller that tells the story of a ballet dancer who has a dodgy one-night stand with …


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  1. chuckufarley Silver badge

    It's nice to see...

    It's nice to see that that society's level of paranoria is now in line with all of it's other levels. Not only is this story not the bit suprising, but it is a sign that all is going well. We are so busy fighting one another that we are ignoring the real issues.

    Coat, Hat, Pub.

  2. Wizbit



  3. Solomon Grundy

    Terrorists are Winning

    They've got to be loving it too! They don't really even have to blow up that much anymore and the entire world is scared shitless of them. The best part is the more the governments try to "protect" us, the more they play into the hands of the terrorists through general paranoia and a pansified public who truly thinks they need protecting.

    Too bad really, I hope this passes soon, I don't want my kids to grow up in a world where the government scares people worse than the terrorists.

  4. Peter

    So ...

    In the UK he'd get a bullet in the brain, Canada tasered until he stops moving and US shipped of to Guantanamo ?

    He should consider himself lucky.

  5. Ian McNee

    Absolutely shocking!

    This is awful! I mean what next? Some dark-skinned guy with a rucsack mistaken for a terror suspect gunned down by armed police in the street (or on a popular form of public transport)?

    What is Oz coming to?!? We should be thankful that that kind of paranoid abomination couldn't happen here in good old blighty!

  6. Michael Miller

    Good thing he wasn't on the subway.......

    We all know how that turns out.

    Bullet proof ear muffs, anyone?

  7. spezzer

    yeah right....

    terrorism! - aussies cant even spell it! i'm more convinced he got kicked out for (a) reading a book in a bar (b) reading a book about a ballet dancer in a bar (c) not being a pasty aussie skin shade in a bar - discrimination is alive and well down-under!!

  8. cor
    Paris Hilton

    If Ned Kelly heard about this..

    .. he'd be turning in his grave.

    If this story is true, then it is a testimony to the cluelessness of some people. Maybe if he was reading "Mein Kampf" they wouldn't have said anything. Bunch of redneck f00knuts.

    Good job he wasn't reading "The Silence of the Lambs", heaven know what they would have thought of him. Oh, wait, they are sheepsh4ggers....

  9. Lyndon Hills


    that the difference between Australia and yogurt is that the yogurt has a culture.

    See icon, some of my best friends etc etc

  10. Matt Bryant Silver badge


    I suspect the book was merely a pretext, the real reason for his removal was one of the following:

    1/ An Aussie in a bar - the staff probably saw him as a threat to their employment.

    2/ His dancing was to blame - everyone knows Aussies can't dance, just like they can't play cricket, or rugby..... I mean they're almost as uncoordinated as those other colonials the Kiwis or the South Africans!


  11. Kwac

    Another success

    for terrorists.

    People living with fear all over, when are they going to stand up to them and just get on with their lives?

  12. AndyC

    Anyone else surprised...

    Welcome to your freedom citizen! It was all for the benifit of providing a more secure and safer environment for not only you, but those around you and their families and their poor blind three legged dog, Ruffles.

    Thank you for bringing this "literature" to our attention and you can rest assured that our Ministry of Truth and Ministry of Peace will both look into the full details surrounding where you bought it, how you purchased it and weather you have copied it or indeed lent it to anyone else. The results of this research will be available for as long as you can stand in Room 101at the Ministry of Love, where our attendants will help you in every way they can.


    Welcome to what happens when ignorence collides with media sensationalisation, sorry this happened to the poor guy, but guess its something that our overlords want us to get used to...

  13. Anonymous Coward

    @ Matt Bryant

    Correct me if i'm wrong but weren't Aha Norwegian?

    They're coming to take me away, aha, he he.

    Coat please, not too tight around the back there.

  14. Ferry Boat

    Terrorists 1036527, Rest of World 0

    Well, I reckon this story is dodgy. Who ever heard of a man who would dance without having a drink? Especially if you are 40. No way would you dance without at least six drinks.

    Lucky he wasn't reading 'Where's Spot?' otherwise he'd have been thrown out for being an unaccompanied dog.

  15. HeavyLight

    I'm amazed...

    ... that none of the rednecks asked, "What are you reading that book for?"

  16. Tim Croydon


    ... why would you go into a pub to dance, before you've even had a few looseners? Sounds like reason enough to eject him if you ask me!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't need a rucksac to be gunned down on a Tube train!

