back to article Russians offer Terry Pratchett-style droid luggage

Reports out of Russia indicate that a battery-powered motorised suitcase which automatically follows its owner will be on the market in 2009*. The robot luggage No escape from dirty laundry. Russia-Infocentre says the Terry Pratchett-style mobile, smart luggage will track a "sensor-card" carried by its user. The …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    Uhm... eek?

    If it's Terry Pratchett-style, does that mean it'll have a tendency to eat people?

    And where are all the legs?

  2. Anonymous Coward

    2 Hour Battery?

    Won't even have got through check-in at the airport in that time. So about as useful as a chocolate teapot then

  3. Haku

    Red Dwarf

    In episode 4 of series 2, "Stasis Leak", Lister & the Cat are at one point in a hotel lobby, an autonomous suitcase comes up to cat and asks if he's seen a man about 5"10' with mousey hair cause he's lost him.

    The person voicing the suitcase is coincedentally called Tony Hawks.

  4. Spleen

    Pretty useless

    It's a cute idea, but in a crowded airport or Tube platform, there is no way something like that is going to be able to follow its owner through the crowd without being kicked over. Its size is such that I don't see why you wouldn't just carry it.

    If you made it much, much bigger, it might be worthwhile. If it was big enough you could carry luggage around the airport without using trolleys, and it wouldn't get knocked over.

    But people are just not going to let small bags alone to their own devices, no more than they would small children. Small children are capable of following you as well, and they can go up stairs, but you still hold their hand and don't let go until you get out of the Tube.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Artoo, where's my underwear....?


    you did WHAT with it ?


    No you may NOT use your charger to do that to the Samsonite


    I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. I'll be quiet now, coat is on.

  6. Silas Humphreys

    But the important question is...

    will it eat anyone trying to steal from it? If it doesn't, no way am I buying one...

  7. Graham Bartlett

    The Luggage!

    Never mind following me, I want a suitcase that can randomly assault other people in the queue! Oh wait, when the software goes for a burton it'll probably do that anyway...

    "Ding-dong. Please can Mr al-Hazred come to desk number 35, where his suitcase is COMING RIGHT FOR M<snap>."

  8. The Mole

    Unattended luggage

    In British airports this would be viewed as unattented luggage and blown up!

    Pick pockets would love it, steal someones wallet and their luggage comes for free with them

  9. Fluffykins Silver badge

    Suitcase - nah!

    Try a robo-moto-golf bag trolley. Loads of gadget happy punters with deep pockets and shallow self-esteem.

    Did anyone know GOLF is FLOG spelt backwards



  10. MarkMac

    Reg angle

    Reg angle:

    More use if it could be "biting the hand that steals IT" ?

  11. Rob

    In other news...

    RBN have announced the forthcoming launch of their "Smart Luggage Rootkit" aimed at airport pickpockets worldwide.

  12. David

    Security issues?

    I have to wonder if this has really been thought through, does anyone really believe that the rabid paranoid crazies that would ban you from talking liquid on planes are going to allow this suitcase full of wires, sensors and batteries on board?

  13. Eric Wilner

    Pickpocket prevention

    "Pick pockets would love it, steal someones wallet and their luggage comes for free with them"

    Yes, but it makes it so much easier to spot the pickpocket!

    Steal my wallet, and the Luggage will follow you to the ends of the Earth!

  14. Mitch Russell

    Security problems

    How many security gnomes would a true Pratchettian style luggage eat before the batteries went down?

  15. Steve


    Is there an award for most useless invention of the year?

    I'm trying to find words, but it just sounds so completely and utterly useless that I'm nearly at a loss.

    Lets just never speak of it again, okay?

  16. One-armed Freddy

    Mid air disaster

    If it accidentally switched itself on during the flight would it smash its way from the cargo hold to the cabin to be reunited with its owner?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    They should put a seat on it or have some kind of foot platform like a segway so it could move the person around as well.

    It always annoys me when I'm running for a flight when people come past me at high speed in those carts when I still have 10 minutes of walking to do with only 5 minutes to go.

  18. Big Al

    How much content?

    What's the point of something that can carry 30kg of gear when the airlines charge you an arm and a leg for anything over 20kg (or in some cases 15kg)?

  19. Nexox Enigma

    Re: How much content?

    "What's the point of something that can carry 30kg of gear when the airlines charge you an arm and a leg for anything over 20kg (or in some cases 15kg)?"

    I imagine that if you've got the funds to buy an automated rolly bag to keep from having to drag it yourself, you can take the fee. Then again it might be cheaper just to hire someone at each end of your flight to carry / drag your baggage to your limo.

    So I guess what I'm saying is that if it can't catch sharks, then theres no point in buying it.

  20. Brett Brennan
    Paris Hilton

    About as useful as a bullfrog on Paris Hilton's mamms... least in Los Estados Unidos, where it would not be allowed through security...and the short walk from the taxi stand to the curb-side check-in isn't worth the hassle. Especially since there are still Red Caps to be had for US$2 per bag.

    On the other hand, if they were £96 instead of £965, I'd get a half-dozen and have them ALL following me through the aeropuerto just for the giggles it would cause. Take a circuit around the check-in desks, banging folks feet and causing general mayhem. Well worth £300 just for the You-Tube opportunity...

    @ Seat: in most US airports, the guys with the golf carts will pick up ANYONE that flags them down, and for a tenner, give you a ride to your gate. This is VERY key knowledge in places like Phoenix (PHX) or St. Louis (STL) where connecting flights may be as much as 1.5 MILES (3KM) apart (yeah, I measured it), all within ONE terminal. Now, FINDING the golf-cart guys is a challenge, but I use 'em all the time - when they're there.

  21. Subtilior

    Exploding version?

    They need to do an exploding version for the Jihad-challenged types amongst us

  22. Sam

    Prior Art

    There was a briefcase that trundled into a lobby, and made for the fired teacher in Fahrenheit 451...

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Why would anyone need one of these?

    My genetically-engineered hi-explosive-poo-flinging monkey butler will carry my bags for me!

  24. Anonymous Coward

    What about the finish.

    Can I get it with a nice Sapient Pearwood exterior and Octaroon trim?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Weight ...

    30Kg payload, 10Kg of batteries; what does the thing itself weigh? I have a vision of it fighting its way out after check in.

    Mind you, autonomous bags could allow for suicide bombings without the suicide, so someone will have a use for it.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    terrorist luggage

    Wouldn't have any human rights - 240 volts up it's jacksie and it'd take you to it's master. Mind, our Lewis might have to do unspeakable things to it first..

  27. Keith T

    Is that your luggage, sir?

    So there you are, at the airport and the droid luggage hasn't had Service Pack 2 yet. You find yourself attracting all the other droid suitcases due to non-filtering of other signals from mobiles and the like and end up looking like mother duck.

    Or some bright spark with laptop picks your bag up on wireless and starts driving it around the terminal. Hmm, now there's something to while away the hours -- bag racing.

    " a tenner says I can get my bag round the waiting area and back quicker that you can get yours to do the same"

    "Nah, lets play human bowling with the queue at Macdonalds"

  28. Brent Russell

    Like my donkey ?...

    Mount a seat on it and have a long stick with the 'card' on, never walk again.

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