back to article Will bird flu stuff our Happy Christmas?

Will the latest outbreak of bird flu (the nasty, H5N1 strain) in the UK do for Christmas this year what Farepak did last year? Are we all due to sit down to a table of trimmings, without the turkey*? On Sunday, the highly pathogenic strain of the virus was discovered on Redgrave Park farm in Suffolk. The authorities swung into …

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  1. Paul van der Lingen
    Coat

    bleh

    Turkey is, *cough* foul anyway. I will be cooking a gammon and a nice chicken.

  2. Ferry Boat
    Dead Vulture

    H5N1

    No, it won't mess up Xmas dinner. If you like to eat that horrible, dry, old-socks tasting, cardboard textured bird then maybe not having it will open your eyes or mouth to better things to eat. Like lentils wrapped in cabbage with turnip puree on top. I like to express to Nigella. Oh yes.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Ferry Boat

    "lentils wrapped in cabbage", oh god, bring on the turkey.

  4. JasonW
    Coat

    No impact here

    It'll be a home-produced curry for mine - just to be different. Failing that roast pork with plenty of crackling and proper gravy - not the tasteless garbage that a turkey or chicken makes.

    Ferry Boat's right - no-one would voluntarily eat turkey, would they?

  5. Shakje

    I had goose for the first time...

    last year, and it's amazing. It's near the top of my favourite meats list, never mind birds alone.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Turkey? Bah!

    Never mind all this pawltry poultry, just break out the 12-bores, shove on the green wellies, crank up the black labs and put a chav on the table this Christmas Day what ho!

  7. Kebabster
    Paris Hilton

    @Ferry Boat

    If yours is horrible, dry, old-socks tasting and cardboard textured then perhaps you should learn how to cook Turkey?

    Of course it's generally badly cooked, most people only make it once a year.

  8. Ferry Boat

    We need to talk about Kevin

    @Anon Cow.

    In your first post you missed out the turnip puree. No wonder it didn't sound too nice.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Disappointing

    But surely with the advent of teenage pregnancies, chylymidia etc.....stuffing a diseased bird has now become a primary Xmas pastime?

  10. Sean Donnellan
    IT Angle

    I'm sorry, but

    If Ferry Boat's turkey is a "dry, old-socks tasting, cardboard textured bird", I'd suggest ie's buying from the economy range of birds, not dressing it properly, and then overcooking it.

    Open your eyes and a cookbook, it's not that hard. (RTFM - - > RTFCB)

    Lentils in cabbage - you wimp.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bleh

    Somehow I don't believe Farepak fouled up your last Xmas.

    I'm going to have wild duck (as usual). I don't give a toss if it has H5N1. I know that cooking @220C kills viruses. If you haven't shot it yourself, you probably won't even have to worry about cross-contamination.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Capon

    I actually like turkey, though I seem to be in a minority.

    On Christmas day my family usually sits down to a nice capon, or roast beef on the bone.

    It's a shame that there isn't an equivalent virus wiping out Brussels sprouts instead...

  13. Ferry Boat

    Cook the turkey, cook the turkey

    ok, this is how to make it nasty.

    Stuff.

    Cut slits into the skin, push butter under skin.

    Cover skin in olive oil.

    Cook covered at std heat until almost done. Baste regularly.

    Cook final 30-45 mins on higher heat uncovered to crisp skin.

    Let stand.

    Carve, taste, throw whole fucking thing in garden for foxes to eat and reach for that cabbage.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    I'm the IT angle where is my prize

    I work in IT

    I keep pet chickens (They are the most entertaining pets ever better then hamsters, gerbils guinepigs and rabbits combined*)

    If Defra increases it's panic zone by a couple of miles then they will have to be moved into the server room.

    seriously people, it's a bird disease if your not related to a chicken you have nothing to fear, the whole flu pandemic is just a pharmaceutical industry ruse to get more government money.

    * Although come to think of it a combined hamsters-gerbil-guinepig-rabbit might be almost as cool as a talking frog.

  15. Freddie

    @Sean Donnellan

    "Lentils in cabbage - you wimp"

    Er... right. Liking different foods makes you a wimp. Have you ever tried making sense? Or do you think eating a farmed animal that was killed and prepared by someone else makes you a real man?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    Re: Cook the turkey, cook the turkey

    "ok, this is how to make it nasty.

    Stuff. .."

    NOOOO!! Don't stuff the turkey!

    Cook the stuffing separate.

  17. Ferry Boat

    Stuffing

    @Anon Cow.

    errr.... think you might have made a little mistake. I was talking about a little pre-cooking romance.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    100 quid?

    "the price of a turkey for Christmas lunch could hit £100, according to some reports."

    Um, really? Will people really pay £100 for a turkey rather than find an alternative? I'm thinking about pheasant this year (or maybe vulture).

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Christmas dinner

    Always reminds me of that bumper sticker

    "A turkey is for Christmas, not for life"

    and as for Brussels Sprouts, how can you not like them? Almost the best veg that exists, if done properly.

    me, I plan to go skiing, and come back to a nice hot bird. And dinner.

  20. Steve Dulieu
    Flame

    On the cooking of the wiley sprout...

    You will need;

    Serves four.

    Sprouts (nach)

    A red onion

    Two cloves of garlic

    Some fresh chillies

    A jar of Sharwoods sweet chilli stir fry sauce.

    Seasame oil

    Take the sprouts and par boil 'em.

    Chop the onion and chillies and roughly crush the garlic.

    Heat the oil in a wok, then add all the ingredents and stir fry until done.

    Place loo roll in freezer for use the following day.

    SWMBO and I call it "Sprout Diablo" althought the original inspriation came from "Sprout Mexicane" as featured on "Bottom".

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Re: On the cooking of the wiley sprout...

    Actually, that sounds quite nice.

    One question though: With the threat of global warming, what's the methane footprint of a family of four after eating 'Sprouts Diablo'?

  22. Piers
    Happy

    Make mine a pheasant

    I don't think I have ever had turkey for Christmas.

    It's always been pheasant, or partridge (a whole one each), or one year it was one of those bird-in-bird things with a succession of smaller birds stuffed in larger ones. Delicious.

  23. Colin Millar
    Black Helicopters

    Terrorist turkeys

    The government's acting chief veterinary officer said: "... practice the highest levels of biosecurity "

    So now we know - these turkeys have been executed for not carrying biometric passports. Someone in HMG must have overheard a conversation about a "turkey" that "bombed"

  24. Brian
    Alert

    Craptastic...

    I was gonna leave a post...

    But I coulda sworn I just heard one of our chickens sneeze.

    Boots on, 12-bore in hand...gotta nip this in the bud....

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