    Contrary to popular belief, a certain Brazilian Electrician wasn't carrying a rucksac when the lads from the Met rearranged his hairstyle!

  18. bambi

    Give them credit

    At least they could read the books title, after all they call beer XXXX cos they forgot how to spell beer

  19. Bob Kentridge

    Could've been worse

    He could have been reading recent Nobel Prize winner Doris Lessing's 'The Good Terrorist'....

  20. Christopher Rogers
    Paris Hilton

    Aussie Pooftas

    So instead of being kicked from a bar because he's reading (not drinking) he's kicked for what he's reading....

    The whole country is turning into The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert....

  21. Andrew Moore

    I'm suspecting professional jealousy...

    For years us Irish prided ourselves as being the best terrorists in the world. Now the muzzies have come in an nicked our crown. Now we're just known as "The Riverdance people".

  22. Anonymous Coward


    FFS, didn't the Nazi's do crap like this... ?!

  23. Gareth

    Just an observation

    I've *been* to Australlia. Mad Max wasn't a film, it was a documentry.

    Anyway, serves him right for not wearing one of these " I'm not Brazillian " T-Shirts the missus bought for me. They must be the ultimate in UK public transport safety devices.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    anyway reading that trash, and dancing, bah!

  25. Anonymous Coward

    as noted lizard fancier david icke says...

    "If you want to give more powers to the police, security agencies and military, and you want the public to demand you do it, then ensure there is more crime, violence and terrorism, and then it's a cinch to achieve your aims. Once the people are in fear of being burgled, mugged or bombed, they will demand that you take their freedom away to protect them from what they have been manipulated to fear."

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Re:as noted lizard fancier david icke says...

    The aforementioned turquoise lizard spotter is (for once) almost correct.

    The difference is that the Government doesn't have to *ensure* there is more crime and terror. All they have to do *say* there is more crime and terror, then sit back while the 'popular media' (i.e, those that specialise in the thick-as-shit end of the market) blow it all out of proportion.

    Before you know it they have the perfect excuse to introduce new laws to 'protect' us and new taxes to pay for it all.

    Though most people with more than two brain cells to rub together (i.e, those that don't rely on Fox for their info) know that when Bush and Brown say 'protect' they really mean 'subjugate'.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Book burning

    At least they didn't burn the book.

  28. Simon Bradshaw

    Could have been worse...

    He might have been seen reading this:

    - in which case he'd presumably have been taken out on the spot by the local SWAT or equivalent.

  29. Stratman

    Irish bar?????

    Presumably it had pictures of leprachauns on the wall and sold freezing pints of O'Castlemain.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why are people afraid of "terrorists"

    Sounds like he was reading a girls book, in which case, they were right to kick him out.

    Anyway, I'm sick of hearing "terrorists this, terrorists that". It's like totally boring and stuff. The media are to blame, shower of bastards!

  31. Sampler

    Who goes into a bar

    and manages to read most of a book and have a dance before buying a drink - too right they kicked the cheapskate out.

    Either that or he's full of shite and had spilt his pint whilst dancing - sacrilege that is - especially to an Irishman....

  32. Brian
    Black Helicopters

    Old news, y'all.....

    Here in the states, a member of a gym was overheard talking with someone on the phone about the wisdom of sending troops to the Sunny Sandbox when the terrorists were actually based out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia.(ssshhhh..don't make too large a mention of this...they are our friends after all................with "friends" like that...blah blah blah).

    Long story short....the eavesdroppers (also fellow members of this gym) contacted the local Feds and, as a result, he was questioned at length about his discussion. By "at length", I mean the better part of 2 days.

    Crap...I almost forgot....he was a 66 year old white know---the "classic" terrorist profile. Oh, and the time frame was shortly before first deployment.

    Orwell would be proud..and Solzhenitsyn would be saying "I told ya so!"

    The most hilarious aspect of the paranoia is the complete inability by those afflicted to make honest rationalization. I say "hilarious" because if you REALLY try to concieve of a bunch of zealots arriving at the outskirts of your local municipality with obvious intent to do harm, here in the states they would be mowed down in a hail of bullets by the local armed citizenry (only if they weren't too busy trying to shoot the lugnuts off of their vehicles....but I digress...) If they attempted this around Alabama ( or Georgia, Louisiana, etc...), not only would they get reduced to a fine red mist, but whatever was left would probably be turned into jerky. Only after that would the police be summoned.

