
Where's the Paris Hilton connection?
Ah.
Where's the IT connection then?
Conservationists have welcomed Paris Hilton's apparent concern for elephants who, tanked up on rice beer, rampage around the Indian countryside with sometimes tragic results. During the highly-talented heiress's trip last week to Tokyo, she highlighted the pachyderm piss-up problem which recently accounted for six animals in …
Many years ago, I lived in a suburb of Liverpool called Woolton. The local pub was The Elephant. After a major refurbishment, the owners decided to mark the re-opening by hiring a real elephant for a day.
This was in the early autumn, and the pub garden had a number of apple trees. There were hundreds of windfalls on the ground, and the elephant began eating them. Unfortunately, many of the apples had already begun to ferment, and the unwitting heffalump soon became quite sozzled. Its keeper was unable to control it, and it went on a rampage around Woolton.
It was probably the most exciting thing to happen in Woolton since the teenage John Lennon and Paul McCartney played at the church fete.
I profusely thank you El Reg for providing us stories about the one woman in the world who can only be classed as having a most sensitive soul, who deeply cares about the environment, others and of course those poor Rwandans..
Ok ill grab my D&G coat, oh sorry that's Paris's....
"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."
I love how she makes it sound like they are teenagers getting hold of booze. Surely they are breaking in to where ever the alcohol is and nicking it?
Also, when an elephant drinks does it remember what it was up to when it wakes up the next day...?
http://www.jazzbutcher.com/htdb/lyrics/water.html
Has the elephant had any water
Has that elephant had any water
Life is short and it's always getting shorter
So think about the elephant and give him a drink
Has the elephant had any water
Has the elephant got any shorter
Don't care if you look like Dracula's daughter
Talk to the elephant and see what he thinks
Think about the elephant and give him a drink
Talk to the elephant
Because he thinks about...drink
"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."
Yeah, that's very true, happens all the time. I've seen it. Last time was in the pub, after a number of Elephant pints (Carlsberg). Around at the 12th or 13th., was looking at my pint, and I saw the elephant move. I swear... It was surely drunk, judging by the way it was dancing... Very dangerous .... Would be worse in India (as everything is worse here) ...
And oh, well, that chick, Hilton, does she still feel "empty inside" ? You'll have to pour the whole water of the earth oceans inside her to only lower that feeling :-)
"I am indeed happy Hilton has taken note of recent incidents of wild elephants in north-east India going berserk after drinking homemade rice beer and getting killed."
To hell with the rise of the machines, in India it appears to be the rising dead elephants going nuts that the locals are worried about if this story is to be believed.
Begs the question, if elephants are normally grey, what colour are zombie elephants?
I think she's jealous of the fact that they don't have to wear underwear and can drink more than she can. And who knows, the elephant could wake up the next morning and tell his buddies "Dude, Dude, dude, you'll never guess who I shagged last night." Incidentally, look here for a great debate on the definition of a "Dude".
http://www.worthlessfacts.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=comments.dsp_comments&factID=876&tierParentID=8
Hollywood has the stars of Lost drunk and rampaging around the streets terrorising the locals and Bollywood has the elephants. I'm not sure which is more terrifying. We do need to which figure out which group would cause the most caranage though. Is there a E - reg unit of measurement for this. I think we need one
"The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."
I wouldn't know where to start on this comment! Does she REALLY have an IQ that is too low to measure?
Ok it has to be done:
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
"Opens Coat shop"
Me ---> Raincoat ----> Shops
Sadly it seems that this story did not happen:
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/P/PEOPLE_PARIS_HILTON?SITE=TNKNN&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT
"GAUHATI, India (AP) -- In a Nov. 13 story, The Associated Press incorrectly reported that Paris Hilton was praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India. Lori Berk, a publicist for Hilton, said she never made any comments about helping drunken elephants in India."