    The final punch line is the fact that this communication has most likely been run through a "splitter" and has has a copy of itself run into a Data Repository in California. Room 641b I believe.

    Cue uneasy, stifled laughter.....

  33. Diogenies

    It was his strange behaviour that got him ejected

    A little more info from the Cairns Post, adding details that sure seem relevant:

    “A man’s odd behaviour was what patrons of a Cairns pub say led them to fear he was a terrorist.... Mr Chalk failed to mention he was standing on the dance floor motionless for a period of 20-30 minutes...Mr Chalk also failed to mention he had a side pack on his hip with wires hanging out of it, and the fact that it was 10.30pm and he was carrying a book called The Unknown Terrorist in clear view”.

    The wires were from Chalk’s MP3 player.

  34. Big Pete
    Black Helicopters

    As an Aussie

    I blame our scumbag prime minister, John (lying rodent) Howard and his "Be Alert not Alarmed" advertising campaign, designed to turn us all into agents for the state.

    eat your heart out Stasi.

  35. Doug

    re: It was his strange behaviour that got him ejected

    > A man’s odd behaviour was what patrons of a Cairns pub say led them to fear he was a terrorist

    Where does it say this in the original article, do you have any direct citations apart from a mention on a blog, which is all I can find.

  36. wayne


    This was local. Lucky he wasn't in the toilet, it would lead to confusion as to what sort of "piss" he was taking while leaving the book face up on the ledge.

    If you think that is bad, try getting on an local plane and telling them the book is "not an bomb" (seriously, don't, the laws give long prison sentences and there have been an number of local incidents ;).

    Political paranoia gone mad, maybe. If the dimwits only knew how easy it was to seriously do something, they might have some sort of sense of humor. Back in the 70's (or maybe early 80's) there was an sixteen year old that designed an serious bomb as an party trick, according to law enforcement all it needed was the actual materials.

  37. T J

    Cairns is still there?

    As an Australian I am shocked and appalled to find that Cairns still exists!

    I was sure that we bombed it flat - didn't we??- and turned it into a national park YEARS ago because of the sheer number of f*****wits that were growing there?

  38. T J


    Hmmm, wonder if this comment will actually make it.

    As an Oz, I'm amazed, shocked and appalled to hear that Cairns still exists.

    I could have sworn we nuked it to protect our DNA pool back in the 70's.....

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not too many Aussies involved

    Having recently been to afore-mentioned pub during a work-related jaunt to Cairns, I can tell you that there aren't too many aussies in evidence at that pub, or indeed anywhere at Cairns.

    Having said that, are we all so old that we have forgotten how these places work?

    "Wrong shoes,mate, you'll have to leave"

    "no red shirts tonight, sorry, not allowed in"

    "no trainers"

    "no work boots"


    Who cares why they ejected him - annoying losers get turfed out of pubs and bars all the time for whatever reason the bouncers can dream up, using the limited and steroid-stunted intellect available to them at the time.

    "Reading a book about a terrorist and standing motionless in the middle of the dance floor" sounds like one of thos most valid reasons for chucking somebody out that I've ever heard.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As an aussie...

    As an aussie I thought I would just respond to some of the comments in here:

    "terrorism! - aussies cant even spell it!"

    Yeah tell that to the families of the nearly 100 aussies who died in the bali bombings moron.

    "discrimination is alive and well down-under!!"

    Every country has it's dumb hicks... look at all the red states in America. It's pretty harsh to paint us all with the same brush though.

    "Oh, wait, they are sheepsh4ggers..."

    Nope, that's the new zelanders. To quote wikipedia page on domestic sheep: "In New Zealand, sheep outnumber the human population 12 to 1"

    "I suspect the book was merely a pretext, the real reason for his removal was one of the following..."

    I suspect it was because he went to an irish pub in a distinctly redneck town and ordered pink cocktails with the fairy umbrella's in them.

    "after all they call beer XXXX cos they forgot how to spell beer"

    Hey that's a joke about Queenslanders. No-one else in Australia would be stupid enough to drink that crap.

    "The whole country is turning into The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert...."

    Do you all you poms just speak in cliche? seriously, have you ever even been here?

    P.S I was just wondering... have you guys figured out the great practical joke us Aussies have been playing on the rest of the world for the last couple of decades yet? You know no-one in Australia actually drinks Fosters right? That is the most disgusting swill we can produce, that's why we export all of it to the UK and America.

    Drink Australian, think Australian? ROFL.

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